depression

Miroslav

Tiff wrote:

Hi Miroslav. Thank God you're all right.
Do you know how many of us were worried and upset about you?! We have been in tears! I can understand things going on with this girl, as I'd thought, but please don't post like that again!
I guess that's the trouble with the Internet, you can't tell speech patterns or tone of voice. I am glad you're okay hun - I really am. I know the group will be relieved too! people were really frightened. i do wish you good luck with the girl involved angel. When you get a minute, please go back and read your own post and then all of our replies. Can you see why we were all so worried? I don't know whether to hug you or slap you! I'm upset because we all care for you and we thought we'd lost you.
I am so glad you're back and that you're safe but I'm a truly ticked off tearful Tiff!
Talk later. Tiff x

Sorry

I do get very upset these days and at the time of posting, it was 'goodbye' and it remained that way until for the first time in years I was given a little hope.

Today the hope is much less than last night, but a little is there.

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Should I keep fighting? I wonder if the depression is going to win anyway, should I not just revert back to not doing anything and wait for it to pass? Is there any point fighting?

I feel like that all the time, but I think we all know the answer. Whilst you still have fight in you, keep fighting.

Bunnie1982

Think I am keeping the local pharmacy in business at the moment.

Here's my story in a nutshell

Was off work ill from Wednesday 13th October with my IBS, ended up going to the doctor on Friday 15th to be re-prescribed with Mebeverine, didn't mention anything to him about how I was feeling emotionally

Everything broke down a bit over the weekend and Monday 18th I was having a terrible day, crying all the time and panic attacks.

Went back to doctors on Tuesday to the lady doctor and told her everything, was signed off work for 2 weeks and prescribed Citalopram

Went back to doctors this morning, no real change to my depression and anxiety yet because tablets will only just be starting to kick in, have been prescribed Temazepam to help me sleep.

Work has been my main downfall, consistently knocking my confidence back. However I have handed in my notice and am going to give myself some time out before looking for a new job.

Have got to find a way not to speak to my parents for a while as they don't understand what I am going through and I just get the constant "pull yourself together" comments from them. Fortunately husband and the in laws have been wonderful

feelinggood_2

I know what you mean about talking to people Miroslav, I very rarely manage to keep in touch with people. Its not that I don't want to, sometimes I can't pick up the phone or send an email.
Suppose thats why I've ended up with no mates!
Little panic attack this morning, feeling alright now

muffin502

Hi Everyone

I have posted before but about a month ago now. Tiff thanks - you gave me info on DLA - I have filled in the form and have received a reply that the form is in process of being processed. I will keep my fingers crossed!

Been hovering and reading everyone's experiences of depression and what a great forum this is. It has really helped me through my latest depressive episode.

My depression started in childhood - my mum can remember be being moody and unhappy at six years old. I certainly remember writing in my diary at an early age how 'depressed' I felt. How strange to know what depressed feels like in childhood. My GP and a psychotherapist have confirmed mine is a clinical depression. I have been on ssri medication since 1997 now. However I wish I had gone to get help before this time. I just used to think I was unhappy or had permanent pmt! The medication helps me just to feel normal and enjoy each day as it comes. It stops that awful feeling of dread that I used to wake up with. My natural personality is happy, cheerful with a good sense of humour. All this disappears when I get ill - I cannot speak to people, answer the phone, I take to my bed and wait for it to pass. I cannot work and have to take months off to get well again. For anyone who has not suffered they cannot imagine what it is like - you cannot just snap out of it - it is a terrible, physically debilitating illness that ruins lives.

My current job is well paid and I have quite a bit of responsibility. I enjoy it very much when well, but my employers have not been very supportive and as I have said in previous postings, do not pay me other than ssp. I have a house and all the bills associated with that, so have had to draw on savings just to pay my way. My employer by the way is a multi million pound property developers!

My latest bout of illness started in July, and I have been off work since 29th August. However I cannot afford to be off any longer - and against my GP's advice I will be returning back tomorrow. I was on sertraline - 200mgs per day and have had to come off that slowly and I started taking duloxetine a week ago. They do seem to be slowly having an affect. By that I mean I have been able to get up and showered etc before 5.00 pm each day! Although I know it will take time to get back to feeling my normal self, I just thought that by postng my experiences it might be of help to anyone else reading this who thinks that they will never feel 'nornal' again. In my experience with clinical depression, the drugs do work but sometimes you do have to change them. I think your body can get used to one type and that after a year or so, they do not have the same effect.

