depression

blinky

Miroslav wrote:

I know i've lost her and right now i'm deeply depressed. I'm never going to let anyone in again. It took me 5 1/2 years to let someone in, and she has reminded me of why I don't let people in, because I get hurt.

You might not have lost her. You've said in countless posts 'S' can be erratic. Just give her some time.

We all need to let people in. Yes, we risk getting hurt but it is worthwhile.

Miroslav wrote:

I just can't do it anymore

Yes, you can. It's the depression talking / thinking at the moment.

There is hope
It is worthwhile
Thing will get better but it will take time. There may be setbacks on the way - try not to be disheartened by them.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, although you might see it at present.
You have a lot to offer the world.

Very worried about you.

blinky

I am very worried about a number of people here CCStar, Rose07, Ethel, Miroslav, sleepy, welsh...

I am thinking of each and everyone of you.

I might have to take a break from this. I do want to help you all but it's draining me.

Sorry

Paul
xx

elona

Tiff


Huge hug and we are thinking of you.

Miro

Please do not despair - S does not know what she wants at the moment - it is not you.

Let things calm down and give yourself a chance - you deserve it.

Sazbo

blinky wrote:

I am very worried about a number of people here CCStar, Rose07, Ethel, Miroslav, sleepy, welsh...

I am thinking of each and everyone of you.

I might have to take a break from this. I do want to help you all but it's draining me.

Sorry

Paul
xx

Hey blinky ((big hugs)) please don't be sorry at all. You care about people here and that in itself makes a big, big difference. It's not for you to take it all on your shoulders ok? None of us here can. That's the truth. You have to concentrate on getting yourself well, as we all do. So promise that's what you'll do ok? We're all thinking of you too, you've done so much to help people on this thread, thanks so, so much for that but we want to know you're getting better too. So you get some rest, enjoy the weekend and tell me when I need to buy a hat ok hun? You take care, Saz x

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

Well, it took a while, but after a huge row with flatmate, we took a card, teddy bear and a list of 20 positives about 'S' to her place and left outside her inner door. Flatmate then text her to let her know, but has had no response.

I know i've lost her and right now i'm deeply depressed. I'm never going to let anyone in again. It took me 5 1/2 years to let someone in, and she has reminded me of why I don't let people in, because I get hurt.

I see horrible people with families and friends, yet someone like me who is really caring, ends up with no-one who cares about him.

I can't do it anymore, i've lost someone I care so much for. It's all well and good saying she'll write, but she won't. It's all well and good saying it's not forever, but if she doesn't want to know me now, so why when it suits her?

She said we'd support each other, always be there for each other, but now, in my 3 months of most need, she isn't there. Just another who promised the world, and gave little. My things matter too, or maybe they don't after all.

I need some time alone, I can't handle people right now. Things will never change, I was born to be hurt. I told my flatmate to get out of my life. She refused, but right now, I don't want anyone.

It's too hard, I miss my partner and litle girl too much, and when I let myself have a chance of being happy again, my heart gets ripped out.

I just can't do it anymore

Miro I do feal for you,you said "It took me 5 1/2 years to let someone in, and she has reminded me of why I don't let people in, because I get hurt." It took me 8 yrs but if we never let anyone in we have NO chance of finding someone to care.I know you are fealing very bad at the moment and that its a bad time for you.Of course you miss your partner and little girl but you have survived this long and you will find happiness one day i am sure because you are such a caring guy.As to "S" she did tell your flatmate she wanted to see you again.I am sure she does care but because she is so messed up with her own problems.I do not think she is strong enough to support you.I know she said she would but from your posts i don't think she has the strength.It is not her fault,some people can give and take and some are so damaged or "need" so much that they just cannot give support.

Sazbo

rose07 wrote:

saz, hi hun, how the sazter? well work sounds like its keeping you busy but yey :T :T :T , 5 days off, extra long weekend for saz then, now you make sure you have some saz time, treat yaself, i wanna hear of at least one thing you have done o treat yourself when those days are up!!!, (yes i can be hard like tiff too ), oh thanks for the milk hun , puuurrrrrrrrr , purrrrrrr, rosie brushes up gainst sazzies leg. take care huni xxxx

now tiff, i am keeping my eye on you, i know this is your bad, bad, bad time, SAZ, keep an eye on tiff, she only a kitten really

Hi rosie. Sazter is pooped! It's official! I'm gonna need to stop posting in a minute and veg out in front of the tv for a bit. Yes, definitely looking forward to some time off the next few days, but I will keep an eye in Tiff. You take care now ok? Just keep taking it one day at a time. Take care, Saz x

blinky

Sazbo wrote:

Hey blinky ((big hugs)) please don't be sorry at all. You care about people here and that in itself makes a big, big difference. It's not for you to take it all on your shoulders ok? None of us here can. That's the truth. You have to concentrate on getting yourself well, as we all do. So promise that's what you'll do ok? We're all thinking of you too, you've done so much to help people on this thread, thanks so, so much for that but we want to know you're getting better too. So you get some rest, enjoy the weekend and tell me when I need to buy a hat ok hun? You take care, Saz x

Thanks Sazbo.

I wish I could do more to help.

Sorry is probably the word I use the most

Can't see you needing a hat in the near future

sleepy

Thank you everyone. It' nice to know I'm not strange or being ridiculous. I did call the samaritans earlier, but I'm feeling better now my fiance is home and he's keeping me calm and sensible. Last time I felt like this was 3 years ago, so I went to a counsiller, but didn't see a doctor. Have realised now that the doctors is probably the best way forward.

It's really work that sets me off but when I'm down I just can't see any future for me. I am however really lucky to have a supportive family and a loving fiance, so I appreciate that I have more help than most. Although it has to be said, I also feel a lot of pressure to be good enough for them.

Horasio

gillette147 wrote:

Thanks Sazbo xx

Telling the doctor I'm depressed feels like a huge step. Feels like they will slap me and tell me to get over it.

My tinnutus has got alot worse in the last month. I'm beginning to wonder if I have a reoccurrence of the Klestiatoma I had sugically removed two years ago. It's throbbing for the first time today. I'm still in BUPA until the end of the year so I might phone the hospital about it.

Sympathies to you for having tinnitus. I would ring BUPA whilst you can go private, it is so much quicker!

Tinnitus can be very depressing and I am sure your GP would be very sympathetic.

Is it Cholesteatoma?

Do you have a perforated eardrum? My husband has this condition that needs an operation to remove it.

Can you tell me what you had done?, it sounds very scary.

Has it improved the condition?

Sorry for all the questions but I don't come across people who have had had an ear operation every day.

Horasio

Big hugs to everyone

I had a good evening tonight;)

It makes it even more confusing ........?

Going with the nice feeling while it lasts but making sure I don't get hurt