depression

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

Is it bad that one person seems to hold the key to a vast majority of my happiness?

IMHO, fg, yes! I think part of our recovery has to include us learning how to make ourselves feel better. And yes, believe me, I do know that it's easier said than done. If we put people up on a pedestal, we get hurt when they can't live up to our expectations. We have to find a way of being the one to make ourselves happy, then everyone else is a bonus.
Much love
Tiff x

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

I know what you mean, although i'm not looking for love, I am open to it for the 1st time in ages. Ideally, we'd be good friends and I could help her not get used. If anything else happens, then we'll deal with that when it comes, but with my past, i'm not thinking about that, as realistically, she's far too good for me, She's been asking about me apparently My flatmate says she's genuine when she says she cares but she's very nervous and my flatmate is going to suggest we all meet together at first, so there is less pressure on us both. She will suggest it on Sunday when they meet. She thinks we will both be good for each other, but wants us to build up slowly. She reckons this girl is really friendly and caring........hope so

I'm not eating much, although flatmate is pestering me. Sleeping is erratic at best.

Sunday I should find out. Even if she is willing to meet up, i'm dreading it not being for a while, whilst she gets used to the idea

Hi - you have to try and eat or the first thing this girl will see you do is faint! Thank God for your flatmate - she really does look after you doesn't she? The sleeping and eating thing is probably the depression Miroslav.
Instead of holding your breath until Sunday angel, try and remember slow is good - gives you the best chance of success. So start planningfor the days after Sunday hun - and make dreams for the future either with or without her - just a little daydream can sometimes come true - this way you'll always have a plan b. Good Luck.
Tiff x

Tiff_2

bettyboop61 wrote:

:hello: Just wanted to say Hi to everyone, Rose, Tiff, Fliss, Mrs A, Miroslav, Slayerx,and everyone else I have missed and Hi to all the newcomers. So Sorry to hear alot of you have terrible colds, it must be the change in the weather:rolleyes: Things have not been good for me for a while and I have really struggled today, rang to speak to my CPN and she was off today, so asked to speak to the back up CPN and she is off to, I felt really panicky because I have been having terrible thoughts today, I'm on my own tonight because my OH is away working and will not be back till tomorrow night, my olkdest son is working away too and my youngest son is working till midnight :eek: I have been trying to keep busy, to stop my mind from working overtime, but I must confess, I just had to go cut myself and now I feel ashamed that I gave into it aaaarrrggghhh.

I'm sorry for going on, its not helping anybody on here is it, I'll shut up and go away now.

Here's hoping for a better day for all of us tomorrow.
Love and hugsssss to you all

Betty

Hi Betty,
Oh hun, if you feel like that again, please post on here - someone is always passing through the thread to help. Do you have a Crisis Team in your area? That's who you should turn to if your CPN isn't around and you feel like this.
Even though it's hard, telling the receptionist what you were thinking of doing would have gotten you help from someone there. Sometimes it feels impossible, but if we don't let them know how bad it is, they can assume it's something that can wait.
And don't shut up Betty - that's what gets us into those situations. You open up whenever you want to.
Much Love
Tiff.

Tiff_2

gamma wrote:

I all this is my first post here, not really sure if I'm depressed but it seems to be all due to my ex bf..

Feelinggood : It's so true what you say how one person seems to hold the key to our happiness?

Background:
Met this guy who I've been seeing for the last year and a bit - he was a real b*st*Rd during our relationship cheating three times once with his old ex. Me driving him there to get his stuff, 3 hours away and a slap through the face for the privilage. hey ho!

I forgave him but we split up 3 months ago, in this time we've gone from not speaking to speaking to getting back together to splitting up and now he is seeing someone else.

The last week or so he's been over at my place a couple of times and we've been getting on really well effectively he's now cheating on his new boyfriend with me! I know it's terrible of me but I now feel that I want him back..

I've spoken to him tonight and I've in no certain terms told him I think we should get back together but he doesn't want to saying he's with the other guy now. ( are you keeping up did you gather were all guys ?:) )

Anyway I feel realllly down now and just thought I'd share, further more my housemate and best friend has now told me that its my own fault he's given me his advice and I've chosen not to use it and although I know this, it's just so difficult to cut all ties etc etc.

