Sick and Tired of being in Debt!

AJLondon

dumpy wrote: »

Yes I do realise that this has hit you hard and I'm full of admiration for you coming on here and posting but I'm writing as a person who has lost thousands of pounds to someone who thought that he needed to spend money and go out.

In the end he needed/wanted to do that more than he wanted me. I won't go into details about how that made me feel. He said he loved me and that I was the most important thing in his life. But I wasn't, spending money was more important to him.

You say in your earlier posts that all your food/bills are accounted for which is brill. So what do you actually need to spend money on in the next month?

Write it down and look at it and think "how important is this to me"

I'm not trying to have a go, I'm trying to get you to look at what you want to spend your money on.

I know you aren't Dumps.. thank you.. Well the money I have would be for additional spending... which has made me realise what the hell am i spending my money on?.. With the help from you all on here I know I can pull my belt tight and struggle for a couple of months to get into a routine and then make a start on my long road from there...

P.s Halifax - called back and I spoke to them they wanted me to remortgage which I said was not an option..

P.P.S I would rather deal with the problem and pay this all back myself without going through a DMP...

jintyb

Believe me, a DMP is not an easy option but it DOES give you discipline and support. Its a voluntary thing not the same as bankruptcy/ IVA. Iknow its your choice and I respect that - I just wanted you to know that you dont have to struggle with this alone.

AJLondon

jintyb wrote: »

Believe me, a DMP is not an easy option but it DOES give you discipline and support. Its a voluntary thing not the same as bankruptcy/ IVA. Iknow its your choice and I respect that - I just wanted you to know that you dont have to struggle with this alone.

Thanks Jinty...

I will post a question in their thread..

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi didnt want to read and run, i think a big weight will be lifted when you speak to your oh, and also a soa will be great people can see where they can help you cut back etc etc..... lifes very hard when you have the big realisation of s**t i owe this much money, how when why did this happen to me.... im still on my journey and im begining to accept that if i havent got the cash to buy what i want i have to save for it.. some days i feel thoughrly fed up, otherdays im full of energy ready to face the debt and get it paid but the overall key is acceptance, i accept that i will be in this predicament for another couple of years and thats the way it is unless i win the lottery or get a sudden windfall payrise lol.. but i must keep myself going and you will be able to too.... i have my credit cards at my mums and i just pay each month i dont look at the bill there is no point the intrest will just upset me so untill im nearing an amount thats got more paying off than intrest taken il carrying on paying via direct debit xx... sorry for the diary take over and waffle i dont know where it came from lol

AJLondon

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1640
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1640

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 650
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 40
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 0
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 17.33
Other insurance......................... 26.19
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 733.52


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Halifax Loan (1)...............16225.....394.......12.4
Halifax Loan (2)...............3000......82.32.....29.9
Tesco Loan.....................9250......203.......11.39
Halifax Credit Card............2426.98...34.61.....14.9
Total unsecured debts..........30901.98..713.93....


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,640
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 733.52
Available for debt repayments........... 906.48
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 713.93
Amount left after debt repayments....... 192.55

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. -0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -30,901.98
Net Assets.............................. -30,901.98

AJLondon

Guys

As you can see i have just posted my SOA. The SOA is for my personal finances. Just to re-iterate the situation.

ALL of the House bills including Mortgage, Water, Electric, TV, Heating etc and Food is accounted for in a standing order from my account to the joint account I have with my OH. We both pay in £650.00 = £1300 a month is there to cover everything.

So my SOA doesn't include all that information just the basic 650.00 because everything is organised and covered by her.

So the rest of the details listed are all my own personal debts. This is how I want to keep it.

Just an update for you aswell to the reason why I am in this debt.

You will see my CC balance is now near its credit limit of 2450.00 thats because when I had my tesco loan money come through I paid 800.00 onto it, well I thought I did. When i got carried away gambling online I never accounted for it, so as a result the money didn't go onto my credit card... The balance is that high as I said before I was using it to take money out on it.. so its a nightmare..

Just to clarify about my loans. Halifax Loan (1) is over 5 years and Tesco Loan is over 5 years... Halifax Loan (2) is over 7 years!!!!

dumpy

AJLondon wrote: »

I know you aren't Dumps.. thank you.. Well the money I have would be for additional spending... which has made me realise what the hell am i spending my money on?.. With the help from you all on here I know I can pull my belt tight and struggle for a couple of months to get into a routine and then make a start on my long road from there...
...

Glad you took it the way I intended

Looking at your SOA you have loads left after bills so you need to find out where it goes.

Write down every single thing you buy. This will help you find out where the odd pound goes (and they do add up) Also you may find that by having to write it down it makes you think twice about buying the item.

Alwasy think do I need it or want it.

If you really need it, come back in two days, you may find that actually you just wanted it.


To give you an example of where money goes,

My ex had a coffee habit, visiting at least 2 cafes a day about £1 a go, so £1000 a year.

He also had lunch out most days in cafes, about another £1000 a year.

He went out with his mates once a week and got into rounds, £1040 ish a year.

£3000 a year on nothing......

AJLondon

Hi Dumpy

It all goes and will go on Loans.. the major worry I now have is my credit Card, because of the money i took out on it I am going to be faced with trying to pay it off and with only 192.00 to survive on for the month that will more than likley be the minimum payments.

I am starting to reevaluate everything as I am in such a mess. In the last two days I have spent £3.00. I only spent that as I had to pump up one of my tyres at the garage and it costs £1.00 a time. Put £1 in and the machine worked but not properly.. so had to go to a different one and spend another £1. I spent £1 yesterday on a bag of large chips at work as i took a tin of soup with me only to find that our works microwave had blown up .......:mad:

Just my luck at the moment...

All this debt has really got me down....I can't stand the thought of losing my OH... I have really let her down and myself down but I am not worried about me.. its her.. she doesn't deserve all this as she is my best friend and my partner and I can't face life without her...

You see, my original loan that is the payment of 394 had been consolidated three times previously. When I told her about the third time she was so upset...

To tell her what I have done and how I have got into this situation will break her heart...

jintyb

AJLondon wrote: »

Hi Dumpy


You see, my original loan that is the payment of 394 had been consolidated three times previously. When I told her about the third time she was so upset...

To tell her what I have done and how I have got into this situation will break her heart...

No, what will break her heart is her thinking everything is hunkydory when its not. That's what I'd be most mad at. Be brave and tell her - if she finds out by some other means it'll be even worse. Show some respect for her and do the decent thing. Sorry to be so harsh, but the thing most people hate in the world is being deceived. Think how you would feel if the tables were turned!

AJLondon

jintyb wrote: »

No, what will break her heart is her thinking everything is hunkydory when its not. That's what I'd be most mad at. Be brave and tell her - if she finds out by some other means it'll be even worse. Show some respect for her and do the decent thing. Sorry to be so harsh, but the thing most people hate in the world is being deceived. Think how you would feel if the tables were turned!

I know.... I am working late tonight till 2100... she is home by 1700 and will be in bed by 2200... I finish earlier tomorrow night but we are due to go to her folks for dinner....

I will tell her.......its going to have to be tonight....