How do I persuade DS(age 10) that TV isn't a participation activity ?

Curious_George_2

easy wrote: »

Do they do a competition for "Best helicopter pilot of 2010" then ?

they will if someone suggests it to Simon Cowell...

CoopCooper

easy wrote: »

Coop, he gets tonnes of opportunities to explore his thoughts and opinions, generally whenever the TV is not switched on (and it is never on during the daytime, generally never before 7:30 p.m. at the earliest).
That's one of the reasons we enjoy having dinner together as a family round the table every day, to have lots of discussions.

Ok fair enough.

So here's some options.

A) TV of his own. Up - it'll give you a chance to watch TV in silence. Down - It stops being a family activity. You'll probably never see him out of his room again.

Sky+ - Up - stopping so you don't miss anything. You can watch it again if needed. Down - It could take you 5hrs to watch each show. Paying extra to SKY.

C) Put up with it with the occassional telling off. Up - Chat can be better than TV, even when the TV is on. Down - Not much fun for you trying to watch something. Not much fun for him being told off (and it won't change him)

My parents opted for C) then A) I think.

(As an aside - I wouldn't necessarily agree with anyone linking talking during TV with poor performance at school.)

Curlywurli

Could he be doing it on purpose to annoy you so much that you buy him his own tv so you can watch it in peace?

Savvy_Sue

I have to say that one of our best investments was a DVD recorder which lets you watch while you're still recording. It's now been upgraded to an HD recorder with Freeview tuner, but we can record Virgin channels as well.

So you realise your programme is about to start but you're still faffing around making tea etc, so you record it and start watching at your convenience. If there are adverts, you may catch up.

But you can stop at any time and wind back to catch what you just missed.

I think that would be my answer. Yes, it may take 5 hours to watch one episode of Dr Who, but he may realise that it's not a lot of fun doing it that way and talk less. You never know ...

I know Sky+ would do the same, but we don't have that!

frostyspice

CoopCooper wrote: »

(As an aside - I wouldn't necessarily agree with anyone linking talking during TV with poor performance at school.)

I have children (who would like to interrupt TV progs frequently!) and I also teach children of the OP's son's age. There are some children in my class who seem to find it extremely difficult not to interrupt all the time, whether it be me, their friends, their parents or indeed the TV on the few occasions we have used it at school. I believe that not only does it reduce their ability to learn, but that of those around them.

It certainly comes across that they believe that their contribution is (1)valuable enough to be heard, whatever it is, and (2) must be heard NOW!

I do think that the OP sounds like a fab parent and is to be congratulated on trying to find a solution to this problem. Too many of the other posters have suggested ways of managing it involving things like Sky+ (a recent invention!) rather than ways which involve the child changing his behaviour and learning to respect others' wishes. OK, this is what lots of ten-year-olds do, but that's no reason to accept it.

I would treat this as you would any other unwanted behaviour, however long it takes. In my house it would be warning, second warning, sanction. I would also explain exactly why I did not like the interruption. You're doing him a favour - he will learn to respect others and also think before he speaks. The latter is a HUGE gift that most of us are still working on!

And as for the 'own TV in room' business suggested by someone - this is a slippery slope and you would understand why if you worked in a primary school. Lack of sleep, unsupervised viewing of programmes which frighten, worry or disturb children (yes - they tell us teachers about this!) and frankly, too much too young. But that's for another thread.

easy

frostyspice wrote: »

I have children (who would like to interrupt TV progs frequently!) and I also teach children of the OP's son's age. There are some children in my class who seem to find it extremely difficult not to interrupt all the time, whether it be me, their friends, their parents or indeed the TV on the few occasions we have used it at school. I believe that not only does it reduce their ability to learn, but that of those around them.

It certainly comes across that they believe that their contribution is (1)valuable enough to be heard, whatever it is, and (2) must be heard NOW!

I do think that the OP sounds like a fab parent and is to be congratulated on trying to find a solution to this problem. Too many of the other posters have suggested ways of managing it involving things like Sky+ (a recent invention!) rather than ways which involve the child changing his behaviour and learning to respect others' wishes. OK, this is what lots of ten-year-olds do, but that's no reason to accept it.

I would treat this as you would any other unwanted behaviour, however long it takes. In my house it would be warning, second warning, sanction. I would also explain exactly why I did not like the interruption. You're doing him a favour - he will learn to respect others and also think before he speaks. The latter is a HUGE gift that most of us are still working on!

And as for the 'own TV in room' business suggested by someone - this is a slippery slope and you would understand why if you worked in a primary school. Lack of sleep, unsupervised viewing of programmes which frighten, worry or disturb children (yes - they tell us teachers about this!) and frankly, too much too young. But that's for another thread.

frostyspice THANK YOU, for understanding this problem, and for saying I sound like a fab parent :rotfl:

As you say, I do think it's important that DS learns to listen when appropriate, both for learning reasons at school, and just as a matter of respect to others.

I vowed that my child would not have a TV in his bedroom, and intend to hold fast to that, at least until he can earn money to buy his own. He has grown to be a very keen, avid, and fluent reader, a fact which I partly attribute to the fact that he reads in bed at night, has done from the age of 3 (us reading to him, then with him, now reading alone). I think having a TV in his room would dilute that, for starters.

We do have V+, which we use to time-shift the programmes we want to see. That along with iPlayer means that we do get to see/hear those programmes we want to, but many of the Natural History and Science programmes are educational as well as being interesting, and I want DS to have the benefit of those.


We SHALL persevere !!