depression

rose07

Miroslav wrote:

I'm having 2nd thoughts now Maybe it's best I don't meet her

Well, we don't really know anyone we share anything mutually with. I'm not sure about good matchmaker either. Last relationship, was with one of her friends she invited back, happened by accident, they ended up hating each other I know nothing will happen this time, but I guess I am just human, wanting someone to like me

I'll let you all know how it goes, but if it goes wrong, I may need a few days on my own.

right Miroslav

lets think this through now thats its only a day to go till you wil know.

first a few steps to make sure you are ready.

1, eat, and try and sleep. - yes seems easy doesnt it but we all know it is not like that, i managed to eat a scone with jam today, woo hoo, thats the only thing i have eaten but at least it something, so hun before you see her make sure you just eat something even if its just something small, or as tiff says, you will end up hitting the deck before you even see her.

2. stop putting yourself down!!!!!, ok not wanting to have a go (and i know this is part of things), but hun you need to let yourself breathe, you are building yourself up for the worst, which is a healthy thing in small doses but not like this, just take it easi.

3. get washed, ready, and relax, distract yourself from the actual whole thing (ok now i know this is hard, BUT, if you can manage to distract yourself just for a bit then, and only then will you be able to STOP and think take a few breathe and tell yourself right im great i can do this, all will be ok.

right thats enough numbers (im bad at counting anyway).

i think your flat mate is right. you are grieving. think of the people you have lost, the people that have been close to you and that you have loved dearly, remember you can always talk about it on hhere.
i have not properly grieved over someone because i cant, and that pain builds inside hun, so when you get a chance let it out.., pillows are great for this ok, get a pillow and let out any anger by bashing it against a wall, throwing it or punching it. and remember crying its a good source of release (gives you a headache), but think its worth it. i have a problem crying i sometimes cant cry as much as i feel pain and upset i just cant get my emotion out so it gets built up. (which is realli not good).

It is great that you have respect for this girl, and ever better than that that you have not forgotten about your ex. (am i making sense here?)

you are wondering if its worth it!!!???, i thought you have been waiting 3 years for this?

right i agree with tiff info, (very good advice hun)
Try not to define the relationship before it's started angel - give it a fighting chance. If you're open and honest with each other, what the relationship is meant to be will sort itself out hun. You just have to talk to each other. You should take this as a huge slap on the back that she seems to have found you attractive. I can understand about you not wanting to get it wrong or hurt her feelings or your own but maybe she has learned some experience from past relationships and is ready to try again.

try and remember this, you are thinking that she wants sex, when all she may want it a cuddle and someone to talk to. these things take time, and if you dont give them the time they deserve then someone always ends up hurt.

We can all have dreams, but it is what we do with them that counts.

I wish you luck for tomorrow and will be thinkking and hoping all will go fine.
take care and eat
xxx

Mrs_A.

mrs a here just checking in with you all.
i am ok i suppose had my paroxitine upped to 50mgs a day, getting my cbt weekly at the day hosptial, i dont know how i feel about it i think its too early to make a decision not that i am very good about them, have been off work for 3 weeks and i am off next week too. i think that is probably why i have been ok to be honest. been doing a lot of housework recently because it has been needing it. started an evening class nearly 3 weeks ago on manicures etc and i am really enjoying that, in fact i have my first customer tomorrow and my cousin has asked me to go to the bingo as well which i am thinking about. been doing some painting in the house too which i am finding a real drag but it needs doing and i am off work and feel i should be doing something if you know what i mean.
better go for now hope EVERYONE is well and coping just now
kindest regards
mrs a

rose07

Tiff wrote:

Hey Rosie, Thanks for the pm
FANTASTIC - WELL DONE YOU!!!:j
I knew you could do it angel! I'm so proud of you. Just let me know when to say 'I told you so.'!:rotfl:
You so deserve this after being brave enough to go to drs - I know how much you were dreading it.
As they say, when you hit bottom there's only one way you can go and you took a chance and it paid off in spades. Glad the other GP was so good - otherwise Tiff had her pen at the ready !:rotfl:
Even with how you were feeling, (I know you were shaking in your wellies! )you managed to get the help you needed. That should be an inspiration to a few of us on this thread. Sometimes you just have to take your heart in your hands and go for it. You have a lot to gain if you hang in there and ask for the help you need. Best news I could have heard - you go girl! :T
Tiff xxx

thanks huni, (yeah you can say i told you so now. :rotfl: )
glad to see you, i thought i was going to have to get me wellies on again (and to be honest i dont have the energy to get them on), so everyone be good!!! or i will get me fluffy slippers instead , lol.
you are right i am not one for taaking my own advice, never do, lol. (usually do the opposite,)
yeah im glad the doctor was nice, i dont know how i woulda been if i had been told to go away or not helpful etc..
Well sometimes tiff as you say when we hit bottom there is only one way we can go, so i realised i could get no lower, and took everything yesterday with all my strength (yeah i was dreading the whole day)
(strange thing in my interview was that, i was soo ill ( i only managed it out of bed because i had the doctor), and i could barely talk just kept saying yep alot, but i have the experience that they are hopefully wanting to move the company forward with (so i am a good investment realli )

arrgghh parents arguing, :eek: giving me a headache,:o to be honest feeling awful today, can barely talk, breathing is awful and last night i couldnt sleep for all the coughing and thinking i was doing. (i had to take a morphine mixture to ease the pain), i am on all kinds of medicine and cant stand it. lol.
i am going out tonight to say bye bye to my mate who is off to london (yes tears will be shed, if i can get me emotion out). ,

