unbiased opinions plz

Caroline73_2

Lotus-eater wrote: »

LOL

Always makes me laugh on forums how quickly everyone tells the OP to "LEAVE NOW!"

When they nothing about the people in reality. Most of them don't even bother to read the posts properly.
Why don't you just put it in your sig. Leave now, he's a man, he will only hurt you.

I have too much respect for myself to be with a man that does care enough for me to keep it in his pants.

I've just found out that two of my friends cheated on their husbands. Personally I think both men are mugs for taking the women back.

Michelin

Lotus-eater wrote: »

LOL

Always makes me laugh on forums how quickly everyone tells the OP to "LEAVE NOW!"

When they nothing about the people in reality. Most of them don't even bother to read the posts properly.
Why don't you just put it in your sig. Leave now, he's a man, he will only hurt you.

I was thinking exactly that! Not every relationship breaks up after an affair or a one-night stand - nor should it automaticaly be over.

toniq

If he has come clean, off his own doing, I would maybe try and work things out,

They may have been drinking and one thing led to another scenario.......

If this happened in November, and nothing has happened since and she is blackmailing him, It might just be the sticky end of a relationship that hadn't properly run it's couse.

If he has shown u his phone and the texts are all one sided since November then if it was me i would maybe set some ground rules and put it in the past.

You have to work at a relationship, and no u shouldn't condone cheating, but nothing is ever black and white,
It seems he wants to move his life along with you and it was a moment of madness that ended up with him bedding his ex,

at least in his clarity he confessed to u, that must have been a very hard thing to do, knowing he could lose u.( Honesty- him confessing knowing he could lose u was the right thing for him to do, as u would rather that than find out yourself, then know u have a guy that is able too hide and lie about things)

You need to see through the anger and see if u can imagine a future with him or not, If it is a situation that will eat away at u and u will constantly throw in his face then it isn't worth salvaging as that will lead to bitterness and too much hurt.

Good luck xxxxxx

Pollycat

Lotus-eater wrote: »

LOL

Always makes me laugh on forums how quickly everyone tells the OP to "LEAVE NOW!"

When they nothing about the people in reality. Most of them don't even bother to read the posts properly.
Why don't you just put it in your sig. Leave now, he's a man, he will only hurt you.

Not everyone, Lotus-eater. see my post below which pre-dated yours. :rolleyes:

I'm assuming you mean 'when they know nothing about the people in reality'.
We can only go on what the OP tells us, when asking for unbiased advice.

Pollycat wrote: »

newcastlebelle
only you can know if you can forgive him and trust him again.

He will always have this link to his ex-wife through his daughter, he will give her away when she gets married, he will be grandfather to any children she has etc.
How exactly is he using his daughter as a hold over him?

Has he said WHY he slept with his wife?
Was he drunk?
Was it the only time?
Did he use protection? :eek:

Was he going to keep it a secret from you until his ex-wife decided to blackmail him?
You say 'you've just found out that he slept with his ex-wife' - did he confess or did she tell you?

If she phones him 15 to 20 times a day, why doesn't he change his phone number?
Is he secretly relishing this contact with his ex-wife?

I've not given you an unbiased opinion, just a few points to consider and questions to think about.

mouseymousey99

Only you really know if you want to continue the relationship or not. Things do happen. Can you fogive? Will your friends/family put pressure on you/him? Never a good idea to tell them too much (in my humble). I'm with my partner now for 10yrs (everyone said it wouldn't last etc).
Its your life hon.
Could you both move on (maybe physcally too and put some distance btwn old ground)?
Best wishes.

angelsmomma

newcastlebelle wrote: »

has changed home number once and mobile twice, but she still gets them as he speaks to his daughter every day

he told me

I don't understand this, sorry. Why does he have to talk to her on the phone at all?.

I have a really bad relationship with my ex and hated him phoning me to have a go at me wherever I was.

We have a son and an access order in place so I do have to have contact with him for arrangments, to do this I have a seperate cheap mobile payg phone, and my son talks to his dad and sends texts on that.

No one else has the number and I keep it in the house so it is not disturbing me if I am out.

We also email so that contact between us is minimal.

Lotus-eater

Pollycat wrote: »

Not everyone, Lotus-eater. see my post below which pre-dated yours. :rolleyes:

I'm assuming you mean 'when they know nothing about the people in reality'.
We can only go on what the OP tells us, when asking for unbiased advice.

Bit pedantic aren't we today?

Add in "almost" and "know" if it makes you feel better.

xmaslolly76

Personally i couldnt put up with it and he would be out the door however a friend of mine was in a simliar situation and found her new partner had slept with his ex and they managed to get through it and are very happy together now and have a new baby. At the end of the day only you can decide if you can forgive him and trust that it wont happen again.

I hope everything works out well what ever you decide :-) x

Pollycat

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Bit pedantic aren't we today?

Add in "almost" and "know" if it makes you feel better.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

LOL

Always makes me laugh on forums how quickly everyone tells the OP to "LEAVE NOW!"

When they nothing about the people in reality. Most of them don't even bother to read the posts properly.
Why don't you just put it in your sig. Leave now, he's a man, he will only hurt you.

Pedantic?

Probably as pedantic as you were judgemental to the earlier posters.

Lotus-eater

Pollycat wrote: »

Pedantic?

Probably as pedantic as you were judgemental to the earlier posters.

I was laughing at other people being judgemental, are you too thick to see that?