depression

Horasio

sleepy wrote:

Thank you everyone. It' nice to know I'm not strange or being ridiculous. I did call the samaritans earlier, but I'm feeling better now my fiance is home and he's keeping me calm and sensible. Last time I felt like this was 3 years ago, so I went to a counsiller, but didn't see a doctor. Have realised now that the doctors is probably the best way forward.

It's really work that sets me off but when I'm down I just can't see any future for me. I am however really lucky to have a supportive family and a loving fiance, so I appreciate that I have more help than most. Although it has to be said, I also feel a lot of pressure to be good enough for them.

Welcome to the thread:)

I am glad you are seeking help. We are here to listen, so if you need to vent about work or anything else, please talk to us!

Have you thought about changing your job? Is it the people? Or just plain boring and dead end? You are there for a large part of your life, so it can affect the rest of it. I have had great and horrible jobs - it really affects everything else!

I also know what it is like to have family you need to live up to. But is it you pressuring you? Family dynamics are complex and there can be one member who seems perfect and favoured.

Tiff_2

blinky wrote:

I agree they won't. Okay GP's don't have all the specialist knowledge a consultant or CPN or other psychiatrist specialist have. However, clinical depression is common enough that GP's will have experience dealing with it.

That's right blinky - and even though the GP doesn't have the specialist knowledge, they provide a valuable stop gap until you can see a specialist. They will refer you in the right direction too.
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

I've never had support for what I go through in the next 3 months. Flatmate doesn't know dates and has never supported me over them.

I just hoped that 'S' and I could give and receive mutually, and that i'd found someone that cared for me, but sadly, maybe that's not the case.

I've always coped on my own, I guess I got a bit excited and thought someone could help me through for once.

Hi miro hun,
Bless you, it's certainly a fairground ride with 's' isn't it hun? I can understand that you want what all of us want - someone to love us. I'll do all I can to help you through the next 3 months - I'm sure we all will.

Now don't shout at Tiff because I mean this with all good intentions but, I don't think you're going to be able to get mutual support from 's' - she's too fragile herself angel. It caught my attention when you said you'd hoped she'd be able to help you through your hard time coming up, someone to be there to help you for once. Miro hun, that's not what the start of a relationship is for.

I can understand your joy at finding someone interested in you after so long but now others are interested too. Take heart in that angel and be proud. It shows you that you're better than you think you are. A new relationship shouldn't be this hard even though you both want it, it seems. Bless her, she's doing the best she can, but maybe that's going to do you more harm than good as it has recently? Keep her as a friend and see what grows just until you're sure.

Tbh, if your relationship runs as it has been recently, she's not able to support you especially as she can't support herself hun. I just don't want you to put all your eggs in one basket and end up with an omelette!;)

Wow, 14 years with your flatmate?! I'm glad fm has been so helpful to you. Maybe it's time to broaden your horizens hun. Things aren't looking so bleak angel with a new job (well done you!:T ) and women clawing at your door. What's important here is that you've come out of your low point, looked around and have seen this yourself! So you know it's true that people are interested in you.;) You've grown in confidence over recent months it seems from your posts hun, though you may not feel it. Well done you!

As I've said, 's' is probably giving you as much as she can and she's not very stable right now. I don't think she tells lies out of malice but maybe just when she can't cope or is very down. I just don't want to see miro get hurt. And remember, time is still new and no-one can foretell what the future holds for you and 's'.

Just be prepared to see other possibilities and keep an open mind because you need to look after yourself too! I'm not trying to burst your bubble angel - I just want to protect you from anything that may make your situation worse.
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

blinky wrote:

I am very worried about a number of people here CCStar, Rose07, Ethel, Miroslav, sleepy, welsh...

I am thinking of each and everyone of you.

I might have to take a break from this. I do want to help you all but it's draining me.

Sorry

Paul
xx

Hey hun,
For my part, in that I'm truly sorry.
I just want you to remember that no-one here is expecting anyone else to solve their problems and that you are very much appreciated by many. Do what you have to do hun, whatever's best for you.
I hope you'll come back soon Paul and I hope you've found some comfort here too.
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Some hugs for blinky from all of us, to say thank you and that we care.
:xmassign: too, just in case you can't come back before then.
Post and let us know how you are when you can, ok?
I'll leave the catflap open - just in case.;)
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

Hi

Went out last night. Felt very tired and sad due to family stress and not sleeping properly. Whilst we have spoken, I feel nothing will change.