Hey Rose - at least you're giving it a try. If it works out you have £s and new people in your life. If not, you're stuck with us! I know how strong you are. Tiff x

im not going anywhere Tiff, job or no job, i will still find a way to see how your all doing (i have my ways) and dont be thinking for one minute you can escape me again.
i want daily updates, and if anyone has any bad dates, post them!!!
my bad dates this month are 16, 17 and 19. (9 days :eek: )
then we can support and help you through the worst time.

oh im not really in the mood for tonight, i got a banging headache, chest sore, flu symptoms and tonsilitis, GGREEAT, nothing like some pain and things to keep you going. lol , and got an hour before i go out (and will most likely be out till 4am+), and i have to be up at 5am on monday for some freelance work i am doing. :eek: ,(i havent even had a chance to sort the equipment out) god i already feel stressed and its not even started yet.

ok stopping me ramblings. . .

Tiff, so how are you then hun? (no wellies, i promise)
How are you sleeping and have you managed to sort a few things out?
Was thinking about you last night as i tossed, turned and generally coughed me guts up. lol(musta reminded me of you somehow, :rotfl:)
yeah it has been a long day/week for us i have a feeling that the next week is going to be just as long?, here is hoping that you get some sleep, and have a great weekend.
I know you, so do something you enjoy, spend time with your DS (if you can), oh what is your interest hun? as you know mine is creative things, lol.
do you have a hobby?, (oh i can just imagine you horse riding, :rotfl: )
and then there is music, very relaxing . . . .(i use that to try and sleep)
i can be very stubborn as far as looking aftr myself, lol.
glad you know where i am, and that goes for all of you.
take care tiff xxx

ok take care everyone
off to get ready (this is going to be fun, can barely move, LMAO)
and remember everyone do something you enjoy, keep fighting and try and be positive,
much love to you all xxx

rose07

Mrs_A. wrote:

mrs a here just checking in with you all.
i am ok i suppose had my paroxitine upped to 50mgs a day, getting my cbt weekly at the day hosptial, i dont know how i feel about it i think its too early to make a decision not that i am very good about them, have been off work for 3 weeks and i am off next week too. i think that is probably why i have been ok to be honest. been doing a lot of housework recently because it has been needing it. started an evening class nearly 3 weeks ago on manicures etc and i am really enjoying that, in fact i have my first customer tomorrow and my cousin has asked me to go to the bingo as well which i am thinking about. been doing some painting in the house too which i am finding a real drag but it needs doing and i am off work and feel i should be doing something if you know what i mean.
better go for now hope EVERYONE is well and coping just now
kindest regards
mrs a

Hi Mrs A, nice to see you.
take one day at a time, dont worry that you dont know how to feel at the moment this is natural, keep going, you are doing well and on the right path.
its greeat you are now doing a course as well, doing something you enjoy and something that gives you a bit of what you want to do. and yes get out to bingo, i got a bit confused with bingo too many numbers, lol. but greeat fun.
( i might go to the casino tonight).
oo i love painting, good on you for getting things done and giving yourself a boost you have clearly done well over the last few weekd and i hope this continues. A+ for your effort and achievement soo far. well done. :T :T :T
all the best
xxx

bettyboop61

Hi Rose, Tiff, Mrs A, Flis, Miroslav, ccs,feelingood, Slayerx,Gamma, Bunnie and everyone else I may have forgotten for the mo.

Just wanted you all to know that I got in touch with my CPN yesterday (it was such a relief) and she has organised for the Crisis Team to see me thru the weekend. I just can't understand the slump in my mood again, but I guess I should know better, having had depression for years. But every time I hit a good patch I just hope it will last, but it never does and this time my good patch didn't last that long, its so disappointing.

Rose you have done so well considering how bad you were feeling, you went to your docs and you got a job all in one day...wow...what else can I say!! Congratulations!!

Miroslav I agree with Rose and Tiff, just take things one step at a time, I think she is one lucky girl having you care about her, and I hope that she sees that too. Good luck for tomorrow I will be thinking about you and keeping everything crossed for you ...so to speak;)

Tiff how are you?? You do a wonderful job of replying to everyone and your advice is always first class. I hope you are taking care of yourself as well.

