How do I persuade DS(age 10) that TV isn't a participation activity ?

bank_of_slate

As some have suggested this is the beauty of the V+ and Sky+ systems, if it's something we really want to watch, we'll put it on when it's 'live', watch it as a family and let him get all his little comments out of his system etc.

Then if we really want to watch it we'll watch it properly when he goes to bed or is in his pit playing on his playstation
...Linda xx

Lotus-eater

My 6 year old is exactly the same. Unless it's spongebob then she's dead quiet
Sometimes I give up and turn the TV off and do something with her instead, play chess, or another game, often it's just interaction with you she wants anyway.
Sometimes I'll just talk to her over the tv, sometimes I'll turn the sound off, or I'll stop the program on sky+ (if I really want to watch it) and start it again when all of the questions are answered.

In the end I usually end up thinking (after being annoyed), if I miss this program, in a years time will I care? But if I miss this time with my child, in a years time will I care?

easy

Lotus-eater wrote: »

if I miss this program, in a years time will I care? But if I miss this time with my child, in a years time will I care?

Lotus-eater, I understand (and substantially agree with ) this sentiment entirely.

BUT

a) We do spend LOADS of time doing other things with him
b) DS is 10 now, no longer a little child
c) We are watching things HE wants to watch. We're not trying to make him shut up and be bored just cos WE want to watch something
d) How the hell will he get on in class at secondary school, if he can't grasp the idea that there are times when it isn't appropriate for him to chat away?

Lotus-eater

easy wrote: »

Lotus-eater, I understand (and substantially agree with ) this sentiment entirely.

BUT

a) We do spend LOADS of time doing other things with him
b) DS is 10 now, no longer a little child
c) We are watching things HE wants to watch. We're not trying to make him shut up and be bored just cos WE want to watch something
d) How the hell will he get on in class at secondary school, if he can't grasp the idea that there are times when it isn't appropriate for him to chat away?

I thought you might jump to the conclusion that I was accusing you of not spending enough time with him.

I wasn't, which is why I said "I" thought about those things, just because I do

Gingham_Ribbon

No way my kids will watch anything quietly! Neither do we. It's one of the reasons we don't watch tv. We watch what we want to see on DVD and pause it while we're talking. It can take us an hour to watch a 20 minute programme.

If we're interested in something, there's loads to talk about and the kids are no different. I'd record it so we could pause it to answer questions.

Gingham_Ribbon

easy wrote: »

d) How the hell will he get on in class at secondary school, if he can't grasp the idea that there are times when it isn't appropriate for him to chat away?

Yup. This is a concern. My son's teacher gives out stickers for reaching targets and one is being quiet when asked. It took him a while to get the idea. She loves his enthusiasm though and 'gets' that it's hard to stop asking questions when you're bursting to know the answers. If he's the same, some rewards for being able to sit quietly might work, but also a pen and paper to write down the questions might help?

Lotus-eater

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

No way my kids will watch anything quietly! Neither do we. It's one of the reasons we don't watch tv. We watch what we want to see on DVD and pause it while we're talking. It can take us an hour to watch a 20 minute programme.

I have to say, if I really want to watch something short, like a bit on the news or the weather, I shout loudly and tell everyone to shut up..... then repeat it a few times when they start talking again

Oooo, I also use the subtitles alot, keep half an eye on the tv and half on DD or DW, or even DS (he's only lickle though and not talking over my tv yet, just gurgling and being sick through it ) Tell you what, these helicopter pilots have got nothing on me, one eye on subtitles, one on the chess games with DD and one on DS to check he hasn't choked on his banana.

Lotus-eater

easy wrote: »

d) How the hell will he get on in class at secondary school, if he can't grasp the idea that there are times when it isn't appropriate for him to chat away?

Another way of looking at it......

At my DD's school she is known for being a talker, but they control her well and she is now no worse than the other girls I think.

That does mean that she comes home bursting, wanting to talk my ears off.

Somehow the pressure has to be let out.

Errata

I still do it and I'm a pensioner :eek: Why are people expected to be passive consumers of telly programs ? It's a laugh riot in my house when sports and reality programs are on, everyone gives a running commentary

The TV program has yet to be produced that is more interesting than speech from a real human being in the house.

jinky67

I guess you could look on it as him showing an interest and it being an educational discussion