As far as any agreement being drawn up, we have done it but my husband undermines EVERY effort I make to keep this home together, so I can't do anything. Any time I say there is something wrong, he either rants or argues to the death. He is an expert at grinding people down. It is a good skill to have when dealing with the idiots but not to use on your wife (not son) he does nothing about that. I feel sorry for our son, he must be getting some odd messages and he certainly doesn't know how to deal with money.
I feel we are at the end, I have tried talking but my husband has a bad attitude. It is making me ill again, and realise it isn't hormones. I can't get ill again.
I say I want to put the house on the market but need them to pack !!!!!!! Our son has a job list as long as his arm but doing very few, I know he has exams but we all have commitments. I can't train him to be a 'true' adult with my husband around undermining me. I feel I am trying to climb a slippery vertical slope.
Our son is nearly 19, so is a man. That was our hard earned savings he has 'stolen' from us. It was always the money NOT TO BE TOUCHED!! and set in stone. He broke his deal and I have felt very depressed since last weekend.

Hi cc,
Everything you say is right hun. It seems like you have all the emotional workload. There's an organization called Doorway for 16-25 year olds and they help them learn to budget, bill paying, menu planning, sort housing out for them and teach them about the day to day running of a house. This is just info for anyone it might help.

You've got a kind heart cc and you're a very strong person. You're doing all you can and I think it's wonderful that you so obviously love DS and worry for him. But that's a mother's job desciption isn't it angel?;) Your problem seems to be more with your OH than DS from what you say cc - but I guess you already know that don't you hun? You're bound to be stressed right now hun - anyone would with the OH & DS situation, preparing for a house sale, Christmas and on top of all that you're managing your ill health. Don't put yourself down angel - you're stronger than you think. What a little fighter you are! :T :grouphug: Just try and think cc, in a few weeks you'll be in a much stronger position and have more choices open to you. Take care hun
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

Thank you

I feel I am a decent person and felt I was being a good mother. I can't fight a bad father and husband too. I paint my husband to be a total monster, of course there are times we are fine, but this has been an underlying problem since we got married.

We had to get out of debt when we first married and I had to be strong and it made me controlling. I have been accused of being too controlling. I was 17 when I married so did the best I could. I feel he has been rebelling against me ever since. He was more childish than I was, he was 30. I thought it was my hormones but since having them dealt with, I realise he contributed to a major part of our problems.

I am doing my best and tried many approaches. I am tired and don't feel that strong any more. I can only do my best and dealing with stupid stubborn 'donkeys' I call them. I don't know what else I can do anymore. For my health, I have to leave. Our son is an adult, he won't listen to me, I can't watch him turn into a loser. I have done my best as a mother, against a lot of aggro and bad health. I have to accept I cannot manage donkeys.

BRAVO CC! :T
You have no reason not to hold your head up with pride!
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi gilly!:hello:

gillette147 wrote:

Hi guys,
Has anyone heard from Ethel? I'm thinking of you and really hope you are ok.
CC big hug and thoughts to you.
Tiff (and sazbo)
Yes I can tell you're on my case Tiff.
Yes I am!;) I'm getting good at it, aren't I?:rolleyes: Between the wonderful Sazzy and little old me, you don't stand a chance, so you may as well surrender now!


