Debt Free by 40 Debt Diary

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

I do feel that it is like we are travelling along next to each other but on rail tracks that rarely come together.

I would disagree with that. They meet every time he wants to freeload from you.

oakdale_minx wrote:

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take the grief to be honest, especially after the last few months from Cruella.

To be honest though I'm not sure how much longer we will last anyway and if we do split, then I'll be in a position to re-look at everything financially.

sorry, you're all probably thinking badly of me now......

No one thinks badly of you. Most people give their all to try to make a relationship last. Sometimes though, you've got to accept, that the person you are with is doing you no good at all. Sometimes through no fault of their own - the two people involved are just incompatible. Of course sometimes it's through a very definite fault.

But do what is right - not what is comfortable.

oakdale_minx

Thankyou for all your lovely comments. I was thinking last night that I wish you were physically here with me, I know then I could do it!!

I joined Moozie's Sunday to Friday challenge for the first time ever yesterday. I've got food, petrol, no bills to pay so I've given myself a budget of £10.

Funny how knowing I have a limited amount of money I have the urge to spend! I almost popped out and got a bottle of wine yesterday, even though I had cider in the fridge, I almost bought a mascara just so I could get some free lancome eyeshadow (seen on the Grabbit MSE board and I didn't even really like the eyeshadow colours!) and then (gulp) I got as far as putting my card details in for a hamper of food from John Lewis because it was reduced from £150 to £45 (again on the Grabbit board!) I just managed to bring myself to my senses and remembered that I don't like crab mousse and that I didn't need any of the other items in the hamper!

Phew - close one!

polki

Good morning OM

Well done for resisting the "bargains". I think you deserve a treat, but please spend on something you really want.

I foresee a MSE day out to your neck of the woods soon. Look out for the coaches pulling up outside!

Have a good day.

Bunnyinthelights

Hi OM!
How are things in your world today?
I hope you don't think I was too harsh about your OH, it just upsets me to hear how unsupportive he seems to be when you've done so well.
Hope Cruella has a huge boil on her a$$.
Bunny x

oakdale_minx

oooooh, I've just been very brave. The Abbey hadn't replied to any of my 5 emails or the voicemail I left Friday night about the missing interest on my claim and my (cheeky) claim for preparation time. So I phoned her!

She was great. She was grateful I had called as they have problems reciving yahoo emails and hadn't been passed the voicemail message. She is calculating the missing interest now. I think it will be around £100. I took a deep breath and asked about preparation time. She felt my claim for 35 hours per claim was a little high but was willing to offer on the phone 12 hours per claim at a rate of £9.50 per hour.

That'll do me! That should be around a total of £320+ extra I will be getting!

I also phoned the Citi solicitor but he wouldn't budge and they will be attending. Not a problem, if they want to keep wasting agency solicitors fees to defend a claim for £375!

I've transferred the £46 quidco money sitting in my paypal account to my bank for my holiday beer money. With the £33 I already had set aside for it, that is £79 so far. i'm going to put next months Council Tax payment with it as it is a 'free month' in March, so that will be £165 I will have. I will also check out if the water is paid in March and if not I will have a nice round £200to change to euros !

Bunny - no, I don't think you were harsh at all

I hope she has a big boil on her !!! as well as she had to sit on a train all the way to London today! She phoned me at 8.15 this morning and was sickly sweet and nice........hhmmm........too late to feel guilty cruella......

ZTD

oakdale_minx wrote:

I hope she has a big boil on her !!! as well as she had to sit on a train all the way to London today! She phoned me at 8.15 this morning and was sickly sweet and nice........hhmmm........too late to feel guilty cruella......

I doubt she's feeling guilty, but she may have spent last night examining *exactly* which side of the bread the butter is on.

She may turn on the charm offensive to get you to accept the trial.

chardonnay_2

hi again, i finally got to the end of the thread. wow- you have been through it but i'm glad things seem to be on the up:j

you have done so well and deserved the car due to all your extra hard work.

i too had a cruella :eek: but unfortunately i wasn't strong enough to deal with her or take it further due to other stressors in my life. please if you do end up being made redundant or get redeployment /new job make sure you go after her by formal greviance - she needs a black mark on her copy sheet :mad:

so glad to hear about your success with the bank charges so far. might even inspire me to sort out & take my remaining ones all the way to court.

do you really want to spend a week with your selfish OH on holiday? if not, why not dump him, and change the name on the ticket to a friend or your sister. he doesn't deserve you. you want to be debt free by 40, do you not also want to be free of your relationship limpet :rolleyes: by 40 or sooner

forgot to say big well done on getting rid of all your unsecured debt in so quick a time - you are an inspiration and i have loved reading your thread

polki

oakdale_minx wrote:

I hope she has a big boil on her !!! as well as she had to sit on a train all the way to London today!


One on each cheek would be better!

She phoned me at 8.15 this morning and was sickly sweet and nice........hhmmm........too late to feel guilty cruella............

I remember hearing the saying "Too sweet to be nice".

Well done with Abbey. Keep up the good work - you are doing so well.

angelavdavis

ZTD wrote:

No one thinks badly of you. Most people give their all to try to make a relationship last. Sometimes though, you've got to accept, that the person you are with is doing you no good at all. Sometimes through no fault of their own - the two people involved are just incompatible. Of course sometimes it's through a very definite fault.

But do what is right - not what is comfortable.

Hope you are well OH and keeping strong! Great news about Abbey.

I agree with ZTD (as expressed before!) He is a leech - I attract them too so am an expert and can smell them a mile away :rotfl: , though luckily for the first time in my life I have someone who actually isn't like that now.

He is dragging you down and unlikely to offer much in way of support over the next few months when you will need it.

Why don't you treat yourself to an evening class or club that will widen your circle of friends and continue to rebuild your self-image. You can spare a little money every week on yourself - something you can cheaply source the "gear" for like art or sewing, etc. Even if you can't draw, most colleges do art for the terrified type courses (!) Many are starting again in March.

Make the most of your confidence and start getting out there. It will also help you build up some friends who could support you during the tougher times (obviously, along with us of course!)

If you are not physically sitting around every night, OH is unlikely to hang around and so if he really cares and starts missing you (and not just the free dinners, pc access, and someone to take out his bad moods on), he will make an effort and offer to take you out for the evening.

When was the last time he said "How do you fancy a meal out - my shout?"

oakdale_minx

unfortunately I can't take anyone else on holiday as it was my Christmas present to him! To be honest, i'm not that bothered about going.

I've had my email as promised from the Abbey. I will be getting the correct interest paid to me as well as preparation time for each claim. There should be £349 being paid into my account any time this morning!! :beer:

I was a bit naughty yesterday. I got a call from Thorntons to say the mega reduced christmas hamper was over sold and I was one of the 23 who had missed out. I was offered a full refund or an alternative. I went for the alternative and chose loads of lovely chocolate when I should probably have gone for the refund....:o