Starting my DMP on 1st Feb... Anyone want to join me?

NaughtyMummy

true27 wrote: »

Will your DH really not understand? I really think you need his support. I completely understand your worries but the problem with tackling debts is that it has to be a whole family concern - believe me, I've tried to do it on my own and ended up having a nervous breakdown. Perhaps take a day off work when hubby isn't there, take a deep breath and make the call - or get an appointment with the CAB then you actually get to see a "real" person. The guys there are great, and they always have tissues just in case of meltdown . Perhaps having it all in black and white will make it easier for him to understand? I've got to be honest Loosing, but I think wherever you go, you are going to be advised to tell your hubby. Wish I could give you some concrete advice, but I just want to give you a hug and emergency hobnobs

I agree with true27, take a day off work if you can or go and see a "real" person.

newbeginning_2

losingbigtime - I can be the same when it comes to talking to people, but I did the CCCS online debt remedy thingy, and managed to set it all up online, then sent letters to the creditors. I haven't spoken to a single creditor yet, it's all been done either on line or through the post. It might not be the best way but it worked for me and my stress levels.

I did speak to CCCS last week, when I rang to set up the Direct Debit I had to speak with them about a problem with one creditor and the person I spoke to was lovely, and from what I've heard on here they're all as nice as each other.

Once you've looked into it all properly with CCCS, and can see how everything works then maybe you'll be able to speak to OH about this. If you have a joint mortgage then you do have to tell him I'm afraid, but tbh he probably has an inkling even if he doesn't know how bad things are.

Meanwhile have one of our dodgy hugs......:grouphug:

true27

Sorry Naughty and New, cross posted! Think you're totally on the ball though - really hope we can help you Loosing

nataz

Losing just had to say it isnt the end of the world. I know you feel like there is nothing between you and the deep blue see but trust me, its taken me sooo many years to overcome my fear, that we almost doubled our debts. Only by selling our house last year did we have to chance to take it all on without a nervous breakdown.
I too am responsible for all monies, only diff is both incomes go into one account. But is me who says if we can afford something or not, and unfortunately my self control had completely disappeared. DH was shocked at how much, cant deny it, and I think quite disappointed in me (I managed to blow his granny inheritance of 30K) so you're not alone in the disapproving circle.
My little piece of advice is write everything down, who you own, how much, acct numbers etc. Print off the budget if you did online. Once you know what your priority debts are you'll know what you've got left. Then please please ring CCCS or National Debt Line or go to your CAB. If you have everything in front of you, all you're doing on the phone is reading it to someone. You dont have to explain anything. You dont have to tell them how or why you are in this mess. All they want is the facts and figures. I remember reading somewhere that at the start you dont even have to give them your name. I too hate phones, Im such a texter but trust me you wont find anyone nicer to talk to.
Then once you have your head around it all, sit your OH down, give him a coffee and lay it all out for him. It doesnt have to be the end of everything. One thing that helped me was to look at it like a new beginning. A chance to wipe the slate clean and start again. The past ten years have taught me many things, but its what I we do from now on that truly matters. Money is just money. You have your son, your OH and your life. Ok that sounds sooo patronising I know but hey its a new year so why not

NaughtyMummy

nataz wrote: »

Losing just had to say it isnt the end of the world. I know you feel like there is nothing between you and the deep blue see but trust me, its taken me sooo many years to overcome my fear, that we almost doubled our debts. Only by selling our house last year did we have to chance to take it all on without a nervous breakdown.
I too am responsible for all monies, only diff is both incomes go into one account. But is me who says if we can afford something or not, and unfortunately my self control had completely disappeared. DH was shocked at how much, cant deny it, and I think quite disappointed in me (I managed to blow his granny inheritance of 30K) so you're not alone in the disapproving circle.
My little piece of advice is write everything down, who you own, how much, acct numbers etc. Print off the budget if you did online. Once you know what your priority debts are you'll know what you've got left. Then please please ring CCCS or National Debt Line or go to your CAB. If you have everything in front of you, all you're doing on the phone is reading it to someone. You dont have to explain anything. You dont have to tell them how or why you are in this mess. All they want is the facts and figures. I remember reading somewhere that at the start you dont even have to give them your name. I too hate phones, Im such a texter but trust me you wont find anyone nicer to talk to.
Then once you have your head around it all, sit your OH down, give him a coffee and lay it all out for him. It doesnt have to be the end of everything. One thing that helped me was to look at it like a new beginning. A chance to wipe the slate clean and start again. The past ten years have taught me many things, but its what I we do from now on that truly matters. Money is just money. You have your son, your OH and your life. Ok that sounds sooo patronising I know but hey its a new year so why not

Hear! Hear! thats how to explain things. Im soo rubbish at explaining !. I wish I came here in October last year!!:T

true27

Well said Nataz! Completely what I was trying to get at

VicB

Hi All!

Losing - I don't need to repeat what everyone else has said, they're completely right. CCCS are wonderful and will completely put your mind at rest. They hold your hand every step of the way. I did everything online with them, and eventually spoke to someone on the phone to query my DMP date and direct debits. You will feel 100x better once you've done it.

Just one question from me today - has anyone had problems cancelling standing orders? My HSBC loan (my highest creditor and old current account), won't let me cancel the standing order online??...HELP!! :eek:

I have changed all my details now so when they do come to take up the payment there won't be any money in there, but I know CCCS said to cancel it....I can't bear to speak to someone on the phone as I'm sure they won't do it (why would they?) Do you think the best thing to do is wait until the next payment (next week) bounces and see what they do? :eek::eek:

Hope you're all having a good Thursday

true27

VicB wrote: »

Just one question from me today - has anyone had problems cancelling standing orders? My HSBC loan (my highest creditor and old current account), won't let me cancel the standing order online??...HELP!! :eek:

Sounds daft, but is it defo a standing order? Are you trying to cancel it from the loan account end or the current account end?

VicB

true27 wrote: »

Sounds daft, but is it defo a standing order? Are you trying to cancel it from the loan account end or the current account end?

Yes, definitely a standing order. When I login to my online banking (I do everything with online banking), it shows my current account, loan and saving (which are zero! ), there's a section with 'Direct Debits & Standing Order' which I used to cancel the other DDs and when I hit cancel on SO, it say I can't do this online and need to call bla bla bla :eek:

I've never quite understood the difference between DD and SO??

true27

VicB wrote: »

Yes, definitely a standing order. When I login to my online banking (I do everything with online banking), it shows my current account, loan and saving (which are zero! ), there's a section with 'Direct Debits & Standing Order' which I used to cancel the other DDs and when I hit cancel on SO, it say I can't do this online and need to call bla bla bla :eek:

I've never quite understood the difference between DD and SO??

The difference between a DD and a SO is that the beneficiary of the DD has control over the payment (like your mortgage would automatically change if rates changed IYSWIM) and an SO is set and controlled by the sender (ie you). Can you amend the details of the SO to change the payment amount to 0 or something?