I'm numb today. My mood lifts if I forget all of it but that doesn't get the babby washed as we say. If I try to deal with it I drop down again. I have waived my rights to compensation when I took redundancy - I did this under advice from physio when she said there is nothing major wrong with my back. I almost wish there was so I could just go on benefits and opt out of all this carp.
Hun, whether you're working, unemployed, married, single, you can still be entitled to apply for Disability Living Allowance. This benefit is not means tested. It applies even if mental ill health is your only diagnosis. You just have to have been ill for a while and that your illness is likely to last more than 6 months. It's a devil to fight for if you don't have the help to fill in the form, (you should see CAB or DIAL for help filling it in) but it will be worth a try hun.;)
I don't know if i'm depressed or just selfish - even coming on here just seems like being a drama queen. But I am unhappy, alone and daunted by life. Worse without job because I feel the pressure of an unsustainable life (bills to pay) but generally feel like it anyway. I put an act on of optimissm but it can only be kept up for a couple of days. Yes I love trees and music etc but so what. This is a worthless lonely life i'm living. I can say that without even being depressed when I say it. If my passing wouldn't hurt anybody I would probably go - in a quite undramatic way.
This sounds so much like depression talking angel. I hope you've seen the GP hun. You have nothing to lose gilly. Think how amazing your life could be if you only took a chance and got some more help. You deserve it for yourself. You are not being a drama queen (trying to take my title away from me huh?! :rotfl: ) at all - you make perfect sense.
I have tinnnitus and my future is probably of deafness (and madness if I can't escape the noises) anyway.
Already another reason you may qualify for DLA. Just make sure that you call for a claim pack straight away, even if you're not sure you'll use it because they only backdate payments to the day they send you the form. And you only have a few weeks to get the form back to them. As with everything else, better sooner than later hun. And you could book an appointment with CAB or DIAL while you're at it.;)
I love my sister and her kids (and my mom I guess lol) but they've got there own lives and only want me as a bit player. I don't take advice well and something in me rebels against doing the right thing sometimes. I know the "how to swallow an elephant - bit by bit approach" but I just want it all to go away on its own. I'm making myself go out tonite to a salsa do - but i don't want to.
Sexy salsa will be good for you and you seem to enjoy it gilly. :T Well done - you're doing something to lift your mood. You mean a lot more to your family than you think you do hun. If you were suddenly not alive, they would be devastated! I only mean my advice in kindness hun because I know what a difference some extra support can make. Sadly and being brutally honest angel - it is not going to go away all on it's own. It takes experiences and time to create mental ill health and it takes the same to resolve it. Your problems didn't appear overnight hun. Taking that first step is what's scary but you deserve the best life you can get angel.
I've been waiting for the dole forms all week - i feel trapped by them - i want someone to say "treat the next week as a holiday" but i'm not on holiday, i'm out of work! Groan.

You think of next week however you want to hun - whatever helps to get you through. If the dole forms aren't here today, it's time to do some door-knocking - or I'll send them a Tiff letter!:rolleyes:
For what it's worth this time of year can be the hardest with pictures of happy families and the perfect Christmas jumping in your face every 5 minutes - it makes a lot of people feel worse. It's important to enjoy what you can out of it and you never know what the future holds hun. You hang in there ok?:grouphug:
Ok Saz - your turn!:eek: :rotfl:
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi Rose!!!:hello:
Have kept you in my thoughts and sending psychic hugs.:rolleyes:

rose07 wrote:

hi hun
yeah things are very scary at the moment, and im afraid its only getting worse. i think the thing is, there are a lot more people iller than me, eg: pre natal depression, and schizophenic and things, so i dont think im that important ya know? there is only one place for mental ill people on the island i live and soo we are all bunged together as it were, and its very hard hun.
Yes hun, I'm afraid that's generally true of most mental ill health clinics. Sadly, facilities are stretched. If you weren't very ill angel, you'd have been out on your ear on day2! You deserve to be there rosie and I'm proud of you for knowing that yourself and for recognizing yurself that you're ill.
Oh kirsty is great, i was told today by my personal nurse that me and kirsty are the soul of the ward, which is great. but if they could really see how much im dying inside, then they would see its not all fun and games. but it does cheer me up to see her, we played football in the garden today that was funi. and we went for a walk to the shop, and lied down together. it is nice to have a friend there. but i am in all weekend too and she doesnt go in on the weekend and only certain times during the week, so it hard, but the other people that are there, esp a guy called john and a girl called emily have kinda taken me under there wing as it were, and im now accepted as it were in the ward everyone is alright so we are all mad but it is why we are all there.
It's a strange phenomenon hun - you go in, petrified of finding axe murderers etc, and when you've been there a couple of days, you realise that most of the other clients (we're not called patients - it sounds more dignified doesn't it?) are poor souls like yourself going through a really hard time. That's how it was for me. I'd totally withdrawn and isolated myself at home and everything scared me - I couldn't even answer the phone. You seem to develop almost a camardarie with your fellow clients because none of you want to be ill and there's almost a bond there in that respect. I was almost disappointed that there wasn't one axe murderer on our ward :eek: but you'll find that most people are there voluntarily, because they realised they couldn't cope alone anymore. The rooms are almost like basic hotel rooms with your own ensuite bathroom. I'm so glad you're making friends rose.:T
thanks hun
soz to hear about this relationship hun, seems a few people here are stressed by relationships, ccstar, fg, ethel, and tiff (you wonderful thing)
Me? I'm not in a relationship...unless you count the greeter at Asda!:rotfl:
but let me tell ya a little story of me own, yep i promise it will be little

