depression

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

My final post until I know the outcome of tomorrow........

I'm pooping myself, I'm scared, nervous, expecting the worst, and worrying about what to do once rejected.

If she says 'yes', i'll have another 1-2 weeks of panic until we meet Can I handle it?

She's quite good at cancelling things, so tomorrow may still not go ahead, we'll see I'll not sleep tonight I doubt.

Sorry not been able to reply to everyone, i'm very weak, tired, unwell, nervous and distracted. I hope you are all as well as can be.

Yours,

A near panic attacking Miroslav

:wave:

Awww, good luck Miroslav. Hope it goes well, you deserve it. Let us know how you get on!! Saz xx

Horasio

My day today

Woke up feeling grotty, I always feel grotty till I have had breakfast.

Had chat with husband and looked at net together.

Watched X Factor - some good people through.

Had a light meal and a natter about insecurites and nasty people. One thing about this cold and October blues, I feel I am having regression therapy. I feel like I did in my late teens - ultra sensitive. The difference is I am able to talk about it very frankly and maturely.

It boils down to me feeling alone and abandoned as a child a lot, both my parents ran a business and had very little time for me, ignored me, rather than be horrible to me. I have no siblings and any relatives I knew were not my type, quite gobby and selfish. My parents were great to me at home and of course didn't want to goto bed, as it means the nice bit of the day was over and another lonely day the next day. I felt lonely at school. So I guess my fear of mornings stems from feeling crap in the mornings and hating school, coz I felt left out.

When I met my husband, he was the first person I could really talk to. I had a bout of October blues when I first went out with him and it caused me no end of insecurity afterwards. Of course, I was young and he didn't know me, so lots of unfortunate things happened, instead of talking about it and helping me through it, he didn't. I couldn't tell him and he didn't know. If I feel left out for any great length of time, I feel really pssed of, lonely and abandoned. Groups of two people make me nervous, as I often feel like the odd one out - effing school again:mad:

Also, gobby people can make me feel a bit edgy. Again school.

The other thing I have trouble with is change. I have had to cope with so much change, most not wanted. It is hard to plan anything or build on anything when things keep changing. Trouble is if things get too settled I get bored, I can't win!

I don't know whether it will help our relationship but I do understand why I am worried about this party next month.

It is also good to talk about it on this board.

Many thanks for listening:)

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

My final post until I know the outcome of tomorrow........

I'm pooping myself, I'm scared, nervous, expecting the worst, and worrying about what to do once rejected.

If she says 'yes', i'll have another 1-2 weeks of panic until we meet Can I handle it?

She's quite good at cancelling things, so tomorrow may still not go ahead, we'll see I'll not sleep tonight I doubt.

Sorry not been able to reply to everyone, i'm very weak, tired, unwell, nervous and distracted. I hope you are all as well as can be.

Yours,

A near panic attacking Miroslav

:wave:

I shall be thinking of you. Whatever happens, you will survive. I hope it all goes OK for you tomorrow. She is probably nervous too, allow for that.

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

I'm having 2nd thoughts now Maybe it's best I don't meet her

Well, we don't really know anyone we share anything mutually with. I'm not sure about good matchmaker either. Last relationship, was with one of her friends she invited back, happened by accident, they ended up hating each other I know nothing will happen this time, but I guess I am just human, wanting someone to like me

I'll let you all know how it goes, but if it goes wrong, I may need a few days on my own.

Hi Miroslav, Just wanted to wish you luck and to say thank you for letting us know that you may not be online for a few days if things don't work out...everybody had to up their medication the last time you disappeared!

You have to learn to like yourself too angel - I know, easier said than done and we see huge negativs in oueselves. But if you can work on that, you'll give off an air of bring calm and of valuing yourself (even if you have to fake it!);) After a while you will believe it yourself and that's half the battle won.
Good luck. Tiff.x

Tiff_2

Morning guys
I've been up since 4.30a.m. so it's couch nap-time for me! Hope you're all well as you can be and that you're all looking after yourselves.
Hey Rose , hope the tonsilitis is easing a bit hun?
Will catch up to you all later on.
If you can't have a good day, make sure no-one else can either!!!
Much love
Tiff xxx

regularsaver1

who was talking about their son? CC Star?

My dad always said the comment "can't wait for you to move out" - it really shattered my confidence and made me feel not wanted. It made me shout back. It made me feel left out, ignored ect in comparison to my brother and sister.
Could this be why your son is like that?

I don't know the situation, but give him a chance if you can.

Lisa

Horasio

regularsaver1 wrote:

who was talking about their son? CC Star?

My dad always said the comment "can't wait for you to move out" - it really shattered my confidence and made me feel not wanted. It made me shout back. It made me feel left out, ignored ect in comparison to my brother and sister.
Could this be why your son is like that?

I don't know the situation, but give him a chance if you can.

Lisa

I am sorry you felt unwanted by your dad

You don't know the situation, and your comment has really annoyed me.

He gets so many chances and his behaviour keeps driving us to distraction. We talk to him, listen to him, be nice to him, be strict with him - every approach under the sun.

I am really angry at what you are insinuating. Why would your parents say it to you and not your siblings? Maybe you behaved badly and they got fed up with it. Parents are human beings and sacrifice their lives and finances, only to have it chucked at them when they grow up. Did you think how they felt so they felt the need to say that? I doubt it.

He wants to move out. We have never told him 'we can't wait for him to leave', he is nearly 19 and wants to live life the way he wants which doesn't agree with us, it keeps us awake, disrupts our house etc. HE IS AN ADULT !!!!!!!! His selfish behavior makes us feel that way but don't say it too him.

Stop making out we are monster parents - I get really annoyed at people who blame the parents when the children (adults!) don't behave in a decent way !!!!!!:mad: :mad: :mad:

Horasio

Where is everyone today?

I hope you are all having a good day.

The cold is still hanging around and driving me nuts. My son was out last night at a party, so at least spared seeing my mood. Computers were playing up earlier, so super grump today. I need a day off!

I am wanting to move house but have to wait till the new year, but it is driving me mad having to wait. It is getting thro the waiting and irritations this house is giving us, on top of a cold just now.

Thank you for listening:)

gillette147

What's this site all about then?
Im not diagnosed depressive but could easily kill myself if it didn't hurt anyone.

Sazbo

Hi CCS I'm here, and hi all you other good folk. Having a rather slow start to the day. Sorry everything's a bit frustrating at the moment CCS - I feel like I need a day off every day Just take things a bit easy today, not being able to shake a cold doesn't help I know.

Hi Gillette. This board is a place where people can find support coping with depression. There are some good people with very sound advice here. You are most welcome.