depression

Horasio

can_it_be_different wrote:

Hi all,

Kind of been a lurker on this site (picking up money saving tips) for a while now but have decided to make a post here because of some other issues (and it is not really related to money so not sure if it is relevant or not)

But will try anyway. Basically I am feeling and have been feeling very down and depressed for months now, and just seem to have nothing to live for bar my family. I am not contemplating anything serious I am just fed up being alone and sad. I live in a small remote area on the West Coast and it is a place where everyone knows everyone and no way am I going to see Doctor as I know them well. Not sure it is anything a doc can help with anyway.

The thing is I see myself as a nice, intelligent young and fun guy - but never feel fun when I am alone and lonely. But problem is I was bullied all through school life and have severe confidence problems, and don't go out much. It means that I have no real friends - mates but no friends. And do not particularly get on with the people who go out around me as they were the ones I had issues with during my school years. Although I am in mid 20s now.

It may not sound right but I need someone to care for and to be cared for by, but just cannot find that someone. Tried online 'dating' sites but it is difficult living where I do as it is not easy to get to population centres. Do you think it is not good to actively look for someone? I thought it may just happen but it never has.

Just being alone makes me so sad and I do not know what to do. I am contemplating moving to a big city just so I can get away from baggage and reminders at home and get myself out among people but not sure if this is such a good idea. Any opinions

Sorry if this post is anappropriate but any guidance appreciated - even pointing me in direction of a better medium for my issues.

Hi

Welcome to the site and thank you for telling us about your situation. We are all caring and good listeners, and been through all sorts of life's cr*p.

I am sorry you feel lonely and have been bullied, I can relate to that myself.

I must admit when I left the place where I was at school and had bad memories, it was much better. I live near a large city and nobody knows my past, unless I choose to tell them.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Can someone find me something to punch that won't hurt

Flatmate and I aren't getting along again. Had I not found out by accident, I wouldn't have known she was meeting 'S' for lunch today, instead of her going to the funeral. So I sent a nice text message saying I was thinking of her today as I knew it was going to be hard, and if she wanted to talk tomorrow, then i'd be there for her.

I got no reply from 'S', THEN I find out flatmate is meeting her for lunch, instead of 'S' going to the funeral, so my message was not needed at all, so she hasn't replied, and is instead probably thinking i'm a total barnpot!

To make things worse, when I heard, I had even more doubts over meeting her tomorrow, told my flatmate I was thinking of cancelling, and that I would tell 'S' once i'd thought about it, so I was on my way to an appointment, walking part of the way with flatmate who was going elsewhere, and flatmate goes "I'll tell her" in an angry voice, so I now have no idea what she is going to say.

I've text flatmate, telling her to say nothing, but she hasn't replied, so i'm left hanging!

I bumped into flatmate again, as routes clashed........I just looked at her, nodded by head sideways and walked on.

:wall: :mad: :wall: :mad:

I've had my 1st counselling assessment today, and the lady said I should meet 'S' but now, flatmate may have ruined it, or my stupid SMS may have :mad: :wall: :mad: :wall:

I think it is a case of crossed wires, you thought she was going to a funeral, so you acted in a way you thought was appropriate.

I do find the relationship with your flatmate very strange, you don't think she likes you do you?:rolleyes:

Is your flatmate likely to be that nasty?

Horasio

Tiff wrote:

Hi Miro:hello:
Congratulations on the counselling assessment angel!
Things are getting very confusing here -I don't mean your posts or anything, but it seems to me angel, that in every relationship that you're around at the moment, is made up of 3 people. Hun, I can understand why, but it's 1 person too many.
Sending S that nice text msg was perfectly okay. Very thoughtful. It looks like purely and simply angel that she just changed her mind about going to the funeral. Maybe your flatmate didn't tell you S wasn't going because she'd assumed you'd hear that from S.
I've kept up with your posts hun and this is what happens when there's a go-between in the relationship... it ends up like Chinese Whispers. And we all know what it's like to think the worst and have a totally different ending to what we expected. You said yourself that she often can't text people back as she has no credit.
If you can angel, find the strength to be in this relationship, whatever it turns out to be, with just you & S. You've had the ice broken so you can do this. You've already talked to each other directly. You're sensitive to what she's been through and you've impressed her. You can't define any relationship at the very beginning hun and if you overthink it or put down too many guidelines, you'll stifle it. This is the same for everyone Miro. You're doing nothing wrong. Try not to panic so much - easier said than done I know.;) maybe flatmate doesn't want to be in the middle now? We can all get snappy with people we care about when we're stressed. Sometimes we become the victims of our own imaginations.
Text or phone S in the morning angel and simply say 'Would you like to meet up at....?' there's no harm in that. I do feel for you hun but there's no recipe here and if you don't try flying solo once in a while, you'll miss out on a great adventure. Relationships have to grow angel - they don't come ready made. And we're all afraid/nervous at the beginning.:o
If only it were as simple as it doing what it says on the box!:rolleyes:
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that all goes well. Just take it as it comes hun.
Tiff xxx

You have a lovely way of wording things - I do hope Miroslav manages to overcome his nerves:)

Bunnie1982

Am here licking my wounds

Went across to my parents today 17 miles away in the next town as I was supposed to be attending an interview.

However I didn't end up going to the interview because my dad showed me where it was and it looked terrible and miles away from public transport I intended to use.

Also the area isn't very nice and I would worry everyday if I was going to get mugged.

Oh well there is always the interview on Friday, keeping everything crossed for that one.

