depression

blinky

Miroslav wrote:

Well, i'm going to bed now, very tired. Will get up tomorrow and hope 'S' doesn't cancel. If she does, i'll be very distraught, if she doesn't, i'll get up for it, even if it's a front, as I want to make her feel good. She doesn't need my problems and probably doesn't want to know them either.

Anyway, have a good sleep, catch up tomorrow hopefully

:wave:

Hope it goes well with 'S' and try not to get wound up too much before hand.

Hope everybody sleeps well, I've got a lot of catching up on the posts tomorrow.

I wouldn't have said tonight was a 'hot' date - it went well and we both enjoyed ourselves, but I don't think it was as good as Thursday. Probably a number of things but all largely due to me .

As I'm nowhere near well it takes quite a lot of me when I'm out multiple nights in a row - I was falling asleep in the cinema. It was another busy day at work (more unpaid overtime) and so I was tired before we went out and given we were out the night before there wasn't much to talk about so I was a little quieter and 'R' did pick up on that.

Normally we can chat for hours but to be honest Im not the best at starting conversations and thats one of the things I like about being with her. I think it's partly a confidence thing and partly because people say I'm a good listener (not sure myself). I am better at joining in once somebody has started a topic and I can talk about most things.

I was fretting a bit because I'd picked the restaurant for the food although I hadn't been there before - I feel too conspicuous going in for a meal for 1 . Well to be honest I feel conspicuous doing many things by myself e.g. going to cinema, play, watching live comedy - I just feel everyone can spot I'm by myself and there all laughing at the sad loner (a bit paranoid but I'm a sensitive guy too ).

Anyway food was very good, although the decor and music were a bit odd. We went to see the Michael Caine / Christian Bale / Hugh Jackman film Prestige. A good film I won't spoil it but I'd worked out half of the film by the end. 'R' enjoyed it too which makes me feel better.

Meeting up on Sunday night to watch a DVD. Just taking it slowly and making the most of it. Part of me knows she could do so much better than me though...:undecided

Anyway, I hoped I haven't bored you to death here. I hope it's given a bit more insight into me and maybe into yourselves.

Sleep well everyone and I'll catch up with you all tomorrow

Take care,

Paul xxxx

Horasio

I am ready for bed and thank you for your reassurance:)

I don't feel relaxed with my husband. If our moods don't match, I feel wrong and it can bring me down. I have noticed it a lot this week and did tell him how I felt.

How can overcome it? Should this be an issue in a marriage? I want to be with someone where things flow more naturally, not be wary of how I feel all the time.

williamo_2

I have just a few hours ago retuned from being at the pub . Still feeling down I just feel like sleeping and not waking up at the moment the energy it takes for me to get up out of bed is unbeleiveable. Not that I sleep anyway I have been suffering deep insomnia many weeks upon weeks now, my anti depressants dont seem to be helping me at all. I seem to be building up more and more debt each day owing various people money I had to take out a £3,000 loan today to keep the banks off my back.

After crashing my car a few weeks ago and my ex girlfriend contacting me after the crash really knocked me down very hard as she only contacted me to see if I was still alive as a rumor said I had died in the car crash after being in hospital a few days, and i just cant seem to see any hope any more, i remember i used to be so ambicious and have aims in life but they all seem to have dissapeared. I am worried that the way I am now will lead me into habbits like drinking too much and taking too much cocaine I am trying to be careful to not let the drugs run my life and stay in as much control as I can but I cant help feeling at the back of my mind soon if i carry on like this im going to be addicted to either drink or drugs or even both if im not carefull. I seem to sleep every night with the television switched on every night and cant sleep without it on , I feel in a way maybe the TV is on to distract my mind to stop me thinking about things in my life and how bad things are for me at the moment its a way of escaping for me.

its been about 3 months now I have gone from a good job in the accounts department for the government well paid job to nothing sitting at home now over 4 months depressed no job no money running deeper and deeper into debt, I have tried to apply for jobs but either my cv is !!!! or I'm just not good enough and at the same time im lacking any motivation if i had to score my motivation at the moment from 1-10 it would be 2/10 at the most I feel dead almost..I have said I would like to move away from where I am now to avoid the most hurtful things like passing my ex girlfriends house each day in the car and bumping into her when out in bars or clubs.

I have been applying for jobs in London but unfortunately the distance from here to there is a long way to liasing with the recruitment companies is not easy and quite expensive when travelling by train. I'm really worried at the moment that if I dont get myself sorted out very soon im going to end up either dead or in some kind of drug/alcohol clinic.

