depression

Dora_the_Explorer_5

I'm truly sorry you'r going through a bad patch right now. Some practical stuff: throw the craft knives away right now - you can do it, you don't need them, you've got no use for them and you will be in control.

Secondly, your OH is living in cloud cuckoo land if he beleives he can have you sectioned. He's not that powerful. He's being unsupportive and denying you your feelings, which usually makes people feel worse rather than better, so have you wondered where he's coming from on all of this?
Do you have to go to Germany with him? It sounds like what might help you right now is some peace and quiet and stability. Could you run away just by not going with him? Take care of yourself.

feelinggood wrote:

Hey Guys,
Feeling a little better today, things just got on top of me yesterday.
Relationship problems, I've lost someone very close to me and I'm trying to cope with that.
I confessed to OH how low I'm feeling, and instead of support (which I really need) he stays up till 4am drinking, talking about how he can't cope and he feels awful when I'm depressed. I asked him if I should lie and not tell him when I'm down, and he said he'd appreciate that. I get the feeling he resents me being ill, as it means I don't do any housework. I should be able to talk to him, but I can't at all. I talked about self-harm with him the other day, just in a round-about sort of way, and he said if I ever cut myself again, he'd have me sectioned. Not the best thing to say to someone who is terrified of being sectioned!
We've got to go to Germany next week for his work, and I'm getting great urges to run off when I'm over there - when things get rough I just want to pack my bags. I'd walk of the face of the earth if I had the guts to.
I've thought about walking out, and I've thought about ending things. If I didn't feel guilty I think I would go through with it. I posted on another forum, and a lot of people said that no matter how bad a person you are, someone will still miss you. I don't want to cause anyone any pain, but its starting to look like the pain I feel just being alive is worse than the pain I'd cause those around me. I feel awful and crazy for thinking all these things, but its like I can't stop my mind going to all these dark places. Ordered some new kitchen knives with my tesco shop, the guy messed up and sent craft knives. This was back when I was well, and seeing as they were only a quid I just stuck them in a drawer and thought no more about it. Now I'm feeling like this its as if they are calling me. If I was single, and no one would know, I'd be cutting right now. Just hoping I can find the strength from somewhere.
Don't know what to do really, I'm at a complete loss.
I'm still fighting, but I feel like giving up.

feelinggood_2

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

I'm truly sorry you'r going through a bad patch right now. Some practical stuff: throw the craft knives away right now - you can do it, you don't need them, you've got no use for them and you will be in control.

Secondly, your OH is living in cloud cuckoo land if he beleives he can have you sectioned. He's not that powerful. He's being unsupportive and denying you your feelings, which usually makes people feel worse rather than better, so have you wondered where he's coming from on all of this?
Do you have to go to Germany with him? It sounds like what might help you right now is some peace and quiet and stability. Could you run away just by not going with him? Take care of yourself.

I thought he'd be more understanding really. His Dad has manic depression, so he grew up being around mental illness. And he knew when we started going out that I'd been depressed. He just takes everything really personally. I worry if he is depressed, but he says he isn't really depressed, just doesn't like it when I'm unhappy.

I could stay here, but to be honest I don't trust myself to be alone for that long. Plus, its probably going to be an open ended trip - don't know if/when were coming back.

I'm gonna go with him, I'm just going to do my best to pretend that I'm fine.
I just need to grow up and get over this. Just a bit tricky!

Horasio

jellycat40 wrote:

Thanks Tiff you talk a lot of sense.

feelinggood you sound like me!! except my OH is too protective of me. Reads on the net about depression and always trying to fix me. He asks me how I am 40 times a day.

Louise

At least he showing he cares, mine is being cold and distant to the point of cruelty.

Men love to fix things, then get pssed off when they can't or it won't be. They need to have more patience

Horasio

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

I'm truly sorry you'r going through a bad patch right now. Some practical stuff: throw the craft knives away right now - you can do it, you don't need them, you've got no use for them and you will be in control.

Secondly, your OH is living in cloud cuckoo land if he beleives he can have you sectioned. He's not that powerful. He's being unsupportive and denying you your feelings, which usually makes people feel worse rather than better, so have you wondered where he's coming from on all of this?
Do you have to go to Germany with him? It sounds like what might help you right now is some peace and quiet and stability. Could you run away just by not going with him? Take care of yourself.

OMG another man who thinks harshness will help:eek:

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Hey Guys,
Feeling a little better today, things just got on top of me yesterday.
Relationship problems, I've lost someone very close to me and I'm trying to cope with that.
I confessed to OH how low I'm feeling, and instead of support (which I really need) he stays up till 4am drinking, talking about how he can't cope and he feels awful when I'm depressed. I asked him if I should lie and not tell him when I'm down, and he said he'd appreciate that. I get the feeling he resents me being ill, as it means I don't do any housework. I should be able to talk to him, but I can't at all. I talked about self-harm with him the other day, just in a round-about sort of way, and he said if I ever cut myself again, he'd have me sectioned. Not the best thing to say to someone who is terrified of being sectioned!
We've got to go to Germany next week for his work, and I'm getting great urges to run off when I'm over there - when things get rough I just want to pack my bags. I'd walk of the face of the earth if I had the guts to.
I've thought about walking out, and I've thought about ending things. If I didn't feel guilty I think I would go through with it. I posted on another forum, and a lot of people said that no matter how bad a person you are, someone will still miss you. I don't want to cause anyone any pain, but its starting to look like the pain I feel just being alive is worse than the pain I'd cause those around me. I feel awful and crazy for thinking all these things, but its like I can't stop my mind going to all these dark places. Ordered some new kitchen knives with my tesco shop, the guy messed up and sent craft knives. This was back when I was well, and seeing as they were only a quid I just stuck them in a drawer and thought no more about it. Now I'm feeling like this its as if they are calling me. If I was single, and no one would know, I'd be cutting right now. Just hoping I can find the strength from somewhere.
Don't know what to do really, I'm at a complete loss.
I'm still fighting, but I feel like giving up.

