depression

ailuro2

Was diagnosed with pnd after I had dd, was during wintertime,so could have been seasonal.

Last year I was diagnosed,finally, with seasonally affected disorder/depression,after a bunch of thyroid,diabetes,hormone blood tests.The first dr tried to get me to basically pull my socks up and take time to rule out the causes of the depression before he agreed it could be SAD:mad: The prescription he gave me for Citalopram was filled straight away.No way could I bear to live like that,I'm normally pretty stable mood wise but I felt like I was being stolen away.

I work in a factory where I get no daylight so from Mon-Fri I see no daylight.
It's a big place with security, so it's not really an option to leave at lunchtime.

DH has always been a bit affected too,he's a shiftworker so sees daylight on backshift and his days off. Last year he took vitamin D which really helped him. I took it too, but started a bit too late,I think,for it to help.

Anyway, this year I want to try light therapy aswell as vitamin D to try and keep the symptoms at bay. Anyone had any success with it?

I agree to a certain extent that we all need to work out what the external factors,if any, may be contributing to our symptoms, and try to improve them where we can,take exercise, get out to meet people, etc. but when I was at my lowest I looked around and saw a nice house, a healthy bank account,a lovely family,job I like,was still trying to go to the gym and was eating healthily. What more could I do ?

but... at the end of the day I wouldn't hobble round on a broken leg hoping it would get better, I'd take action as soon as I broke it.Same goes for being depressed, I find if I catch it early on I don't get too bad.

Mrs_A.

hi all i have been having an awful time recently not even had the energy or motivation to post although i have been skimming the posts
after a disasterous day at work yesterday i came home to two of my teenage sons fighting and argueing i couldnt handle it anymore i went to the shed got the stanley knife sat in the shed and cut my arm and leg its not the first time i have done this but the relief it gives me is worth it.
HELP PLEASE

williamo_2

Mrs_A. wrote:

hi all i have been having an awful time recently not even had the energy or motivation to post although i have been skimming the posts
after a disasterous day at work yesterday i came home to two of my teenage sons fighting and argueing i couldnt handle it anymore i went to the shed got the stanley knife sat in the shed and cut my arm and leg its not the first time i have done this but the relief it gives me is worth it.
HELP PLEASE

You shouldn't be harming yourself, get to the doctors as soon as possible and tell them whats happened if you want to talk send me a pm please dont do anything like that again its not fair on you or your family if you are harming yourself

rose07

ailuro2 hi i am afraid i dont know much about tablets.
your work does sound a little stressful though not seeing sunlight and being away from it this may not help with how you feel. but you seem tp have a positive attitude and know what to do sometimes, keep it up and we are all here if you need us.
x

Mrs A, have been wondering where you were, missed you
first of big hug as i understand how you are feeling.
ok i know that sometimes it can feel great to cut yourself and harm yourself in some way, as even though you are so fed up, by cutting yourself it can make you feel good.
But it is not the thing to do, i used to harm myself all the time, could see no way out so i would hurt myself anyway i could, i felt guilty and great at the same time after i had done it, but when i realised it was hurting others i stopped.
you say it was your kids that tipped you over the edge, i can understand this but there are better ways to cope. try and distract yourself from cutting by doing something different with your hands can be anything. even if its just throwing a ball against a wall.
ok i know i sound like im preaching or whatever but im concerned. have you seen a councellor or psychiatrist? harming yourself is serious i ended up in hospital many a times due to it, please think about going to see your GP and telling him/her how you feel.
we can let it beat us or we can fight it
we are all here if you need to talk, just keep talking and tell us how you are.
if you need to talk anytime dont hesitate to pm me.
((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))
xxxx

msmicawber

Dear Mrs A.,

I'm so sorry to read your post. I think sometimes when you feel in constant misery, it's a relief to have a tangible source of pain, such as a cut. Are you taking any medication? If so, please make sure that you tell your GP that you have cut yourself and get your medication changed as this can be a side effect. If you're not taking any medication, then perhaps you might benefit from a course of anti-depressants or counselling.

