depression

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Is it bad that one person seems to hold the key to a vast majority of my happiness?

Probably, but i'm in the same boat as we speak (type)

It's not good, not good at all. Hopefully in time, both of us can do something about it.

In the meantime, keep posting here, where we can all try to offer support and advice

gamma

I all this is my first post here, not really sure if I'm depressed but it seems to be all due to my ex bf..

Feelinggood : It's so true what you say how one person seems to hold the key to our happiness?

Background:
Met this guy who I've been seeing for the last year and a bit - he was a real b*st*Rd during our relationship cheating three times once with his old ex. Me driving him there to get his stuff, 3 hours away and a slap through the face for the privilage. hey ho!

I forgave him but we split up 3 months ago, in this time we've gone from not speaking to speaking to getting back together to splitting up and now he is seeing someone else.

The last week or so he's been over at my place a couple of times and we've been getting on really well effectively he's now cheating on his new boyfriend with me! I know it's terrible of me but I now feel that I want him back..

I've spoken to him tonight and I've in no certain terms told him I think we should get back together but he doesn't want to saying he's with the other guy now. ( are you keeping up did you gather were all guys ?:) )

Anyway I feel realllly down now and just thought I'd share, further more my housemate and best friend has now told me that its my own fault he's given me his advice and I've chosen not to use it and although I know this, it's just so difficult to cut all ties etc etc.

So 'feelinggood' the question is should we really be putting our happiness in the hands of others?

Miroslav

bettyboop61 wrote:

:hello: Just wanted to say Hi to everyone, Rose, Tiff, Fliss, Mrs A, Miroslav, Slayerx,and everyone else I have missed and Hi to all the newcomers. So Sorry to hear alot of you have terrible colds, it must be the change in the weather:rolleyes: Things have not been good for me for a while and I have really struggled today, rang to speak to my CPN and she was off today, so asked to speak to the back up CPN and she is off to, I felt really panicky because I have been having terrible thoughts today, I'm on my own tonight because my OH is away working and will not be back till tomorrow night, my olkdest son is working away too and my youngest son is working till midnight :eek: I have been trying to keep busy, to stop my mind from working overtime, but I must confess, I just had to go cut myself and now I feel ashamed that I gave into it aaaarrrggghhh.

I'm sorry for going on, its not helping anybody on here is it, I'll shut up and go away now.

Here's hoping for a better day for all of us tomorrow.
Love and hugsssss to you all

Betty

Sorry you have cut yourself I used to be bullimic, and when really down, make myself sick. I've felt like that lately, but not given in yet, but have come really close!

You're not going on.......if anyone it is me with my pathetic hopes for a girl who'll never like me Talk as much as need too, because we all empathise/sympathise and want to help each other

Miroslav

gamma wrote:

I all this is my first post here, not really sure if I'm depressed but it seems to be all due to my ex bf..

Feelinggood : It's so true what you say how one person seems to hold the key to our happiness?

Background:
Met this guy who I've been seeing for the last year and a bit - he was a real b*st*Rd during our relationship cheating three times once with his old ex. Me driving him there to get his stuff, 3 hours away and a slap through the face for the privilage. hey ho!

I forgave him but we split up 3 months ago, in this time we've gone from not speaking to speaking to getting back together to splitting up and now he is seeing someone else.

The last week or so he's been over at my place a couple of times and we've been getting on really well effectively he's now cheating on his new boyfriend with me! I know it's terrible of me but I now feel that I want him back..

I've spoken to him tonight and I've in no certain terms told him I think we should get back together but he doesn't want to saying he's with the other guy now. ( are you keeping up did you gather were all guys ?:) )

Anyway I feel realllly down now and just thought I'd share, further more my housemate and best friend has now told me that its my own fault he's given me his advice and I've chosen not to use it and although I know this, it's just so difficult to cut all ties etc etc.

So 'feelinggood' the question is should we really be putting our happiness in the hands of others?

gamma?

Doesn't matter what relationship/genders anyone is, all means the same.

If it's any use, I split with my ex, got back with her very briefly, in which time she managed to cheat again. When she left finally, it hurt like hell, but it was the best thing never to see her again. Sometimes when you have been hurt by someone, more than once, it's best to stick with your guns and don't go back, no matter how hard that may be.

gamma

Miroslav wrote:

gamma?

Doesn't matter what relationship/genders anyone is, all means the same.

If it's any use, I split with my ex, got back with her very briefly, in which time she managed to cheat again. When she left finally, it hurt like hell, but it was the best thing never to see her again. Sometimes when you have been hurt by someone, more than once, it's best to stick with your guns and don't go back, no matter how hard that may be.

Thanks for the encouragement, the sad thing is I know he will do it again and I am usually a collected person but it just seems all have gone to pot just now.