So 'feelinggood' the question is should we really be putting our happiness in the hands of others?

Hi gamma - welcome - come on in.
Whoever you are, you can get hurt - preferences have nothing to do with it does it hun?
Again, thank God for your housemate- he cares or he wouldn't give you advice. I don't know hun but for my 2p worth, he's treated you badly before and it's obvious that he's kept his spots! No change here angel really, is there?
Doesn't stop it hurting though. Of course you're still going to have feelings for him or it wouldn't be an on/off relationship and angel without wanting to hurt you, that's all you've got with him.
I'm sure you know the rest, you deserve better, there's plenty more fish etc., etc.,....but now it's time to get up, get spruced up, get out and hang a sign on the door on your way out saying,
"Gone Fishin'!"
Much Love Tiff x

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

Right.........

My flatmate has suggested to me that, the pair of us and this girl, all meet together for coffee in town, so we can all mingle together and we can meet each other in a no pressure situation. She will suggest it to this girl on Sunday.

She has been asking about me though Flatmate says she's scared and nervous as she doesn't understand why I don't want a date or anything more than friendship as she's never had a male who wants just friendship, but she's told my flatmate she cares about me, but isn't sure about meeting me if I want to be friends.

I'm reading that as she wants sex if she's gonna meet I'm good looking ( :rotfl: apparently) but men use her, because she's over friendly and then when they discover she's had mental health issues, they dump her, or use her for money (she gets a fair bit for her 'illness' ) abuse her mentally and physically, sometimes really bad, and as she takes alot of medication to keep her level headed so to speak, they all think she's a 'freak'

To look at her, she looks just like anyone, in fact well above average in looks, although if she's nervous, her 'illness' comes through.

Just a sweet caring girl, who wants to be loved, but thinks she's only good for being used for sex, money whatever, and it's so ingrained, she may be like it forever

I heard my flatmate on the phone earlier (I wasn't listening, I walked in the room as it was being said), someone was asking about me and called me Mark..........I was gutted, I thought she knew my name Then I find out it was someone else on the phone..............phew!

My flatmate has been ill today, i'm now scared she won't make it Sunday if she's ill. Of course I hope my flatmate gets better for her sake, but i'm being a bit selfish...........I want her to go Sunday so I know what's happening

Hi Hun,
Just an idea but why don't you alll just meet up without laying down more rules than the Geneva Convention? If she likes you in that way, that's fine. Try not to define the relationship before it's started angel - give it a fighting chance. If you're open and honest with each other, what the relationship is meant to be will sort itself out hun. You just have to talk to each other. You should take this as a huge slap on the back that she seems to have found you attractive. I can understand about you not wanting to get it wrong or hurt her feelings or your own but maybe she has learned some experience from past relationships and is ready to try again. I know you're more than nervous but go ahead, meet up and enjoy those butterfly feelings in your stomach!
Just because there is mental ill health, this doesn't mean you're not entitled to an intimate relationship. Good luck again angel - que sera,sera.
Tiff x

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

Woke up too early:(

Only to face grumpy teenager, who forgot to put his washing out after us both reminding him, being awkward about telling us when he was going, rather than just say the time, and when I had my hands full, he wouldn't help me by taking his plates down and slammed the door when I get upset with him about it.

I feel like !!!!!! with this cold too. I hate today!:(

At least my husband is being nice.

Hey angel - hope that you feel better soon - there's sadly no cure for colds or teenagers.:rolleyes: Glad hubby still on the right track.
We seem to be the ones that put others on a pedestal - they don't get up there by themselves angel. And when they can't achieve all we expect, it breaks our hearts & we resent them!. Yes partners/family should be supportive but they're only human. And it's all only because we want to be loved.
As a one-off, and just for you, :rolleyes: , I'm going to cancel today so we can get straight onto tomorrow! :j
Tiff
xx

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

Why is no one around

Hi fg - I guess we were all trying to get things done before the world shuts down for the weekend! I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I have been reading your posts today and you sound really down on yourself. Would it have helped to tell the receptionist why you needed to see someone urgently angel? Receptionists can work miracles. Even mention that you don't feel well enough to get to the surgery - she may have referred you to the duty doctor. Wait till Monday and try saying that you need an urgent appt. It's easier to speak on the phone but see the dr in person. Take care
Tiff x

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

He gets angry/irritated/upset when he knows I'm depressed. I've spoken to him, and he'd rather I lie and say I'm fine.

