depression

rose07

Sazbo wrote:

LOL, !!!!!!: "For F**ks Sake" :rotfl: Rose that did make me laugh!

thanks saz. (ok so im not quite up on the whole jargon wargon yet but getting there, LMAO)

right im going to moan for a bit now, as well i need to.
ok so feeling awful today and here is why (rose makes a rewind noise).
last night went out i was on a sobre night, very strange being sobre when everyone else around you is wasted. lol
anyway was having a good night until we got to the club, it is a over 21 club.
we were waiting in the que with my mates, a guy has a go at me, but i think nothing of it as hhe is drunk.
then we get in th club and we are dancing away and i bump into one of my exes. lol. (he just sent me a text saying how i looked good last night :eek: )
anyway thats not the pprob as me and him are cool.

anyway on the dance floor later.. . .
i bump into the guys that were giving me and my mates hassle at the door.
(now i dont go out dressed to kill, i wear jeans, and a strappy top)
this one guy starts pinching my as* and, slapping me, and keeps pulling down my straps to both my top and my bra, :eek: .
well there is only so much i can take, i punched him (know i shouldnt have)
he punched me back and went back and forth for a bit till my mates seen what was happening and took me away.

well made me feel awful, as now i feel like i ask for these things, that i must go out to places with, oh i dont know, something, i guess.


anyway im a bit upset today (well if im honest alot)
as i was trapped between 4 guys, all were not being nice and touching and being absolute w*nkers., least to say it reminded me of the whole attack 3 years ago, i felt very vulnerable, and scared. ( i am oonly a little thing just under 5ft and everyone towers over me, to the point that i usually dance in the middle of my mates, but last night it was soo crowded i lost them, and couldnt see them).
god you all prob think i am a wimp now.

i didnt get home till 5am today, and i am shattered, very stressed, upset, scared, shaking and feel like someone is killing me from the inside.

does anyone know any way of relaxing, or at least being able to breathe?

darn it, i wasnt going to cry, but too many memories coming back.
i realli feellikedoing something.

right thats me moan over with, will go and walk into a car now. . . .

feelinggood_2

I'm writing a reply rose, hold on

Please don't feel bad, I don't know what happened 3 years ago, but I can guess.
Last night, you did nothing wrong, it was not your fault, you didn't ask for it.
I know its hard to understand that, but trust me. I was raped 6 years ago, and I blamed myself. I didn't tell anyone for years as I thought everyone would blame me. We don't ask for these sorts of things, they aren't our fault. We've got to keep telling ourselves that untill we believe it.

Not sure how you could relax, music, bath, nice dinner, film, sleep, walk, gym, swim, meditate?
PM me if you need

Horasio

rose07 wrote:

Hi CCStar

CCStar i am soz i brought up your DS now. lol. i have great respect for parents/adults as us kids/adults can be a right handful, and i want you to know, that whatever your DS is like and why he is like that, he is an adult and is responsible for himself.

anyway dont woz
we all here to talk and get things out and hopefully make things better.
x

I get really sore when I feel people judge parenting skills. It is a very difficult job and I didn't get much support when my son was growing up and I was ill.

I thought it would get easier when he was a grown up, plus life hasn't been easy for the past 10 years. It grinds you down eventually. I know other people get it bad too. But everyone hits their limit!

This cold is driving me mental. I can't sleep, feel sensitive and don't know what to do about it. Waiting isn't one of my strong points either.

I want to get out of this October trough!:mad:

Horasio

gillette147 wrote:

I need a blokes depression thread.
Cya girls
xx

This depression thread is open to all.

I think some blokes use it too.

rose07

feelinggood wrote:

I'm writing a reply rose, hold on

Please don't feel bad, I don't know what happened 3 years ago, but I can guess.
Last night, you did nothing wrong, it was not your fault, you didn't ask for it.
I know its hard to understand that, but trust me. I was raped 6 years ago, and I blamed myself. I didn't tell anyone for years as I thought everyone would blame me. We don't ask for these sorts of things, they aren't our fault. We've got to keep telling ourselves that untill we believe it.

