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How do I persuade DS(age 10) that TV isn't a participation activity ?
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Posts: 2,533 Forumite
DS is 10. Now he is older, there are times when we want to sit down and watch a program all together (Merlin, some of Jimmy Doherty's programs, a Horizon that was on last week about dogs, etc etc etc).
The problem is that DS CAN'T shut up. It seems he has to keep chipping in with comments,his opinion, anecdotes that relate to what is going on in the programme, and so forth.
I have tried to explain to him that we want to HEAR what is going on, and we can discuss the programme afterwards. We try 'shush', 'PLEASE be Quiet', I look at him hard with my finger to my mouth, but so often it ends up with DH getting cross, and shouting at DS, or even sending him to bed.
Now he is generally a VERY chatty child. Always had problems with talking in class. But this is just getting ridiculous.
He just about manages if we go to the cinema/theatre (altho if it doesn't REALLY grip him, he will do a lot of whispering in my/dh's ear).
But there MUST be way to get this incessant talking under control.
The problem is that DS CAN'T shut up. It seems he has to keep chipping in with comments,his opinion, anecdotes that relate to what is going on in the programme, and so forth.
I have tried to explain to him that we want to HEAR what is going on, and we can discuss the programme afterwards. We try 'shush', 'PLEASE be Quiet', I look at him hard with my finger to my mouth, but so often it ends up with DH getting cross, and shouting at DS, or even sending him to bed.
Now he is generally a VERY chatty child. Always had problems with talking in class. But this is just getting ridiculous.
He just about manages if we go to the cinema/theatre (altho if it doesn't REALLY grip him, he will do a lot of whispering in my/dh's ear).
But there MUST be way to get this incessant talking under control.
I try not to get too stressed out on the forum. I won't argue, i'll just leave a thread if you don't like what I say. 
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I look forward to other people's advice as I have the same with my 12 year old dd!0
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Don't have kids myself, so no personal experience, but have you tried explaining that watching things is quiet time and you can discuss the program afterwards or in advertisement breaks and then totally ignoring him if he starts chatting during the program? He'll end up chatting to himself and will hopefully get bored? I know it seems a little harsh, but if it takes this approach to get him to realise that it's unacceptable then perhaps it's worth a try?
As I say, no kids myself so not sure if this is a silly idea or not!Thrilled to be DEBT-FREE as of 26.03.10
Hubby DEBT-FREE as of 27.03.15
Debt at LBM (June '07): £8189.190 -
My DD (9) is the same. Except she loves to give the plot away if she has seen the movie/program.
Maybe it is an age thing?I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed. Booker T Washington
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Surely talking to and with your children is just as important as watching the TV program? Why not record it so you can watch it when he is not around?0
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HAve this sometimes at home.
Do you have Sky plus? We tend to stop the program the minute they start talking, wait, then ask 'have you finished' and restart. Repeat for as long as you need to and the message does start to get through (in our house!).
Then like others suggested, tell them you will have a chat in the ads/break etc.
Is a bit tedious at first though!Now proud Mumto3 :j0 -
Is this your first child?Blackpool_Saver is female, and does not live in Blackpool0
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Aw bless him, I think I was just the same!
I suppose if you want to change his behaviour then go down the punishment / reward thing. Explain to him that the second he starts talking then he goes out of the room for X minutes, no questions asked. If he gets through X minutes without talking then he gets a reward of some sort.
TBH I don't like the idea that familes have to sit and watch something in silence but I suppose he is at an age where he needs to learn he can't just talk over everything and needs to have some consideration for other people. Do you have sky plus while you're 'training' him
ETA - oops, cross posted with just about everyone!0 -
loves to give the plot away if she has seen the movie/program.
Yep, he does this too. I want to watch the most recent Indiana Jones film, but will need to do it after bedtime one night, cos he's watched the DVD about 3 times, and will just keep telling us what is about to happen.I try not to get too stressed out on the forum. I won't argue, i'll just leave a thread if you don't like what I say.0 -
Good luck, cos nothing worked with my DS who is now 17
We just answered his constant questions and gave up watching:rotfl::heartpulsOnce a Flylady, always a Flylady:heartpuls0 -
nearlyrich wrote: »Surely talking to and with your children is just as important as watching the TV program? Why not record it so you can watch it when he is not around?
That would be why my children don't have TVs in their bedrooms!
Being with the children and watching a programme shouldn't have to be mutually exclusive0
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