I thought I was reading my post. I don't understand why they turn on you when you feel at a low ebb. They are not worth the self harm.

I am in a similar situation to you, there is a relatives party next month where it involves being away for a couple of nights. The rooms are booked but the thought of being with them in the car for the long journey, treating me badly and pretending to be happy at a party is filling me with horror. I would rather stay at home and let them go tbh. At least I would have a nice weekend.

I would like to leave. I have a rotten cold and feel so low. He was so horrible to me on Saturday and I can't get over it. I don't have a car or a place to run to. I don't have the energy. We are scheduled to put the house up for sale in January and then I can make plans to leave then but I need to cope with the atmosphere now and get strong enough to do it then.

Horasio

Dora_the_Explorer wrote:

I'm truly sorry you'r going through a bad patch right now. Some practical stuff: throw the craft knives away right now - you can do it, you don't need them, you've got no use for them and you will be in control.

Secondly, your OH is living in cloud cuckoo land if he beleives he can have you sectioned. He's not that powerful. He's being unsupportive and denying you your feelings, which usually makes people feel worse rather than better, so have you wondered where he's coming from on all of this?
Do you have to go to Germany with him? It sounds like what might help you right now is some peace and quiet and stability. Could you run away just by not going with him? Take care of yourself.

I don't want to alarm you but you can be sectioned if you are proven to be a danger to yourself or others. For your own sake, don't give him a reason to do this!

He sounds cruel. You don't need threats. He isn't handling your low feelings well and making it worse for you. It is his fault you feel worse, not yours! You think you have a friend in a marriage/partnership then they do that to you. No wonder you feel confused.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

I thought I was reading my post. I don't understand why they turn on you when you feel at a low ebb. They are not worth the self harm.

I am in a similar situation to you, there is a relatives party next month where it involves being away for a couple of nights. The rooms are booked but the thought of being with them in the car for the long journey, treating me badly and pretending to be happy at a party is filling me with horror. I would rather stay at home and let them go tbh. At least I would have a nice weekend.

I would like to leave. I have a rotten cold and feel so low. He was so horrible to me on Saturday and I can't get over it. I don't have a car or a place to run to. I don't have the energy. We are scheduled to put the house up for sale in January and then I can make plans to leave then but I need to cope with the atmosphere now and get strong enough to do it then.

I've thought about leaving, but I can't. I have no friends, no money, no job and if I left I'd loose my family

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

I don't want to alarm you but you can be sectioned if you are proven to be a danger to yourself or others. For your own sake, don't give him a reason to do this!

Thanks for that
I'm confident that as things stand, I'm not going to do anything. I'd rather not think about it at all, but the thoughts are there. Just gotta ignore them
Hope you are ok, if you want to talk about rotten OH's, PM me

linuspauling

I know you weren't looking for medical advice, and I haven't read the whole thread, but I know that most cases of depression (that aren't psychosocially related to e.g. the death of a loved one) can be cured with orthomolecular psychiatry.

The most prominent practitioners in the UK are the Brain Bio Centre in South-West London. https://www.mentalhealthproject.com

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

I don't want to alarm you but you can be sectioned if you are proven to be a danger to yourself or others. For your own sake, don't give him a reason to do that
He sounds cruel. You don't need threats. He isn't handling your low feelings well and making it worse for you. It is his fault you feel worse, not yours! You think you have a friend in a marriage/partnership then they do that to you. No wonder you feel confused.

Hi Guys - just popping in for a minute. Hope you're all hanging in there.
Re OH drinking and not wanting you to tell him when you're down... It sounds to me like he's depressed too. Possible, especially if manic depression is in the family. Drinking is a giveaway. Some people just don't know what to do for the best or can't cope. That's just the way we are - we find it hard to manage ourselves and expect someone else to know exactly what to do. If we are having a rough time, then we must accept that they maybe don't have the answers. That's the trouble with depression - there's no right answer.

Anyone can be voluntarily admitted to a mental health clinic. Doesn't have to be sectioned. I've had 2 admissions and they were wonderful people and gave me the rest and the help I needed. And I never met 1 axe-murderer while I was there either! the rooms are like hotel rooms and there's always staff there. Never made to feel anything other than a normal person.

If you're thinking of ending it all, or hurting yourself - TELL them. GP is your
1st stop. Or phone them - you will get an immediate response if you tell the receptionist what you're thinking and how you're feeling. We know when we're on a downward slide and that's where we DO have to take responsiblity for ourselves. If you want to get out of that hell place you're in guys, you gotta ask for help - how can you get well otherwise? I don't care whether you have to throw the whole cutlery drawer away - Dora's right, craft knives out now - not needed! We post because we're in pain or need help but we don't follow that advice. Please don't hurt yourselves guys - your story hasn't finished being written yet. Be brave and get help you deserve. There is ALWAYS another way out of any problem.
Much Love
Tiff xxx