My parents don't seem to realise how bad I am at the moment they know im on anti depressants and my behaviour recently have been out of the ordinary for me which is worrying I have consulted my GP and they told me to keep on the medication and give it a chance to adjust to me. I have not yet have suicidal thoughts but I do have dreams about other people comitting suicide and very in depth dreams I think is due to my medication. im 23 years old and really don't want to end up mentally ill or in a hospital the rest of my life I just don't know what I can do to get out of this deep deep hole I seem to be in...

Stay strong everyone your not alone!

isn't it about time this thread became a sticky thread?

Ted_Hutchinson

Rapid recovery from major depression using magnesium treatment. Case histories are presented showing rapid recovery (less than 7 days) from major depression using 125-300 mg of magnesium (as glycinate and taurinate) with each meal and at bedtime. Magnesium was found usually effective for treatment of depression in general use.

Supplementing with Magnesium at the levels suggested above can do no harm and combined with boosting Vitamin D3 status, ensuring an adequate intake of Omega 3 (oily fish 2-4 times a week) and Healthy Eating Feeding Minds Mental Health Foundation together with exercise I'm sure others may find it another helpful strategy.

The cheapest form is Magnesium Chloride. It comes in 25kg sacks £6.75 and is used by local authorities to melt snow and ice from drives in close contact with plants. You can absorb it through the skin (trans-dermal) so a jug if magnesium chloride in the bath and you'll have a muscle relaxing bath and a good nights sleep. No bath? then just dissolve the Magnesium Chloride in a bowl of boiling water and when it's cool enough give your feet a 20 minute soak.

If you want to take Magnesium Chloride as a supplement then 50g dissolved in 150ml of water will if you take a tsp with each meal provide 600mg a day. It tastes a bit bitter on it's own. I've tried it in juice and that's fine.

You may be able to buy it in Farm Supplies merchants as it can be added to animal feed to relax animals prior to slaughter.

Some people may have access to cheap Epsom Salts (magnesium sulphate) which could also be used in the bath or for soaking feet.

Don't be tempted by magnesium supplements containing Magnesium Oxide as this is possibly the least well absorbed form.

blinky

CCStar wrote:

I am ready for bed and thank you for your reassurance:)

I don't feel relaxed with my husband. If our moods don't match, I feel wrong and it can bring me down. I have noticed it a lot this week and did tell him how I felt.

How can overcome it? Should this be an issue in a marriage? I want to be with someone where things flow more naturally, not be wary of how I feel all the time.

The matching moods is something I find difficult too when I'm not well. I find it too easy to blame it on myself - I always think it's my fault. I get very anxious and try too hard to raise my mood or lift the other persons.

I when I'm well I can sometimes accept that someone different mood is not down to me. That doesn't stop me wanting to help them feel better


willamo - I think the drinking and the charlie are probably making things worse - mentally and financially. Maybe trying to get some help for your addictions will help ? My heart does go out to you.

Hope everyone made it safely through the night.

Take care and thinking of you all,

Paul
:grouphug:

Horasio

williamo wrote:

I have just a few hours ago retuned from being at the pub . Still feeling down I just feel like sleeping and not waking up at the moment the energy it takes for me to get up out of bed is unbeleiveable. Not that I sleep anyway I have been suffering deep insomnia many weeks upon weeks now, my anti depressants dont seem to be helping me at all. I seem to be building up more and more debt each day owing various people money I had to take out a £3,000 loan today to keep the banks off my back.

After crashing my car a few weeks ago and my ex girlfriend contacting me after the crash really knocked me down very hard as she only contacted me to see if I was still alive as a rumor said I had died in the car crash after being in hospital a few days, and i just cant seem to see any hope any more, i remember i used to be so ambicious and have aims in life but they all seem to have dissapeared. I am worried that the way I am now will lead me into habbits like drinking too much and taking too much cocaine I am trying to be careful to not let the drugs run my life and stay in as much control as I can but I cant help feeling at the back of my mind soon if i carry on like this im going to be addicted to either drink or drugs or even both if im not carefull. I seem to sleep every night with the television switched on every night and cant sleep without it on , I feel in a way maybe the TV is on to distract my mind to stop me thinking about things in my life and how bad things are for me at the moment its a way of escaping for me.

its been about 3 months now I have gone from a good job in the accounts department for the government well paid job to nothing sitting at home now over 4 months depressed no job no money running deeper and deeper into debt, I have tried to apply for jobs but either my cv is !!!! or I'm just not good enough and at the same time im lacking any motivation if i had to score my motivation at the moment from 1-10 it would be 2/10 at the most I feel dead almost..I have said I would like to move away from where I am now to avoid the most hurtful things like passing my ex girlfriends house each day in the car and bumping into her when out in bars or clubs.

I have been applying for jobs in London but unfortunately the distance from here to there is a long way to liasing with the recruitment companies is not easy and quite expensive when travelling by train. I'm really worried at the moment that if I dont get myself sorted out very soon im going to end up either dead or in some kind of drug/alcohol clinic.

