depression

Horasio

I am wanting to do something with my life too. Seeing people doing courses makes me want to do one.

I have toyed with doing an OU course for years in either Psychology, Sociology or Counselling. I'm not sure what career I can do if I do go ahead. I know I can pass, as I have always done well academically. Getting work has been my problem. Bad (mostly male) attitudes have been my barrier. I don't want to alienate the men on this forum but since being married my husband, I have felt men have been a nasty obstacle tbh. I was fine with men before then.

I passed my Business Studies degree in 1986, had been married 4 years and got a lot of discrimination as I had been married a while (even then sexism was rife) so I got rejection after rejection. I had enough of that in my marriage, so gave up and stuck to my comfort zones. I couldn't take any more rejection in my life.

I fell pregnant a year later due to my hormone troubles (long story) and that was it really, I thought I would dedicate my life to being a mother after that.

I have trained in Counselling, as I love to help people. I would like to get an official qualification so I can officially practice but then people say it is difficult to get into. I can't cope with hearing that when I have a deadening home life on top. It is all too much

I sometimes wish I could go back (silly I know) and split from my husband in 1994 and pursued my dreams then. I stayed because I had a 6 year old child. I often wonder if it was the right thing to do as it hasn't been that great since and felt stagnant most of the time. I stayed so neither of us would be single parents.

I can only go forward. Our son will be 19 in February and if we sell up, we will release the money. Trouble is I don't know where to go, don't know many people, as I have closed myself up over the years to protect myself from any more hurt. My mother is a control freak as well, so don't want to be too near her either but she will be putting some of the deposit down on a place in the south, so how do I say no to her?

I don't want to leave, find myself being rejected all the time and wish I hadn't left. I feel rejected enough being here, so being alone and rejected is worse, I don't know, I'm feeling confused.

Horasio

EthelBloggs wrote:

hiya paul.. yeah I'm a 'mature' student, lol Social Policy with Criminology and mostly loving it, just there's an awful lot of reading and if I didn't have other commitments I'd be absolutely fine, ya know? My mum is pretty old and her health isn't good so she does need lots of help.. I've got children and a cat and a lazy b/f and sometimes I do a bit of part time work, plus my daughter is in a long term hospital 90 mins from home (would only be 20 if I still had a car) and it just seems that I have to fight to get study time or time for me. You're right.. I do plod along pushing myself and then I crash every so often.

Bf doesn't think there's anything wrong with me so no help there, even tho I've explained to him lots of times the whats and why's etc.. grrrr he seems to forget or something, I dunno.

awww.. it's lovely hearing about you and 'R' There's nothing like the beginnings of a new relationship.. it's all so shiny and lovely and exciting.. I've got everything crossed for you to have a lovely time with her

Enjoy your day off and the shopping - reminds me I've got to do mine too. Urrggh.. I hate shopping, lol

Cya soon

PS I've no experience of nlp or the other thing you mentioned, although I do have a therapist who's about as much good as a cup of cold sick! Just takes up time I could spend on something more productive, lol gawd I'm cynical

I swear families hold you back but sympathise with your situation. You have a lot on your plate and you have to do it all alone, no wonder you are tired.

What are you going to do when you pass your course?

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

I have trained in Counselling, as I love to help people. I would like to get an official qualification so I can officially practice but then people say it is difficult to get into.

I think it's definitely worth looking into, CCS. There are so many openings for people with counselling training, in many different settings. Something I'd like to do myself. Also, I imagine it's might be something you can start part-time then build up, so worth thinking about... x

Sazbo

Peeps, I have to go to another work leaving-do in about half an hour - LOL they're dropping like flies in this place!! :rotfl: Then this evening I'm being taken out to dinner by my upstairs neighbours, by way of apology for wrecking my living-room ceiling when they had new flooring put down........ [Mental Note to Self: Must choose most expensive thing on the menu......:T :beer: ] But I will try and check in after I get back tonight.

Much love,
Saz x

Horasio

I have just wasted my time and energy trying to talk to idiots. My husband and son. They have no idea what they do and of course husband is blaming me for causing trouble. He is ranting in the other room as I write and I can hear him. I feel so panicky.

I need to get away asap - he has held me back for 25 years with his horrible behaviour. I used to think it was my fault but he has contributed by making me feel wrong and I have tried to change so things could be OK.

flis21

Hey All,

How is everyone? Sorry I have not been around recently. Rabbit chewed through one of my internet cables, so we couldn't get online for a few days.

Haven't read through all the posts as there are pages and pages of them. Just thought I would check in, let you know that I am ok and see how everyone is doing.

blinky

Sazbo wrote:

Hang on, oh yes I do - people we live with should be supportive. **Saz pinches herself and wakes up from dream**

Unfortunately, this is often not the case

Okay, came in from work and saw the sad news that the England cricketer, Marcus Trescothick, had dropped out of the Ashes Tour due to a stress related illness. (I think I'd find cricket balls whistling past my nose at 90+ mph stressful too). My dad's response was one of stress isn't a real illness. :mad:

Sometimes we don't want to talk to the people closest / living with us as we know what we say will hurt them and we don't want to do that...

blinky

CCStar wrote:

Trouble is I don't know where to go, don't know many people, as I have closed myself up over the years to protect myself from any more hurt.

I think that may be partly the fear of the unknown, which can be a powerfully disabling feeling even when we are well. It affects all of us, even super-confident people. That's one reason we can find it so hard to change (better the devil we know etc). Try not to worry about it at the moment

CCStar wrote:

I don't want to leave, find myself being rejected all the time and wish I hadn't left. I feel rejected enough being here, so being alone and rejected is worse, I don't know, I'm feeling confused.

I wish I could give you a real hug right now as I think you need one. Not sure what else to say other than I'm thinking of you.

blinky

Sazbo wrote:

Peeps, I have to go to another work leaving-do in about half an hour - LOL they're dropping like flies in this place!! :rotfl: Then this evening I'm being taken out to dinner by my upstairs neighbours, by way of apology for wrecking my living-room ceiling when they had new flooring put down........ [Mental Note to Self: Must choose most expensive thing on the menu......:T :beer: ] But I will try and check in after I get back tonight.

Much love,
Saz x

Hope you enjoyed your evening out.

EthelBloggs

*needs a hug too*

I'm miserable.

Daughter has been taken ill and been moved to another hospital which is further away and I can't get there because of the bus strike. Cab would cost about £40 each way and I've only got £30 to last the rest of the week and its just soo frustrating!! Her main carer is with her and has promised to call me regularly throughout the night and keep me posted which is a relief but the waiting and worrying is doing my head in.

I'm sat here trying to distract myself and it's not working at all