depression

EthelBloggs

Sazbo wrote:

Ethel I'm really sorry you're having a tough time with the b/f. You say you've asked him to leave and he won't go - do you think you could leave him? That way you'd be free? A tough ask, I know, but would that be at all possible? Sx

its MY house.. I've lived here for 13 years... he's been here for 2.. not paid anything towards it or done anyting to it soo....... nope, lol
We were having words on yahoo.. but he's blocked me now sooo..... blahhhh.. lol

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Earth to 'S', earth to 'S' - we have contact.

Tesco shopping with flatmate, and she rings flatmate.......

They agree to meet on Friday, i'm getting more and more aggitated.....she hasn't phoned or text me

Anyway, flatmate says she has some good news, but I say I don't want to know..........then I say go on then........

1. She's decided to stay

2. She loved my song and apparently was quite emotional about it on the phone and couldn't quite believe I had done it for her..

So...........

Why the hell am I so miserable?

Maybe tomorrow she'll change her mind again? She'll be off, or decide the song is pants??

I don't know.........I'm delighted she's staying, but i'm also confused.......why? Why is she staying? Flatmate says it may be because of the CD, as it's the day she received it she gets in touch. It may be because of me, or both of us as we are nice to her, or maybe a combination of the whole lot??

She confuses the living daylights out of me..........what's next? I'm moving to Mars, but it's okay, my Lilt powered space buggy can let me come and see you on weekends? I've done a song for you MmmMiro - It's a cover of Radiohead's 'Creep'



She has text me

"The song is fantastic"

"You sing great"

"I've decided to stay"

"Can we meet next Tuesday?"

Huh?

A reply to my other text messages would be nice

I've not replied

I'm either gonna

1. Reply :rolleyes:
2. Wait a couple of days and reply
3. Write a note and drop it in her box (:o)
4. Never reply



I'm ecstatic she is staying, but miserable............yeah I know, i'm a twit!

I did buy her some choccies for her Christmas Chocolate Stocking we are making up, so it encouraged me.

Flatmate says she may find it hard to understand me. She's not used to me. She looks at guys as money grabbers and use her for sex, and she's confused by me, she doesn't know how to be with me etc etc.

My head is spinning

Hun it's understandable you feel confused. It might well be what you wanted to hear, on the face of it - that she's staying, but the fact that it's all relayed via flatmate... I've said it before, I'd find that really frustrating having to communicate via third party. So, there is good news - a) she's staying and b) she loved your song - both of which you probably would have bet against? But you still don't know where you stand which is entirely fair enough, because you didn't hear it all for yourself. I'd say hang fire till Friday, if you can - sweetheart I know you're fit to bursting with all this, but maybe at this early stage S feels more comfortable with flatmate as a mediator, as frustrating as that undeniably is for you, maybe see it as confirmation that she does want you in her life - she's said she wants to stay after all? And maybe she feels with flatmate's help she lessens the chance of scr*wing everything up? Just my thoughts, as ever Mr Miro... Sxxx

Sazbo

EthelBloggs wrote:

its MY house.. I've lived here for 13 years... he's been here for 2.. not paid anything towards it or done anyting to it soo....... nope, lol
We were having words on yahoo.. but he's blocked me now sooo..... blahhhh.. lol

He's blocked you? Charming :rolleyes: In that case, I have to say I agree with Miro - change the locks. It's horrid I know hun, but at some stage someone has to put your needs into the picture, so the best person to do that is you sweetheart, y'now? Sxxxx

EthelBloggs

yeah.. you're right.. I'm tired of having these big conversations with him about both our needs and thinking we've made progress only to find he's forgotten all about it a few hours later. I dont think things are ever going to change.. and I really can't be bothered with it all anymore.. as far as I'm concerned he's become one more item on my list of stress creators and he's one that I can do without so that's what I'm going to do.. just the getting him to realise that is the problem now, lol

elona

He just needs to realise that you are not his mum or his landlady - Goodbye!

EthelBloggs

Anyway.. hows you? hope you['ve had a reasonably good day sazzy xxx

I'm sorry for ranting on about me me me when i know there are so many others in a worse situation than i am

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

lol miro.. I duno what to do anymore... I haven't cooked in ages, its been takeways or microwave dinners, I crawl into bed and crash out almost immediately so..... no action there... we rarely spend time together because when I'm home I'm either studying or doing housework. I really can't see what the appeal of being here anymore is I'm sure he's just as fed up and miserable with the situation as I am but he simply won't budge, the only advantage to him being here as opposed to moving back to his own town is the travelling time to work

As Elona says, you aren't his mother or landlady, it's about time he became a man!

Miroslav

geminilady wrote:

"S" Is staying and your miserable? thought it was what you wanted.I can understand you being upset because she did not answer your text(been there bought the t-shirt)but she is STAYING so you have a much better chance of making it work.PLUS she loves your song and wants to meet Tuesday! you should be over the moon maybe you are suffering from shock lol.You could reply and say you would love to meet Tuesday but you had been wondering all week why she did not answer your text or make contact.No harm in mentioning it.I think more problems are caused in relationships by people not been honest about their feeling and not saying how they feal.If you don't tell them how on earth will they know?people are not mind readers.I do think her asking to meet is a big step forward and she really does like you just confused because you are unlike anyone she has ever met.

Well, confused. Of course I am delighted, I just hope my song and the words had something to do with it.

It may be shock, yes. I was so convinced she was a goner.

Honesty is a problem. I'm honest, she isn't. She's not a liar as such, she just exaggerates and tries to make herself interesting.

I am different, I hope in a good way. She deserves respect and affection, which she gets from no other guy.

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

its MY house.. I've lived here for 13 years... he's been here for 2.. not paid anything towards it or done anyting to it soo....... nope, lol
We were having words on yahoo.. but he's blocked me now sooo..... blahhhh.. lol

Still not a man then.........

Maybe a teletubbies DVD for Xmas?

I'm sure he's a lovely guy, but how long can you be miserable for? You deserve more respect and equality, not a young man's disrespect and demands.

Sazbo

EthelBloggs wrote:

Anyway.. hows you? hope you['ve had a reasonably good day sazzy xxx

I'm sorry for ranting on about me me me when i know there are so many others in a worse situation than i am

You don't need to apologise at all. And it's not a rant. As CCStar would say, this situation matters to YOU! So it matters And as Elona just said - you are not his mother - you always trying to make things ok for him, always anticipating his needs, the least you owe to yourself is to make him see that's just not going to cut it anymore... big hugs sweeheart xxxx