Not sure how you could relax, music, bath, nice dinner, film, sleep, walk, gym, swim, meditate?
PM me if you need

thanks fg, im still here, . . .
but just hurting. why do people hurt us?
people are always telling me its not myself but i am a great one for taking the blame for things. i understand what you mean, i think i still blame myself (i know tiff will tell me off for that, lol), it will be 3 years on the 19th of this month since i was ........:(......naa i still cant say the word

yeah listening to my music at the mo, but i must be a very depressed person all the songs are sad and depressing, (so not realli helping), i will go and sort out the equipment for my day tomoz....as its stressing me out as i am soo not ready, have no motivation and feel like i am at square one again.
back in a bit x

ps, thanks for telling me about your experience, i appreciate it, and it helps in me not feeliing like im alone.

Horasio

gillette147 wrote:

But i'm not dealing with it, or on treatment.
Don't even want to admit to it.
Too much of a bloke.

I can understand that. It is like an admission of failure but it isn't.

I find it helps to talk about feelings. I have had treatment myself too but do try to keep off it as it plays havoc with my metabolism. Taken too many pills already in my life for my health problems and they have given me weight problems.:mad:

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

Hiya rose. Wish you hadn't mentioned maltesers...... I'm out of chocolate myself at the moment! :eek: Might have to pop out Settle down with ya cuppa and shoot the breeze for a while x

Had chocolate and coffee - still don't feel a lot better:(

gillette147

rose07 wrote:

thanks saz. (ok so im not quite up on the whole jargon wargon yet but getting there, LMAO)

right im going to moan for a bit now, as well i need to.
ok so feeling awful today and here is why (rose makes a rewind noise).
last night went out i was on a sobre night, very strange being sobre when everyone else around you is wasted. lol
anyway was having a good night until we got to the club, it is a over 21 club.
we were waiting in the que with my mates, a guy has a go at me, but i think nothing of it as hhe is drunk.
then we get in th club and we are dancing away and i bump into one of my exes. lol. (he just sent me a text saying how i looked good last night :eek: )
anyway thats not the pprob as me and him are cool.

anyway on the dance floor later.. . .
i bump into the guys that were giving me and my mates hassle at the door.
(now i dont go out dressed to kill, i wear jeans, and a strappy top)
this one guy starts pinching my as* and, slapping me, and keeps pulling down my straps to both my top and my bra, :eek: .
well there is only so much i can take, i punched him (know i shouldnt have)
he punched me back and went back and forth for a bit till my mates seen what was happening and took me away.

well made me feel awful, as now i feel like i ask for these things, that i must go out to places with, oh i dont know, something, i guess.


anyway im a bit upset today (well if im honest alot)
as i was trapped between 4 guys, all were not being nice and touching and being absolute w*nkers., least to say it reminded me of the whole attack 3 years ago, i felt very vulnerable, and scared. ( i am oonly a little thing just under 5ft and everyone towers over me, to the point that i usually dance in the middle of my mates, but last night it was soo crowded i lost them, and couldnt see them).
god you all prob think i am a wimp now.

i didnt get home till 5am today, and i am shattered, very stressed, upset, scared, shaking and feel like someone is killing me from the inside.

does anyone know any way of relaxing, or at least being able to breathe?

darn it, i wasnt going to cry, but too many memories coming back.
i realli feellikedoing something.

right thats me moan over with, will go and walk into a car now. . . .

I don't know if you want me to comment. You could stop reading.

The bloke was an ar$ehole - beer or not.
Shake it off coz it was totally him - not you.
Big hug from me girl
xxx

feelinggood_2

rose07 wrote:

ps, thanks for telling me about your experience, i appreciate it, and it helps in me not feeliing like im alone.

I know how hard it is to talk about/think about it.
I was just turned 13 when it happened, raped by 2 guys. I remember staggering home, totally confused and upset. Got home, and got told off as mum thought I had been fighting as I had cuts and blood all over my arms and face. Took me till Feb this year to tell anyone. For a long time, I didn't actually see it as rape - I knew it wasn't right, but I thought it was my fault, I asked for it, I must have done something. Then, in feb, I managed to tell my doctor. Gave me the number for the rape conselling team, but never phoned it. I suppose a large part of me still blames myself, which is why I never went to the police of something. Wouldn't want to punish them, as I made them do it. How messed up is that logic?
Hope you feel better soon, if you ever want to talk about this, you know where I am.

I'm feeling awful atm. Drinking again

feelinggood_2

gillette147 wrote:

I don't know if you want me to comment. You could stop reading.

I for one want you to comment, please stick around x