My posts have turned into The Tiff Chronicles - sorry guys!:o Just want to catch up and help where and if I can.
Don't feel bad about crying on the phone - it shows you want help - they are used to this angel. If you can't face it yourself then get someone to act on your behalf.
But you've got to put yourself 1st! OH will just have to deal with it, is the harsh truth. No-one should expect you to stay in that kind of misery and pain. If you stay in it, it just gets worse hun. Gamma makes a point angel - don't let anything stop you from phoning Monday a.m. Call BT and book an alarm call if you have to. Don't avoid getting help you need, especially because of OH's feelings (that's a separate issue- I said before he sounds depressed or stressed or both) - you can't let them do that and then use it as an excuse. You are his partner angel and it's time to put things back to 50-50. We're all rooting for you.
Tiff xx

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

hello everyone
hope your all ok?
no one seems to be around but i got some news. .. . . .

ok so went to the doctors,:eek: , i was terrified by the way, but he was lovely when i told him this is my bad month and how i still dont have the relivant support in place and how its taking ages, he went on a rant about the health service saying how awful it is etc.. anyway then i told him EVERYTHING , and he was like 'right well i will be getting on the phone straight away', he was very nice, and understanding, because i have came from uni to back home at uni things were all in full swing and when i came home i am now back at square one as it were, and this is what he was annoyed at as he totally understood.

Then i went for my interview, i was 10 mins late :rolleyes: :rolleyes: , and i have tonsilitis so my voice is very bad at the mo. when i was in my interview and when i was in the doctors too, i was thinking about you all very much, felt like you were all behind me somehow propping me up.;) i was in the interview for an hour.
we all had a good chat, though i could not talk much. and well drum role pleassse. . . . . i got the job, he gave it to me there and then. so are you all proud? lol

anyway i just wanted to share that with you all. as even though i am soo ruddy low at the moment i have managed to get me health sorted or at least on the right road, and also got a job, so people it can be done. put your minds to it and great things will come your way, do not let it beat you, and remember just be yourselves and live your lives. (ok sound like im preaching now, dont mean too).

i mean i still feel absolutely awful, but at least i can take back a little of whats mine.

much love to you all
xxx

will be back on in a bit. x

Hey Rosie, Thanks for the pm
FANTASTIC - WELL DONE YOU!!!:j
I knew you could do it angel! I'm so proud of you. Just let me know when to say 'I told you so.'!:rotfl:
You so deserve this after being brave enough to go to drs - I know how much you were dreading it.
As they say, when you hit bottom there's only one way you can go and you took a chance and it paid off in spades. Glad the other GP was so good - otherwise Tiff had her pen at the ready !:rotfl:
Even with how you were feeling, (I know you were shaking in your wellies! )you managed to get the help you needed. That should be an inspiration to a few of us on this thread. Sometimes you just have to take your heart in your hands and go for it. You have a lot to gain if you hang in there and ask for the help you need. Best news I could have heard - you go girl! :T
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

candygirl wrote:

I finally went back to the doctors today, and she has changed me from prozac to venlafaxine, and signed me off work for two weeks.i feel bad cos i had 3 weeks off in march but with my recent problems ie divorce, health worries, work hassles etc my head was going pop. Is anybody esle on this relatively new anti depressant and what do you think of it?

Hi candygirl
It's like I said to clazza, different strokes for different folks basically angel. We've all got different chemistry and when the Venlafaxine didn't work for me, I know others that it did help. Keep close contact with your GP & if you've got any questions/problems they'll be up-to-date on your situation. Like any ad, it can take a while to kick in - the times vary. I know we all want definite info on meds etc - it's quite natural - even only it were that simple huh?
Tiff x