Sick and Tired of being in Debt!

dumpy

Thrifty_Pixie wrote: »

'Like I have said, I am no gambling addict. I have made the simple mistake of thinking that I could try and win some money to solve my situations and try and make a new start and have made it worse... '

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Hi AJ...I've been reading your story and your comment above could be the words of most gambling addicts i've ever met.

I agree with you, it does sound like denial.

I wonder how it went last night.

Happytogetdebtfree

Hope everything went ok last night x

AJLondon

Hi all.

Well my OH read all this thread from start to finish.. was at home for 5 hours before I got home.. cried her eyes out, copied and pasted bits and pieces on here into a document to write her thoughts and questions about it all for when I got home.

I got home and went through it all... we both did. She wondered why she had to read it all on here and not me telling her face to face to which I explained that for me, to ensure I said everything was better to put it down in black and white so I won't hide anything. Once I get started with things like that I cant stop and I tend to bear it all as you guys have seen.

At the moment she is angry, upset, feels betrayed and let down, all the things I knew she would be. She didn't take my cards or paperwork or online banking details. So there and then I cut up my credit card.

Its going to take (this time) a hell of a long time to sort us out.. and me out.. right now we are still together and love each other but its going to be difficult for her to trust me, which I can understand and I wouldn't expect her to be any different.

She has said that she wants to help me but I need to prove myself to her and I have one final chance. After about 2 hours of talking she went to bed... that was when I went onto the laptop and saw her notes and bits a pieces and everything she felt at the time about things I had posted on here.... thats when I cried my eyes out...

dumpy

Good to hear from you.

Now whats the plan?

Cards are cut up - good.

How are you going to manage the day to day stuff to live on the amount you have per month.?

Have you a plan to raise some money selling DVDs etc to bring down the cc and overdraft?


Be prepared for her to think about this a lot in the next few days. I was told out of the blue and although at first I thought I had accepted it, I did change as the realisation sank in.

AJLondon

I understand that... we are going to sit down and work everything out. She has mentioned that she has just got a new CC 0% 12 months and I can transfer the majority of my CC on there and pay it off without the interest.. so we are working on it... will sit down and come up with a plan together

AJLondon

P.s The overdraft has gone... and I asked the bank when I was there to get rid of the facility altogether... so account has changed from Ultimate Reward to just Reward account. I am also thinking about a part time job when I work lates, or working Saturday's or Sundays

InaPickle

Well done, AJ! :j You've done brilliantly telling your GF and also cutting up your CC. Of course it has come as a heck of a shock to her and she will need a bit if time to digest it all, but it's a heck of a start, especially with the 0% CC factored into it.

I look forward to reading about your progress. I think things will change quite a lot within the next few days/week for you.

Pickle

AJLondon

Thanks fingers crossed!!

dumpy

AJLondon wrote: »

I understand that... we are going to sit down and work everything out. She has mentioned that she has just got a new CC 0% 12 months and I can transfer the majority of my CC on there and pay it off without the interest.. so we are working on it... will sit down and come up with a plan together

Hmmm, I'd really, really think about that one.

I can understand that it will cut the interest rates down that you have to pay but it's a huge commitment for her to take on your debt.

There will be people who say "you are in this together and it's a relationship so it'll be fine" equally there will be people who are still paying off debts that were transfered and that the partner didn't keep up the repayments.

What would you do if at the end of the month you don't have enough for the loans and the cc, who doesn't get paid?

I'm not saying don't do it, I'm saying don't rush and fully take on board all the implications to both of you.

smartpicture

AJLondon wrote: »

She has mentioned that she has just got a new CC 0% 12 months and I can transfer the majority of my CC on there and pay it off without the interest.. so we are working on it... will sit down and come up with a plan together

Sorry, but this really rings alarm bells for me. I know it's the 'logical' financial choice, but only if you are both 100% certain beyond even the tiniest doubt that you will not trip up again, or you will not split up in the future - and who can really be 100% certain of that?

There are so many people left with debts that belong to their ex-partner through no fault of your own, that it's just not fair for your other half to take on that burden - even if she wants to help you. At the very least, you should spend a couple of months proving your good intentions before that happens.