My parents don't seem to realise how bad I am at the moment they know im on anti depressants and my behaviour recently have been out of the ordinary for me which is worrying I have consulted my GP and they told me to keep on the medication and give it a chance to adjust to me. I have not yet have suicidal thoughts but I do have dreams about other people comitting suicide and very in depth dreams I think is due to my medication. im 23 years old and really don't want to end up mentally ill or in a hospital the rest of my life I just don't know what I can do to get out of this deep deep hole I seem to be in...

Stay strong everyone your not alone!

isn't it about time this thread became a sticky thread?

Hi and welcome to the thread:)

I am sorry to hear you are feeling demotivated.

Can you work out when you first felt like this? If you once has ambition, can you work out what may have lead you to feel this way? Have you been taking cocaine and drinking to excess around this time?, this can affect perception. Was this around the time your girlfriend became an ex girlfriend?

If you have just started taking anti depressants, it does take a few weeks to kick in. If they don't do anything, then go back to the doctor and tell them how you feel. Maybe they could refer you for counselling too.

We are here to listen and share experiences but cannot give medical advice. Do feel free to vent or talk about how you feel, it often helps and there are many of us feeling low.

A change of location can do wonders. There sound to be too many painful memories where you are just now.

Sazbo

williamo wrote:

I have just a few hours ago retuned from being at the pub . Still feeling down I just feel like sleeping and not waking up at the moment the energy it takes for me to get up out of bed is unbeleiveable. Not that I sleep anyway I have been suffering deep insomnia many weeks upon weeks now, my anti depressants dont seem to be helping me at all. I seem to be building up more and more debt each day owing various people money I had to take out a £3,000 loan today to keep the banks off my back.

After crashing my car a few weeks ago and my ex girlfriend contacting me after the crash really knocked me down very hard as she only contacted me to see if I was still alive as a rumor said I had died in the car crash after being in hospital a few days, and i just cant seem to see any hope any more, i remember i used to be so ambicious and have aims in life but they all seem to have dissapeared. I am worried that the way I am now will lead me into habbits like drinking too much and taking too much cocaine I am trying to be careful to not let the drugs run my life and stay in as much control as I can but I cant help feeling at the back of my mind soon if i carry on like this im going to be addicted to either drink or drugs or even both if im not carefull. I seem to sleep every night with the television switched on every night and cant sleep without it on , I feel in a way maybe the TV is on to distract my mind to stop me thinking about things in my life and how bad things are for me at the moment its a way of escaping for me.

its been about 3 months now I have gone from a good job in the accounts department for the government well paid job to nothing sitting at home now over 4 months depressed no job no money running deeper and deeper into debt, I have tried to apply for jobs but either my cv is !!!! or I'm just not good enough and at the same time im lacking any motivation if i had to score my motivation at the moment from 1-10 it would be 2/10 at the most I feel dead almost..I have said I would like to move away from where I am now to avoid the most hurtful things like passing my ex girlfriends house each day in the car and bumping into her when out in bars or clubs.

I have been applying for jobs in London but unfortunately the distance from here to there is a long way to liasing with the recruitment companies is not easy and quite expensive when travelling by train. I'm really worried at the moment that if I dont get myself sorted out very soon im going to end up either dead or in some kind of drug/alcohol clinic.

My parents don't seem to realise how bad I am at the moment they know im on anti depressants and my behaviour recently have been out of the ordinary for me which is worrying I have consulted my GP and they told me to keep on the medication and give it a chance to adjust to me. I have not yet have suicidal thoughts but I do have dreams about other people comitting suicide and very in depth dreams I think is due to my medication. im 23 years old and really don't want to end up mentally ill or in a hospital the rest of my life I just don't know what I can do to get out of this deep deep hole I seem to be in...

Stay strong everyone your not alone!

isn't it about time this thread became a sticky thread?

Hi williamo and welcome. Indeed you are right - we are not alone by any means in dealing with this condition, and it certainly gives us cause to realise just how many people do. This thread goes a long way for many of us here, in terms of providing a space for us to give and receive mutual support and that has been invaluable to me and others of us here.

However, it's also important to recognise when issues require professional help - and I do think some of what you've talked about falls into that category - particularly concerns about drug and alcohol use, and managing debt. So I strongly encourage you seek the help you need; it's the best thing you can do for yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy as much as anyone else, and we're all wish you well on the journey there :T

As CCStar says, it does take a few weeks for the ADs to kick in, if after that time you don't thinking they are helping do go back to your GP. If the dreams continue to trouble you, it might be advisable to contact The Samaritans.

