Sick and Tired of being in Debt!

AJLondon

Not good at all. I wake up and think about money, how much I owe and its constantly on my mind.. Its like a cloud that is hanging over me and will be for the next 5 years. Not only that but the way in which my relationship has suffered and is suffering.. i am at my lowest point right now.....much worse than before...

AJLondon

Have also over the weekend and asked about part time work at Tesco and was told nothing available.. Can't believe its got to that stage with me.. feel humiliated and ashamed so much that I have to ask for a second job..

Have also asked my work to freeze my pension payments for 12 months which means an additional £60 per month towards paying my CC back.

dumpy

AJLondon wrote: »

Not good at all. I wake up and think about money, how much I owe and its constantly on my mind.. Its like a cloud that is hanging over me and will be for the next 5 years. Not only that but the way in which my relationship has suffered and is suffering.. i am at my lowest point right now.....much worse than before...

So you have two choices, either you can wallow in the fact that you have made mistakes and it'll take some time to pay off or you can take the bull by the horns and start to deal with it.

By the way the debt need not take 5 years, you could save and pay off the loans early, once you are in the position to save money..

Your relationship will suffer if you continue to be miserable about it.

I'll give you an idea how your GF is feeling, based on my own experience.

First was the shock of what he was telling me. Immediately I wanted to help (similar to your GF offering the 0% deal)

Then after a day or so I was sooo angry, that he had done this without thinking of me or talking to me. This lasted for a couple of weeks.

Then I started to calm down and wanted to see what he was doing about it. I found that he was doing nothing. Ignoring the debt and refusing to sort out a plan. Getting cross that he couldn't get hold of money to buy things he wanted. Being miserable about how he couldn't get any more credit.

It was the final step that drove me away. How on Earth could I have a relationship with someone that didn't think I was important enough to talk to or couldn't put together a plan to sort it out.

Oh and sorting it out is not taking another loan but paying back what he owed and only spending what he earned.

I wanted a relationship with a responsible person. I could have coped with the debt if there had been a plan but there wasn't and I wanted an equal in my partnership, not someone who I was going to have to carry for the rest of my life.

This may sound harsh but you MUST start being positive and putting plans into place.


What did you do over the weekend? Anything positive?

finnigan

AJLondon wrote: »

feel humiliated and ashamed so much that I have to ask for a second job..

Have also asked my work to freeze my pension payments for 12 months which means an additional £60 per month towards paying my CC back.

Don't be. You should only feel like that if you were not prepared to take one on. My DH took a job that all our families and friends sneered at. I took the view that he was earning a wage to care for his family and was extremly proud of him for doing it.

Re the pension, short term I understand you're in a pickle but please remember to re-instate this as soon as you can

dumpy

AJLondon wrote: »

Have also over the weekend and asked about part time work at Tesco and was told nothing available.. Can't believe its got to that stage with me.. feel humiliated and ashamed so much that I have to ask for a second job..

Have also asked my work to freeze my pension payments for 12 months which means an additional £60 per month towards paying my CC back.

I work a main job and 3 part time ones. What is there to be ashamed about? I'm not!

AJLondon

Dumpy, listen I am not the same person as your OH that obviously caused you alot of pain.. I have a plan and plan that me and my OH have worked on and set in place.. I intend on sticking to this plan WITHOUT question and am working on different ways to cut back my spending per month and to maybe obtain some extra cash.

What I am saying (as I was asked the question how i was getting on) was that I was finding everything hard to deal with and the affects it was having on my relationship and me personally..

I for one, never ever thought I would have to look at the option of looking for additional work as well as my main job, thats all i was saying... again it wasn't aimed at you or to wind you up!

I am not the same person as your OH so stop comparing me

AJLondon

Just to add, I have confirmation from Mazuma Mobile that my phone will earn me £57.00 cash into my account once they receive it, also managed to squeeze 2 hours overtime out of work last Friday and intend to get more whenever I can manage it from now on.

dumpy

AJLondon wrote: »

Dumpy, listen I am not the same person as your OH that obviously caused you alot of pain.. I have a plan and plan that me and my OH have worked on and set in place.. I intend on sticking to this plan WITHOUT question and am working on different ways to cut back my spending per month and to maybe obtain some extra cash.

What I am saying (as I was asked the question how i was getting on) was that I was finding everything hard to deal with and the affects it was having on my relationship and me personally..

I for one, never ever thought I would have to look at the option of looking for additional work as well as my main job, thats all i was saying... again it wasn't aimed at you or to wind you up!

I am not the same person as your OH so stop comparing me

Hi AJ

Sorry about the comparisons, I really didn't mean it to come across like that.

All I was trying to do was to give you some insight as to how the other person was feeling.

I'll bow out now as I've obviously wound you up which I didn't intend to do.


Oh and don't worry about the jobs either, I do a well paid professional job as the main wage, the other jobs are my pocket money jobs so that I can do the hobbies I want to pursue and to pay my mortgage off before I'm 40.

Good luck, I won't post again.

AJLondon

Dumpy..

Listen, thats not want I wanted to do either.. I was just saying that I am not who he was and don't intend to be...

So stop being stupid and carry on in here... I need your help as much as anyone..

misscousinitt

You are at a low point, I understand that; BUT you have made positive steps towards paying off your debts.

£60 extra from the pension contribution (please re-instate as soon as possible though) and 2 hours extra overtime - this is really positive...

Its early days yet and you won't really start to see much impact for a few months yet...but don't get disheartened...take pride in the fact that you are dealing with this NOW and that your girlfriend is on side.

I've said it before...you have got a roof over your head, household bills paid and food in your belly - you have a lot to be thankful for.

You can do this, ;-) chin up and instead of thinking about how long you are going to be in debt for, think about how the extra cash is going to REDUCE your time in debt.