A very good GP that helped me a few years ago told me that counselling helps those whose depression has its roots in their personal circumstances, whereas anti-depressants help those whose depression has non-circumstantial causes. He took me off the anti-depressants I was on and I immediately lost the urge to cut. I then had a session of counselling which did help put some of my demons to rest. I hope this helps you.

Very best wishes, and please seek some help.

Mrs_A.

ok folks for those of you that dont know here is my long and boring story
i have had chronic depression for 17 years i have been on and off anti depressants for most of that time, i was cutting myself about 5 years ago but i managed to get over it (dunno how) maybe it was the anti depressants i dunno.
anyway i am now a qualified nurse looking after frail elderly people and work seems to be the only thing giving me a purpose just now. im very exhausted every day and i have just had my paroxitine put up to 40mg daily, i have seen a psychaitrist last month who has referred me for cbt once a week at the local psychiatric day hospital, i am terrified that work find out as i am deeply ashamed of this illness and although i would love the sympathy i know i just wouldnt get any there, neither do i get it from my extended family. i realise i said earlier that work was giving me a purpose but only in that it gets me out of bed every day and washed and dressed otherwise i wouldnt bother, its been a particlulary stressful and unhappy few weeks for me at work and coming home to my kids fighting last night was the final straw i had to cut myself again last night. i am sure that my job is one of the causes of my illness that and a particularly horrifying child hood, i would dearly love to give up this loathsome job but i simply cant afford to and i dont know when the cbt will start and im too deeply ashamed to tell my gp who although is great i think that in my profession i should keep alll aspects of this hellish illness to myself as much as possible. i only come on here for support and advice and to be the real me i suppose.
regards
and many thanks
mrs a

rose07

thanks for telling us your story
i dont think you should feel ashamed of you illness, it is a very commmon thing, and more people have it more so than they prob realise.
and if people look strange at you thn thy clearly dont understand. but you gotta give everything a go once hun, so maybe you should tell your Gp or work about things, i know you may not want to, but sometimes we need to do the things we dont want to to keep going.
and you have two kids is that right? well that in itself is a wonderful thing.
even though they do your head in dont they keep you going at the same time? do they know about your illness?
you can get support here anytime
take care
x

beverleyhills

Mrs A

Sorry that you have been on a downer lately. I have missed you writing your debt dairy and I'm sure others have too.
Sorry I can't help with anything constructive on dealing with your depression; just to say that you have a lot of friends here.:grouphug:

Tiff_2

Hi Mrs.A,
It sounds like you need to apply for DLA - that would give you the help you need financially. Posted info here on it a few days ago.
You are too ill to work & this particular line of nursing might not be suitable right now for you.
If you want to get the help you're shouting for, you have to tell your GP everything. As a nurse you will know full well that you can only get the right treatment if all the team knows the 100% truth.
I don't know the people you work with but I would expect the other nurses to be sympathetic & admire the way you coped for the last 17 years. When you decide that you can't take any more & ask for the help AND accept it, everything else, all the other problems, will somehow fall into place & be dealt with.
I know you're hurting right now mrs.a but I think your post sounded very angry. Sometimes we can be the ones that find it hard to accept this illness.
Take the advice of the others here and go get that help - you know where it is angel - and do it Monday. That will be a much better way of venting your anger/pain than causing even more pain to yourself and others by self-harming. If you don't ask for that help hun, you're just going to go downhill so deep breath, put your pride to one side and ask for the help you deserve.

Tiff_2

Hi Gang
Sorry I'm so behind - I have some more answers for you Jina & I haven't forgotten about you LRS or WilliamO or Rose or indeed, any of you. Will hopefully have more time tomorrow & hopefully the computer won't be on the blink off & on.
Be kind to yourselves guys - and give others the chance to do the same.
Much Love x