Got 2 more recruitment agencies that want me to register with them, but at the moment considering doing a bit of working from home but not sure where to start or how much money I would make.

Tiff_2

Just want to say hello to mrs.a, flis, rose, miro, saz, bunnie, natty, fg, cc, cibd, slayerx, dora, elona and sorry if old Tiff's too tired to recall all names.:o

Be kind to yourselves guys and I hope Thursday will be good to all of us.
Tiff xxx

Horasio

Hi

I feel a very low level of confidence tonight, so feel my posts are pathetic.

Today was an even worse day than yesterday.

I was woken up by the building work behind my room, which went on till 4pm. The screaming kids then started at 4pm till 9pm, so had no peace today. that in itself is bad enough. I feel bullied by them. They don't seem to care that I need peace in my home.

The car was quoted as more than it is worth and what we were told by the RAC. They now want to charge £63 for doing b*gger all, we asked for a quote, nothing else. We have valuables in our car and they won't let us retrieve them. We feel held to ransom.

I haven't felt able to relax today and feel I can't think straight

Horasio

Tiff wrote:

Hi Guys!:hello:
I'm sorry I'm late - another busy Tiff day!:rolleyes: Notice the word fun missing!:D
Hi Rosie - how are you angel?
Today is Rosie's 3rd anniversary day & I know all of you will join in in wanting to wish her well and sending her huge hugs. Have PM'd you angel. You'e doing a good job - inspite of everything, you're still helping others.
I appreciate your humour and your openness hun. Just want you to know I'm thinking of you. Tiff xxx

Well I guess it's time for the Tiff Chronicles:rolleyes: - grab a :coffee: - here we go
Tiff xxx

Happy anniversary Rosie:)

Horasio

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Am here licking my wounds

Went across to my parents today 17 miles away in the next town as I was supposed to be attending an interview.

However I didn't end up going to the interview because my dad showed me where it was and it looked terrible and miles away from public transport I intended to use.

Also the area isn't very nice and I would worry everyday if I was going to get mugged.

Oh well there is always the interview on Friday, keeping everything crossed for that one.

Got 2 more recruitment agencies that want me to register with them, but at the moment considering doing a bit of working from home but not sure where to start or how much money I would make.

That sounds dodgy if you would worry about being mugged.

Yes working from home can be good, no commuting but can be lonely and you need to be disciplined.

Tiff_2

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Am here licking my wounds

Went across to my parents today 17 miles away in the next town as I was supposed to be attending an interview.

However I didn't end up going to the interview because my dad showed me where it was and it looked terrible and miles away from public transport I intended to use.

Also the area isn't very nice and I would worry everyday if I was going to get mugged.

Oh well there is always the interview on Friday, keeping everything crossed for that one.

Got 2 more recruitment agencies that want me to register with them, but at the moment considering doing a bit of working from home but not sure where to start or how much money I would make.

Hi Bunnie
Hope my post yesterday to you on DLA made sense.:rolleyes:
Sounds like you did the right thing in not going to that interview angel. If you already feel vulnerable, then working there would have had you anxious and unable to concentrate very well. Good luck for Friday bunnie.
Register with the agencies anyway angel - nothing to lose and you don't know what they might throw up. You are obviously in demand so remember that when you feel low.
Tiff
xxx

Tiff_2

CCStar wrote:

Hi

I feel a very low level of confidence tonight, so feel my posts are pathetic.

Today was an even worse day than yesterday.

I was woken up by the building work behind my room, which went on till 4pm. The screaming kids then started at 4pm till 9pm, so had no peace today. that in itself is bad enough. I feel bullied by them. They don't seem to care that I need peace in my home.

The car was quoted as more than it is worth and what we were told by the RAC. They now want to charge £63 for doing b*gger all, we asked for a quote, nothing else. We have valuables in our car and they won't let us retrieve them. We feel held to ransom.

I haven't felt able to relax today and feel I can't think straight

Hey CC
Your posts are never pathetic hun. It sounds like you are severely stressed. Children generally only have one volume hun and it's LOUD!:rolleyes: They don't understand angel.
Do you know how long the building will go on for? Sounds like you must be deprived of your sleep/peace and that is well known to make you feel very down. Visit to GP for some temporary help perhaps CC? If they give you sleeping tablets for a week or two you might get some badly needed rest. A lot of these are not addictive any more.
Also, you can contact your local environmental health agency as they can measure the volume and advise you on what is & what isn't allowed noise wise. I think :rolleyes: that you can make a reasonable amount of noise until 10pm or 11pm. there are noise pollution laws.
Regarding the car angel, straight on the phone to the professionals like CAB or even phone your local police and ask their advice. The police can advise you what is and isn't legal in various scenarios. If they didn't state that there would be a fee for
the quote, they can't hold you to it I don't think. I also think that even if they can hold the car, it is probably NOT legal to withhold your belongings. Of course the situation is likely to be one of your word against theirs but don't let that put you off hun. Your answer then is, "So you're calling me a liar?" Consult the police/CAB before you get back to them.
If it was a case of a misunderstanding, then explain that you wouldn't have asked for a quote if you'd known there was a fee and that you're a family on a very low income and can't afford it. Say you wanted to get a free quote from them because their reputation is good and that it was never explained to you that there would be a fee. You can catch more with honey... appeal to their better nature - tell them you were planning on having the work done with them. Maybe if they know you want them to repair the car, they'll make a goodwill gesture.
Just some thoughts angel - hope this helps.
Tiff x