I am starting to feel at my wits end thinking this is the be all and end all, having stupid thoughts just now I know I shouldn't have.

Question : when she left how long did it take you to finally move on? if you have that is...

Miroslav

Right.........

My flatmate has suggested to me that, the pair of us and this girl, all meet together for coffee in town, so we can all mingle together and we can meet each other in a no pressure situation. She will suggest it to this girl on Sunday.

She has been asking about me though Flatmate says she's scared and nervous as she doesn't understand why I don't want a date or anything more than friendship as she's never had a male who wants just friendship, but she's told my flatmate she cares about me, but isn't sure about meeting me if I want to be friends.

I'm reading that as she wants sex if she's gonna meet I'm good looking ( :rotfl: apparently) but men use her, because she's over friendly and then when they discover she's had mental health issues, they dump her, or use her for money (she gets a fair bit for her 'illness' ) abuse her mentally and physically, sometimes really bad, and as she takes alot of medication to keep her level headed so to speak, they all think she's a 'freak'

To look at her, she looks just like anyone, in fact well above average in looks, although if she's nervous, her 'illness' comes through.

Just a sweet caring girl, who wants to be loved, but thinks she's only good for being used for sex, money whatever, and it's so ingrained, she may be like it forever

I heard my flatmate on the phone earlier (I wasn't listening, I walked in the room as it was being said), someone was asking about me and called me Mark..........I was gutted, I thought she knew my name Then I find out it was someone else on the phone..............phew!

My flatmate has been ill today, i'm now scared she won't make it Sunday if she's ill. Of course I hope my flatmate gets better for her sake, but i'm being a bit selfish...........I want her to go Sunday so I know what's happening

Miroslav

gamma wrote:

Thanks for the encouragement, the sad thing is I know he will do it again and I am usually a collected person but it just seems all have gone to pot just now.

I am starting to feel at my wits end thinking this is the be all and end all, having stupid thoughts just now I know I shouldn't have.

Question : when she left how long did it take you to finally move on? if you have that is...

Personally, I wouldn't let anyone do that to me. I could take cheating once, although it would be hard to pick up the pieces, but after a 2nd time, i'd never let someone take the !!!! out of me like that again.

Well, it took me about 6 months. I never 'loved' her, but cared about her alot. My original partner passed away, i've never got over that, so when my ex cheated, I felt like my deceased partner was cheated too, which is why I can't do relationships.

It's hard, but it's not as hard as letting someone walk all over you and pathetically apologising every time they cheat, promising not to do it again.

The 2nd time my partner cheated, she came up with a resolution - "If I tell you when i've slept with someone, will you be okay with it?" I knew she was thick, but that took the biscuit.

Bunnie1982

bettyboop61 wrote:

:hello: Just wanted to say Hi to everyone, Rose, Tiff, Fliss, Mrs A, Miroslav, Slayerx,and everyone else I have missed and Hi to all the newcomers. So Sorry to hear alot of you have terrible colds, it must be the change in the weather:rolleyes: Things have not been good for me for a while and I have really struggled today, rang to speak to my CPN and she was off today, so asked to speak to the back up CPN and she is off to, I felt really panicky because I have been having terrible thoughts today, I'm on my own tonight because my OH is away working and will not be back till tomorrow night, my olkdest son is working away too and my youngest son is working till midnight :eek: I have been trying to keep busy, to stop my mind from working overtime, but I must confess, I just had to go cut myself and now I feel ashamed that I gave into it aaaarrrggghhh.

I'm sorry for going on, its not helping anybody on here is it, I'll shut up and go away now.

Here's hoping for a better day for all of us tomorrow.
Love and hugsssss to you all

Betty

Betty

You are certainly not going on :grouphug: everyone on here is here to listen to each other, so talk as much as you need to.

I hope you are ok, I do understand how you feel, just recently I have been on the edge of cutting myself or doing something to harm myself. I have not gone that far but I do admit I have been compulsive hair plucking.

gamma

Miroslav wrote:

The 2nd time my partner cheated, she came up with a resolution - "If I tell you when i've slept with someone, will you be okay with it?" I knew she was thick, but that took the biscuit.

I burst out laughing at that one, the saddest thing is if he was to say we should try again I'd probably get over him cheating again! (As he's now done with his new man - cheating with me)

Well its probably true what they say - once a cheater always one.

Miroslav

gamma wrote:

I burst out laughing at that one, the saddest thing is if he was to say we should try again I'd probably get over him cheating again! (As he's now done with his new man - cheating with me)

Well its probably true what they say - once a cheater always one.

It's a tough one. I don't know your true feelings for him, but when you love/care for someone, it's not as easy as "Get rid" because it's hard.

I think once someone has cheated, it's very hard to see past that. It may be a one off mistake, but when the trust has been broken, it never truly 100% comes back.