Take care,
Saz x

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

I am ready for bed and thank you for your reassurance:)

I don't feel relaxed with my husband. If our moods don't match, I feel wrong and it can bring me down. I have noticed it a lot this week and did tell him how I felt.

How can overcome it? Should this be an issue in a marriage? I want to be with someone where things flow more naturally, not be wary of how I feel all the time.

I do think a heightened sensitivity to moods does come in part from not being well, and a constant anxiety about whether your doing the right thing. But perhaps the fact that you have been communicating your feelings to him this week might be the way to go? Might be a way to reconnect him with what you're experiencing? Big hugs hun, Sxx

Bunnie1982

Good morning errrr afternoon all, I think it's a sign that I am sleeping better.

Still enjoying my new job, I had a marriage proposal from an 82 year old man yesterday and a lady tell me how polite I was.

I have a little confession to make about my job, I am working for an internal debt collector of a local company, but mainly my job is coming to payment arrangements with customers, setting up payment plans and taking payments over the telephone. I have only done it for a week and I feel really confident, I got 100% in my quality check yesterday and have been told by managers I conduct myself in a professional manner.

My team leader doesn't believe that I am a naturally shy person as she says I appear to be really confident.

I even feel more motivated in terms of hobbies and had a go at indoor bowls on Thursday night with my husband, turns out I played excellent for my first attempt, although my leg really aches now from stepping forward on it, lol. It was great because I had loads of people watching and giving me encouragement.

Also excited at the moment because it is my birthday on Monday and hubby is upstairs wrapping my presents. Having a small party tonight too with my family which will be fab.

For the first time in my life I can cope with mess too, the house is a bit untidy and I am not tearing my hair out over it.

Kimmywim

well here goes, I am just gonna type now and don't know when I am going to stop, so I apologize in advance!

I don't know if I have depression or not but I just need to talk to someone I don't "know" about it, (does that make sense?), anyway I don't want to go to the doctors because then that means that I have failed, that something is wrong and I don't want there to be anything wrong because I just want to be and feel "normal" .

All I do is shout and swear at my husband and I am driving him away, but he is so supportive of me and I just can't seem to stop myself, its like I have so much Anger and rage inside me I can't control myself and start screaming at him, about verything and anything. We have no money at all , ok so we have enough to feed us and to live on but nothing extra at all, I can't take my daughter to toddler group/swimming, i don't know how we are meant to afford christmas etc and I just can't face going out of the house, i don't bother getting dressed most days (whats the point? )

My husband is currently on a secondment, which he doesn't get any extra money from until he has passed this course, he was meant to finish mid Novemer, but now he can't finish til after January and its like they keep moving the goalposts. he commutes 5 hours a day so I feel like I never see him, and our kids too, if something is wrong at his store he is expected to drop everything and go to work. on his days off he spends the morning in bed cos he is so knackered. I feel like i just cannot cope at home at all, i have a 2 year old and a 11 week old, and they r so good, but the slightest thing they do wrong especially my 2 year old, and I just shout at them, agaon, i just can't seem to control myself. The one thing that really písses me off is everyone saying, "oh your doing so well,", "oh look at Kim isn't she doing well", Sorry but no , I am not doing well, in fact I can't cope at atll, but cheers for falling for my "happy" face, is what I feel like saying to them.

Another thing, is my mum died 5 days befoe I gave birth to my 11 week old daughter, we always had such a volatile relationship, but the last couple of months were ok, we got on ok, and now I just think, thanks mum for dying on me, you missed Sophie being born, you will never see Amy grow up, and I blame her for dying?, she was very ill (mentally and physically ) but noone ever thought she would die, least of all me, and I feel such a !!!!! feeling this way.


everything in my life seems to go wrong, little petty things like stubbing my toe on the same doorframe everyday,really really get to me, I am so clumsy and I can't keep on top of the housework, I am so disorganised and I am such a failure, honestly if you could see the state of my house you would be ashamed. Its not that its dirty, there is just shíte everywhere, I just don't know what to do with it, my whole life is filled with junk.

I also feel so fat and ugly, I am 6 foot 1 inch tall and used to be sooo skinny and now i weigh nearly 17 stone, i am just a big hulk, but i have absolutely no motivation to lose weight, i have obscene stretchmarks all over my stomach, legs and breasts and scars from abdominal surgery and a bellybutton hernia, so I just look like a mess. Because of this I have no confidence at all, i used t love going out and now I absolutely hate it, if we do have to go anywhere I have to make sure its sitiing in a corner hiding away .

I'm not suicidal, but sometimes I wonder if everything would be better if I wasn't here, because I am such a waste of space.


well thanks for reading, i am sitting here crying , now trying to find the energy to make my little girls lunch, sorry for moaning and for the "me,me,me" post, i just really needed to let it all out, i'm sorry if this is the wrong place.

Kim