In addition I am a huge believer in a good, natural diet. I follow the OS rules and I cook all mymeals from scratch. It gives me something to do and has actually been a godsend whilst I have been off work to plan my meals and cook some nice homely grub! I don't buy any ready made meals, or cakes, biscuits, crisps, snacks, avoid anything with the dreaded hydrogenated fats and take Omega 3 EPA supplements. These are extremely good for the brain - I have been reading the info on the mental health gov website - very very interesting information. I also take a good quality multi vitamin/mineral tablet too each day. I think all these combined with my medication is working together to help me. I do think eating foods full of chemicals when there is already some chemical inbalance in your brain, can only do harm. It seems to be working for me so again this may help someone else out there who is despairing of getting well.

I think I will always have this illness - it is a part of my make up. Like Stephen Fry - his programmes were really informative. I am not ashamed to tell anyone about it and I think the more people are made aware of mental illness the better it will be to get help/sympathy/support and stop the negative attitiudes to the illness that people can have. If someone had heart disease/broken bones/ or heaven forbid the c word - you would not dream of telling them to snap out of it ! Depression is just another horrible illness.

Anyway - I will stop my rambling but I really hope that I may give someone else the strength and hope to get help, take their medication and look after themselves and you will get better. It takes time and I know that when you are so down you cannot bear to get out of bed, you want to get better NOW - unfortunately the meds do not work straight away and you have to be patient. But please be patient and there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I want to send a big hug (((((((:)))))))) to everyone who posts or reads this thread and to say thanks for helping me through my latest episode by your helpful comments and sharing painful experiences etc. What a lovely bunch of survivors you all are!

I shall now be a regular poster - I hope to be able to help where I can and share thoughts with everyone else. I will let you all know how my first day back at work goes tomorrow - feel like I am starting back at school again!aaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!xx Take care and have a lovely Monday!

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

:wave: I'm still alive. Don't want to be, but I am. Thanks for your message.

Hi everyone

Good to hear from you Miroslav. Hope you do hear from her - try to take it one step at a time, but I know myelf that is far easier said than done. is there any way you can maybe contact her directly? Just a thought.

Thanks Muffin - that's really helpful info re diet and supplements - I always suspected that these might be a big factor for many people; myself included.

Flis, hope it's going ok - let us know how it went.

Hope everyone else is doing ok today too - Tiff, Rose, feelinggood, CCstar, and all you other good folk. I'll catch up with you all tonight when I'm back from work. Had another bad night last night -hardly any sleep. Makes me feel like a zombie at work the whole day (even more so than usual that is ) Anyway, it's nearly going home time, thank goodness.

Catch you all later
Saz x

jellycat40

Hi Miroslav, i got a real bee in my bonnet over you and your post!!!! I even started a separate thread.

I have been really low before and not wanted to be around any more on a permanent basis and thought you felt the same. Just me imprinting my fears on to you. Sorry.

Thanks for posting and letting us know what is happening.

Louise

jellycat40

I have been feeling slightly better today.

Still can't be asked to do anything but better.

Louise

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Hi everyone

Good to hear from you Miroslav. Hope you do hear from her - try to take it one step at a time, but I know myelf that is far easier said than done. is there any way you can maybe contact her directly? Just a thought.

Well, I've had a reply through my flatmate - she'll discuss it with her when they next meet on Sunday.........:(

That's ages away, the way i'm feeling. Too long to get a 'no' or find out she doesn't like me anyway.

Wouldn't have the guts to contact her directly, and it might scare her off even more

Miroslav

jellycat40 wrote:

Hi Miroslav, i got a real bee in my bonnet over you and your post!!!! I even started a separate thread.

I have been really low before and not wanted to be around any more on a permanent basis and thought you felt the same. Just me imprinting my fears on to you. Sorry.

Thanks for posting and letting us know what is happening.

Louise

Seperate thread?

I did feel the same, I still do, but I have to wait whilst this tiny little hope is there. By Sunday, it could well be gone, and then what? It's an average of every 7 years that someone shows a little bit of interest, so can I wait until 2013 for someone else to show half an interest, then decide i'm not enough after all?

Hope you are well