i have been in all kind of relationships, abusive, violent, controlling, manipulative, fragile, rocky, sexual, and so the list continues, i have got involved with drug dealers, alchoholics, abusers, violent and people that have thier own problems themselves and all this only have bad efffects on ourselves. one of my exes set someone on fire, that how messed up he was, he liked blowing things up and that, another beat me soo hard that i was very bruised, but he never touched my face, why was that i wonder? and another one was an alchoholic and i became an alchoholic too, another well he stabbed his best mate, and well tried to stab me, i was a bit like you tiff and ran (its not being weak huni, its being strong). and then there are a few where they were soo hard, like you would get soo involved with how they felt and trying to help them and support them, that you wouldnt see yourself getting hurt in the process.
one relationship i lost something soo dear that i never talk about it.
and another thing an ex of mine hung himself due to drugs he woulda only been about 19 at the time, i have to say thats something i try and block too huni.
its all very hard stuff, but we are still here.
It's so sad hun, but we can't help the past can we? I'm sure we'd all want to. But I think that I've helped myself by repeating the word 'past' in my mind whenever I feel very low. I'm trying to learn to think of the past events like a ledger of accounts - you have to draw a line under the last entry, which then gives you a fresh sheet. But sometimes I know, the past grabs us by the ankle, tugging away and saying 'I'm still here'. You can't get rid of the past but I'm learning to control it - I hope!;)
ok so i said this was gonna be short didnt i :rolleyes:
ok so what im trying to say is, if people hurt us, then we can choose how we react, we can say, you really hurt me with what you said/did, or we can shout, argue fight punch even, till we have no energy left. and its about a balance between the two people in the relationship, now im not saying nothing bad here. i just trying to say as long as we love the person and they treat you right then make things work for the better. it sounds hard for you hun, its very hard when we love someone soo much and they dont love us the same back...xxxx

You are being very brave and I'm proud of the progress you're making - because you ARE making progress Rose. You'd never have opened up to people before would you? You hang in there ok? Well done hun.;)
Much Love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Rose - don't make me get my wellies out!:D

rose07 wrote:

oh and one last thing.....
TIFF now you may kill me for this ([strike]youd be doing me a favour[/strike])
Oh you may get your wish yet - lemee at 'er!;)
ok everyone as you all may know this is tiffs bad, bad time, with alot of anniversaries, well tomorrow is one of tiff's very bad anniversaries,
and i hope you will all join me in sending big hugs and positive vibes to our tiff.
Thank you angel - that's most kind of you. Yes today (Saturday) is a bad one - I was caught off-guard with this - I thought you'd have forgotten with your memory hun!:rolleyes: Should have known better!;)
hun i love ya, your a wonderful person, and im thinking about you alot. ok and if you need me tomorrow, or any other time you know where to find me here ya go tiff this is me always got ya back

http://www.cutelittlekittens.com/files/images/general/cuddles_963.jpg

:grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug:HUGE HUG ALERT HUNI :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

keep going hun, its clear you are a strong tiff.
SAZ you may wanna leave lots a milk out just incase tomorrow.
milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, :rotfl:
hun i will be thinking of you all day, while im locked up
and sending lots a hugs and positive vibes your way
your not alone hun and you will make it through this tough time
Thank you hun. Right back at ya! There's a lot worse off than me I know. here's Tiffy's hugs for your weekend angel. Now you stay away from that dizzy water you hear? Don't you make me and Saz come over there! (The whip belongs to Saz!:D ) Look after yourself angel.:grouphug:

Yes, you got the date right! The one time I want you to be wrong and you had to get it right! :rolleyes:
(oh carp i hope i have the right day tomorrow my memory soo carp:rotfl: )
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi Ethel,
I just wanted to say hello and make sure you're ok angel? Thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. We miss you hun!:grouphug: You know where we are if you need us angel.
Much Love
Tiff xxx