depression

feelinggood_2

What I'm scared off, is that if I get 'physcotic' as he puts it, like I did last time I went on tablets - he won't be able to cope.
Last time, he sent me back to my Parents, and I hated that - I'm a grown woman, not a little kid who can't be carted off to mum and dad. He had no right to do that. But, I don't know if I'd be able to fight him - I don't know how he does this.
I never really ask for his blessing - he lets me go to the gym tho. Altho, that benefits him cos he doesn't like me fat :rotfl: I'm sure he gives his blessing to lots of things, but I can't think of any x

blinky

feelinggood wrote:

What I'm scared off, is that if I get 'physcotic' as he puts it, like I did last time I went on tablets - he won't be able to cope.
Last time, he sent me back to my Parents, and I hated that - I'm a grown woman, not a little kid who can't be carted off to mum and dad. He had no right to do that. But, I don't know if I'd be able to fight him - I don't know how he does this.
I never really ask for his blessing - he lets me go to the gym tho. Altho, that benefits him cos he doesn't like me fat :rotfl: I'm sure he gives his blessing to lots of things, but I can't think of any x

:grouphug:

I'm sure he gets lots of benefits from you

Okay so last tablets didn't work - there's a whole cornucopia of others out there. Just take them - you need them at the moment. Does sound like he's a bit too controlling.

elona

He gives his blessings to things that he wants!

He "sent you back to your parents" - like a parcel?

He really does sound like a prize manipulator who will always leave you feeling that you have failed him in some way.

I raelly hope that you can get yourself feeling better so that you feel less reliant on his "approval".

Sounds to me like you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't!

That would make anyone depressed and stressed. Could you go to marriage guidance on your own or get one to one counselling?

Sounds as if you really need someone to listen to you without condemming you and to help you boost your self esteem and confidence.

Miroslav

Hello all..can't read posts from today as gotta be quick as on estranged families PC

I'm bored, depressed and wanting to go home, but will be stuck here for another 9 hours most likely

Anyway, gotta go..........if 'S' cancels me later for tomorrow, I'm gonna lose the plot

Catch ya soon :wave:

feelinggood_2

Thinking of you Miro, hope you feel better soon x

I'm trying to get physcotherapy, might ask for another referal for conselling and cbt. No point trying marriage conselling, I'm sure this marraige is over.

The last tablets not only didn't work - made me worse. Increased suicidal thoughts and stuff. That said, I'm getting rather alot now, so maybe they didn't cause it. I don't know. Will discuss it with Doc on monday. I don't think the latest ones she's give me are any good - not for people who drink, and are supposed to be for insomniacs. I drink, and I sleep far too much already!

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

I want to scream and shout and cry and let it all out, but I can't

Yes fg yes you can. It will work wonders for you.

Sazbo

Hello everyone. Just checking in. We doing ok today? Been a tough week for a lot of us I think, one way or another. But at least it is friday

FG hun - I can only reiterate what Elona has said. You are being manipulated by him, to the point where you feel everything requires his blessing or approval. But do not blame yourself for this at all, he alone is responsible for this situation, not you. Once you have your medication and treatment sorted and you start to heal, you will begin to see the situation more clearly for what it is and gain the strength to deal with it. Everything we say comes from the heart fg hun, we just want you to heal. big hugs xxx

Good to hear from you CCStar, and that you're enjoying your surroundings more, for me I think that makes all other problems a little easier to bear xx

Hi Miro - hang in there hun, it's a real drag being holed up with people you don't want to be around. Can you engineer a reason to "nip out for a while" and use some time up like that? And by the way - don't think I missed the brussel sprouts comment earlier, I will be dealing out punishment for that later...

Ethel - good luck with the presentation *Saz crossing her fingers and toes*

And a big hi to flissy, blinky, tiffy, bunnie and rosie (Hmm, is there a pattern forming there? :think: ) Rose hun it's friday hurrah, we made it! :j - you take care x

Catch you later guys,
Much love,
Sazzy xxx

blinky

Tiff wrote:

Yes fg yes you can. It will work wonders for you.

Yes it's good to release it - DO IT. :grouphug:

feelinggood_2

I can't right now.
Maybe on Tuesday, at least then I be with someone I trust

Horasio

Sazbo wrote:

Hello everyone. Just checking in. We doing ok today? Been a tough week for a lot of us I think, one way or another. But at least it is friday

FG hun - I can only reiterate what Elona has said. You are being manipulated by him, to the point where you feel everything requires his blessing or approval. But do not blame yourself for this at all, he alone is responsible for this situation, not you. Once you have your medication and treatment sorted and you start to heal, you will begin to see the situation more clearly for what it is and gain the strength to deal with it. Everything we say comes from the heart fg hun, we just want you to heal. big hugs xxx

Good to hear from you CCStar, and that you're enjoying your surroundings more, for me I think that makes all other problems a little easier to bear xx

Hi Miro - hang in there hun, it's a real drag being holed up with people you don't want to be around. Can you engineer a reason to "nip out for a while" and use some time up like that? And by the way - don't think I missed the brussel sprouts comment earlier, I will be dealing out punishment for that later...

Ethel - good luck with the presentation *Saz crossing her fingers and toes*

And a big hi to flissy, blinky, tiffy, bunnie and rosie (Hmm, is there a pattern forming there? :think: ) Rose hun it's friday hurrah, we made it! :j - you take care x

Catch you later guys,
Much love,
Sazzy xxx

Reiterating what you are saying Sazzy:)

We are going to start packing up this weekend, decluttering ready to sell in January. It is usually OK here in the winter but I CANNOT have another summer here, it was hell last summer.

Then we have to work out what next when we have sold the place.

I am in a dilemma though. My mother and I want to invest in a second home but feel she won't let me have the place and where I want to live. We are putting in equal amounts of deposit.

She spends a lot of time caring for her elderly husband and doesn't drive. I am happy to help out more than I currently do, it is difficult 450 miles away but worry if I get too close, I will become their full time carer and not get a life.

I haven't had a life - married young, had our son young and now I want to live MY life before I get too old. My mother is very charismatic and I get taken over by her when I don't feel too good. This was one reason I married so young. My marriage hasn't been the best marriage either. I can identify with a lot of what FeelingGood goes through. I had hormone problems when I was younger and got very little, if any support, from anyone and couldn't make friends (or keep them) due to my condition. I was depressed as well due to it all getting me down as well.

I am sick of living with people who bring me down. I want to live alone but see people. Whenever I was living alone, I felt much better.

I feel that makes me sound selfish.