Hmmm there was lots of other things I wanted to reply to as well, but I seem to have lost the plot a bit here :rolleyes: darn that depression it does addle your brain cells a bit.... sorry folks...but then again you should be thankful that you've escaped my words of wisdom:rolleyes:

Anyway just wanted to let you know i'm still about, feeling crap, but still here.
Hope everyone has had a good day, and that tomorrow will be better( we can but live in hope i guess). Take care everyone. Hugssssssss
Betty

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

Hi Sazbo
how are you today?
have you got something planned for the weekend? if not why?
take care
xxx

LOL thanks rose x Nothing much planned for the weekend, but actually I don't mind that. Last two weekends were quite tiring, I was trying to clean my flat which I hadn't done for ages, so this weekend I'm quite happy to take things a bit easier Hope you're having a good day x

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Miroslav - you're a good person with good qualities, and as CCS says - if she doesn't pursue things with you, it's no reflection on you at all. I know it's easy said, but try not to build it up too much in your mind, see it as one opportunity, of which, in time, there will be more. Sx

Right now, it's the only thing I can worry about. I know you're right, but this is my first opportunity for over 5 years with anyone, or at least one that has a 1% chance

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

right Miroslav

lets think this through now thats its only a day to go till you wil know.

first a few steps to make sure you are ready.

1, eat, and try and sleep. - yes seems easy doesnt it but we all know it is not like that, i managed to eat a scone with jam today, woo hoo, thats the only thing i have eaten but at least it something, so hun before you see her make sure you just eat something even if its just something small, or as tiff says, you will end up hitting the deck before you even see her.

2. stop putting yourself down!!!!!, ok not wanting to have a go (and i know this is part of things), but hun you need to let yourself breathe, you are building yourself up for the worst, which is a healthy thing in small doses but not like this, just take it easi.

3. get washed, ready, and relax, distract yourself from the actual whole thing (ok now i know this is hard, BUT, if you can manage to distract yourself just for a bit then, and only then will you be able to STOP and think take a few breathe and tell yourself right im great i can do this, all will be ok.

right thats enough numbers (im bad at counting anyway).

i think your flat mate is right. you are grieving. think of the people you have lost, the people that have been close to you and that you have loved dearly, remember you can always talk about it on hhere.
i have not properly grieved over someone because i cant, and that pain builds inside hun, so when you get a chance let it out.., pillows are great for this ok, get a pillow and let out any anger by bashing it against a wall, throwing it or punching it. and remember crying its a good source of release (gives you a headache), but think its worth it. i have a problem crying i sometimes cant cry as much as i feel pain and upset i just cant get my emotion out so it gets built up. (which is realli not good).

It is great that you have respect for this girl, and ever better than that that you have not forgotten about your ex. (am i making sense here?)

you are wondering if its worth it!!!???, i thought you have been waiting 3 years for this?

right i agree with tiff info, (very good advice hun)
Try not to define the relationship before it's started angel - give it a fighting chance. If you're open and honest with each other, what the relationship is meant to be will sort itself out hun. You just have to talk to each other. You should take this as a huge slap on the back that she seems to have found you attractive. I can understand about you not wanting to get it wrong or hurt her feelings or your own but maybe she has learned some experience from past relationships and is ready to try again.

try and remember this, you are thinking that she wants sex, when all she may want it a cuddle and someone to talk to. these things take time, and if you dont give them the time they deserve then someone always ends up hurt.

We can all have dreams, but it is what we do with them that counts.

I wish you luck for tomorrow and will be thinkking and hoping all will go fine.
take care and eat
xxx

1. I'm trying I guess i'm resigned to it not working anyway

2. It's all i've done all my life. I do it before anyone can get the chance

3. I've distracted myself by getting a couple of hours sleep

I don't talk about those things in detail. I can't, I find it too hard. I've never used their names, because I can't. I'm hoping I can one day move on

I do throw things sometimes when angry/frustrated. Problem is i'm a strong lad and throw things too hard I don't usually cry, i've done a little this last week or two, but that is very unlike me.

I have been waiting 3 years.........I guess it's better to be rejected now, than wait another 3 years

I'd be delighted if she wanted a cuddle and someone to talk too, it's what I want most. I'll probably get a scowl and a grunt if i'm lucky to make it that far

Miroslav

bettyboop61 wrote:

Miroslav I agree with Rose and Tiff, just take things one step at a time, I think she is one lucky girl having you care about her, and I hope that she sees that too. Good luck for tomorrow I will be thinking about you and keeping everything crossed for you ...so to speak;)

Thanks Betty, I hope she thinks she is lucky Keep all them things crossed

Miroslav

My final post until I know the outcome of tomorrow........

I'm pooping myself, I'm scared, nervous, expecting the worst, and worrying about what to do once rejected.

If she says 'yes', i'll have another 1-2 weeks of panic until we meet Can I handle it?

She's quite good at cancelling things, so tomorrow may still not go ahead, we'll see I'll not sleep tonight I doubt.

Sorry not been able to reply to everyone, i'm very weak, tired, unwell, nervous and distracted. I hope you are all as well as can be.

Yours,

A near panic attacking Miroslav

:wave: