How do I persuade DS(age 10) that TV isn't a participation activity ?

nickyhutch

chloe99 wrote: »

I know it would be very annoying if you really wanted to see the program, but i would have thought that any healthy 10yr olds idea of watching tv together would include talking about what they are seeing. Surely this is much better than a passive watcher who just sits there in a stupor trying to recover from his day?

If you are watching together as family time then his wish to talk is very important. If you want to watch it in peace then either watch without him or record for another time/day. If you want family viewing, then in my view, this is exactly what you are getting!!

Exactly! SUre;y it's only natural to want to talk about what you're watching? We all do it here (40, 40 and 15). I'd be more worried if he sat ther saying nothing.

Savvy_Sue

There's making a quick point, and talking right over and through it so that no-one else can hear what's being said.

Like last night, "that's about as much of BBC period drama as I can take" said very loudly when they realised I was watching Lark Rise. Well no-one ASKED them to watch it! Fortunately I was recording it too, against this eventuality.

Sub-titles might help, because you might be able to keep following what's being said even if you can't hear it that well.

And talking back might help too, to get across that it can be very distracting!

But my older 2 are pretty good as we never had TV when they were younger, they were always absolutely silent while watching. Youngest not quite so good ...

chloe99_2

yes it is annoying but i dont think we can really expect a 10yr old to demonstrate his interest in something in the same way as an adult. Children function differently to adults and I dont really see tv watching time as the time to be teaching lessons about how to be quiet.

easy

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

There's making a quick point, and talking right over and through it so that no-one else can hear what's being said.

Sur I don't mind the odd comment, but he tends to start a diatribe.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Sub-titles might help, because you might be able to keep following what's being said even if you can't hear it that well.

I'm going to give them a try, but I tend to find those distracting in themselves. Can't bear foreign films cos of that

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And talking back might help too, to get across that it can be very distracting!

No, DH will end up throttling us both if I try that !!!

jackomk

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

The bloke does this. The kids do too. But only ever when I want to watch something.

I usually try to ignore it/put subtitles on, but bloke says subtitles are ignorant (bit rich considering he uses an amplifier or has the TV on mega loud), it completely destroys the programme to have to tell them repeatedly that I am watching a programme (possibly 3 in a week would be a lot for me to watch) and if I don't reply to the bloke's inane comments (or he doesn't hear the reply - usually 'yep'), he repeats it at least five times and shouts 'HELLO?' at me.

Jeez...are we with the same man ????:rotfl:

Curious_George_2

if my OH or DD have seen something im about to watch i have to tell them both to shut up...
it wouldnt be the first time one or both of them have ruined a good film with repeated comments like "WATCH THIS BIT....i LOVE this bit" "oh this bit was really funny" or making sure ive picked up on a previous plot point thats about to resurface just so i find the next joke as funny as they did...
i often dont BECAUSE of the comments!

My 9 1/2 year old DD also uses 50 words when 4 would do it, she talks ALL the time and rarely about anything in particular... it drives me up the wall,

im sure we all work as hard as we can to be good parents, to spend time doing worthwhile things with them etc so its not about spending more time with the precious child or that we should all sit back and listen in wonder each time they open their mouths for fear of missing their childhood,
but that some times... just sometimes 5 minutes peace would be nice, and if that happens to coincide with the one half decent programme thats on a week then thats even better!

Humphrey10

I really feel for you OP, I can't stand it when people talk constantly through TV or cinema. When children do it it's bad, when adults do it it's even worse - either watch the TV or go somewhere else!

Sorry for the rant but I find this so annoying. I can't why anyone would think being able to pay attention to something would be a bad thing, from the replies on this thread it seems that people think it is! I'd have thought it was better to watch TV together as a family paying attention (not in silence, but not talking the whole way through) than have to watch it all in separate rooms if you want to follow what's going on?

If a child never learns to be quiet and pay attention when watching TV or films how are they going to cope when they go to uni and are in halls/ a shared house, do they want to be known as 'the irritating one who won't shut up'? We had someone like that in halls at uni, the result was she was never invited round to anyone's room to watch TV, no-one went to her room and watched TV with her, and no-one wanted to share a house with her.

OP you could try sending him out of the room for a bit if he won't be quiet? Does he have ADHD or similar, it might be that he does actually find being still and quiet very difficult, and he isn't just trying to be irritating?

Georgiabay

I'd record the programme and just pause it to discuss anything.
You also get the added advantage of being able to fast forward through the adverts.

I can't get on with sub titles. My daughter often has them on, but I find I'm missing the action and can't stop saying "That's not what they said" (although you won't have that problem if you can't hear it).

easy

Humphrey10 wrote: »

I really feel for you OP, I can't stand it when people talk constantly through TV or cinema. When children do it it's bad, when adults do it it's even worse - either watch the TV or go somewhere else!

Sorry for the rant but I find this so annoying. I can't why anyone would think being able to pay attention to something would be a bad thing, from the replies on this thread it seems that people think it is! I'd have thought it was better to watch TV together as a family paying attention (not in silence, but not talking the whole way through) than have to watch it all in separate rooms if you want to follow what's going on?

If a child never learns to be quiet and pay attention when watching TV or films how are they going to cope when they go to uni and are in halls/ a shared house, do they want to be known as 'the irritating one who won't shut up'? We had someone like that in halls at uni, the result was she was never invited round to anyone's room to watch TV, no-one went to her room and watched TV with her, and no-one wanted to share a house with her.

OP you could try sending him out of the room for a bit if he won't be quiet? Does he have ADHD or similar, it might be that he does actually find being still and quiet very difficult, and he isn't just trying to be irritating?

I agree that it is a skill DS needs to acquire. It doesn't just relate to TV after all, it relates to lectures and so forth too.

He isn't that he is trying to be irritating either. He just has something to say, and it just kind of HAS to come out now, immediately. I'm trying very hard to point out to him that the world doesn't revolve around him, and we don't HAVE to have the benefit of his opinion everytime a thought crosses his mind....

Curious_George wrote: »

im sure we all work as hard as we can to be good parents, to spend time doing worthwhile things with them etc so its not about spending more time with the precious child or that we should all sit back and listen in wonder each time they open their mouths for fear of missing their childhood,
but that some times... just sometimes 5 minutes peace would be nice, and if that happens to coincide with the one half decent programme thats on a week then thats even better!

Hear Hear :j:T:T:T

tiamai_d

Duck tape has crossed my mind at times :cool:

It's the phone on my house rather than tv. They can be sitting quietly playing and as soon as the phone rings, they fight or have to tell me something VERY IMPORTANT at the top of their lungs and right then! Then as soon as I hang up, the are quiet again...