depression

Horasio

rose07 wrote:

thanks saz. (ok so im not quite up on the whole jargon wargon yet but getting there, LMAO)

right im going to moan for a bit now, as well i need to.
ok so feeling awful today and here is why (rose makes a rewind noise).
last night went out i was on a sobre night, very strange being sobre when everyone else around you is wasted. lol
anyway was having a good night until we got to the club, it is a over 21 club.
we were waiting in the que with my mates, a guy has a go at me, but i think nothing of it as hhe is drunk.
then we get in th club and we are dancing away and i bump into one of my exes. lol. (he just sent me a text saying how i looked good last night :eek: )
anyway thats not the pprob as me and him are cool.

anyway on the dance floor later.. . .
i bump into the guys that were giving me and my mates hassle at the door.
(now i dont go out dressed to kill, i wear jeans, and a strappy top)
this one guy starts pinching my as* and, slapping me, and keeps pulling down my straps to both my top and my bra, :eek: . What a !!!!! - hope you reported him and got him removed - it was uninvited:mad:
well there is only so much i can take, i punched him (know i shouldnt have)
he punched me back and went back and forth for a bit till my mates seen what was happening and took me away. You should have just reported him to the bouncers

well made me feel awful, as now i feel like i ask for these things, that i must go out to places with, oh i dont know, something, i guess. Nobody asked to be harrassed!!!


anyway im a bit upset today (well if im honest alot)
as i was trapped between 4 guys, all were not being nice and touching and being absolute w*nkers., least to say it reminded me of the whole attack 3 years ago, i felt very vulnerable, and scared. ( i am oonly a little thing just under 5ft and everyone towers over me, to the point that i usually dance in the middle of my mates, but last night it was soo crowded i lost them, and couldnt see them).
god you all prob think i am a wimp now.

i didnt get home till 5am today, and i am shattered, very stressed, upset, scared, shaking and feel like someone is killing me from the inside.

does anyone know any way of relaxing, or at least being able to breathe?

darn it, i wasnt going to cry, but too many memories coming back.
i realli feellikedoing something.

right thats me moan over with, will go and walk into a car now. . . .

Sorry to hear about your horrible evening. The guy/s were the ones to blame, not you!

I would get them removed from the place, they would have done it to someone else if it hadn't been you and guys needs to know this behaviour isn't acceptable! Who do they think they are?:mad:

Vent your anger at them, rather than wondering what you did. You were a woman out on a night out, nothing else. Women do dress more scantily in clubs. I swear unless you wore a yashmak, men would use the 'she was asking for it' line for wearing less clothing!

feelinggood_2

Bad day for all it seems

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I know how hard it is to talk about/think about it.
I was just turned 13 when it happened, raped by 2 guys. I remember staggering home, totally confused and upset. Got home, and got told off as mum thought I had been fighting as I had cuts and blood all over my arms and face. Took me till Feb this year to tell anyone. For a long time, I didn't actually see it as rape - I knew it wasn't right, but I thought it was my fault, I asked for it, I must have done something. Then, in feb, I managed to tell my doctor. Gave me the number for the rape conselling team, but never phoned it. I suppose a large part of me still blames myself, which is why I never went to the police of something. Wouldn't want to punish them, as I made them do it. How messed up is that logic?
Hope you feel better soon, if you ever want to talk about this, you know where I am.

I'm feeling awful atm. Drinking again

Blokes behave badly and we blame ourselves, why?

You were probably being normal, they had the mood switch and had the arrogance to think you were wanting them.

They are totally to blame not you!

gillette147

Christ girlies,
I feel so bad for you all.
Tell me where you live and i'll come round and hug each one of you.

I feel so bad that awlful things like these have had the probably worse trauma of totally misplaced feelings of guilt.
I know we all feel what we feel - even if you actually know the truth of it.
I could cry i'm so upset for you.
Have a hug
xxx

feelinggood_2

gillette147 wrote:

Christ girlies,
I feel so bad for you all.
Tell me where you live and i'll come round and hug each one of you.

I feel so bad that awlful things like these have had the probably worse trauma of totally misplaced feelings of guilt.
I know we all feel what we feel - even if you actually know the truth of it.
I could cry i'm so upset for you.
Have a hug
xxx

Thank Badger
I'm just glad I've got this place to talk about how I'm feeling, I'd go crazy without it! xx

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Bad day for all it seems

It is a particularly boring, annoying Sunday today.

There is this man, who has this huge shed right by our garden and spends hours in there in all weathers. I find it intrusive, especially when he makes a noise in there. It is a long way from his house and wonder why he has to 'live' right by us.

We bought this place to not feel too close to people. We lived in a flat before. Our garden isn't huge but our neighbours seem to live right by our garden, even though there are other areas they could use in their garden, they have bigger gardens. It makes me feel claustrophobic.

The ones behind have student age children who noisy midweek parties and have a really bad attitude towards us when we complain. The others have chavvy dogs and are loud in their garden. I can't sit out in my garden in summer and get any peace!

I want to sell our place to some really hard types, who will really wind up our neighbours, for a good price in the new year. Just waiting for husband to get settled in his new job.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Thank Badger
I'm just glad I've got this place to talk about how I'm feeling, I'd go crazy without it! xx

Same goes here.:)

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

It is a particularly boring, annoying Sunday today.

There is this man, who has this huge shed right by our garden and spends hours in there in all weathers. I find it intrusive, especially when he makes a noise in there. It is a long way from his house and wonder why he has to 'live' right by us.

We bought this place to not feel too close to people. We lived in a flat before. Our garden isn't huge but our neighbours seem to live right by our garden, even though there are other areas they could use in their garden, they have bigger gardens. It makes me feel claustrophobic.

The ones behind have student age children who noisy midweek parties and have a really bad attitude towards us when we complain. The others have chavvy dogs and are loud in their garden. I can't sit out in my garden in summer and get any peace!

I want to sell our place to some really hard types, who will really wind up our neighbours, for a good price in the new year. Just waiting for husband to get settled in his new job.

My neighbours are moving
I'm a bit worried, that as its a 3 bedroom house, it is likely to be a family. And if it is a family, there will be kids so someone will be at home all day. I kinda like the way that during the day, its just me about.
But at least I'm not stressing too much about the future, found out last week that we are here till atleast may - nice to have an idea of how long we'll be here.

Neighbours sometimes just seem a bit thick dont they? how can they not realise what hassel/annoyance/upset they are causing?

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I know how hard it is to talk about/think about it.
I was just turned 13 when it happened, raped by 2 guys. I remember staggering home, totally confused and upset. Got home, and got told off as mum thought I had been fighting as I had cuts and blood all over my arms and face. Took me till Feb this year to tell anyone. For a long time, I didn't actually see it as rape - I knew it wasn't right, but I thought it was my fault, I asked for it, I must have done something. Then, in feb, I managed to tell my doctor. Gave me the number for the rape conselling team, but never phoned it. I suppose a large part of me still blames myself, which is why I never went to the police of something. Wouldn't want to punish them, as I made them do it. How messed up is that logic?
Hope you feel better soon, if you ever want to talk about this, you know where I am.

I'm feeling awful atm. Drinking again

Is the drinking helping?

I don't know how old you are now but it sounds like it was some time ago.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Is the drinking helping?

I don't know how old you are now but it sounds like it was some time ago.

19 now, it was 6 years ago.

The drinking is numbing it a little bit. Helping. Got to make sure I don't drink too much otherwise I'll be silly and go and find my hidden craft knife :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: