depression

beachbeth

Theres nothing worse than being bullied and it can really knock your confidence in yourself. The best advice I can give is to find something you really enjoy doing, whether its a sport or an evening class. There are so many evening classes, there must be one that would suit you. Eg. Languages, cooking, car maintenance. This way you are following an enjoyable persuit and meeting others that enjoy the same things (some of whom may turn out to be a suitable partner!).

Be determined that you are going to press on with life and enjoy it as much as possible and tell yourself you are not going to let those awful bullies still ruin your life now! You can show them! Also, the more you decide you aren't looking for a partner and are just out to make friends, the less desperate you will appear and the more likely you will meet that special someone. Good luck!

beachbeth

Also, can I suggest that you spend a day in a big city, shopping and looking around at property/jobs etc so that you know whether it would be the right move. Moving to a big city could be just what you need or it could be a disaster. But if you try it and end up moving back home don't think of it as a failure, think of it as something you tried and now you are on to the next thing. No looking back and no 'what ifs'!

Tiff_2

Hi Guys!:hello:
I'm sorry I'm late - another busy Tiff day!:rolleyes: Notice the word fun missing!:D
Hi Rosie - how are you angel?
Today is Rosie's 3rd anniversary day & I know all of you will join in in wanting to wish her well and sending her huge hugs. Have PM'd you angel. You'e doing a good job - inspite of everything, you're still helping others.
I appreciate your humour and your openness hun. Just want you to know I'm thinking of you. Tiff xxx

Well I guess it's time for the Tiff Chronicles:rolleyes: - grab a :coffee: - here we go
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Bunnie1982 wrote:

Now I feel terrible

I applied for a TV quiz show ages ago and I have had a voicemail message from them today wanting to go over my application form and maybe take it further.

The number to ring back is a mobile number and I can't really afford to call it and also I am very shy and feeling very low.

OH is making me feel terrible and trying to guilt trip me into calling by saying if we won the money I would never have to work again and he would be able to support me

Hi Bunnie,
It's very late I know but I spent three hours last night trying to refind all the info I'd posted here and on other threads when all I needed to do was start from scratch! Another really blonde moment!:D
I hope you're hanging in there hun.
Firstly, if YOU won the money, YOU would never have to work again and HE would be able to support you...something seriously wrong with this sentence! I'm sure he would support you with your money!:rolleyes: Ok - Tiff taking her claws back!;) You do it if you want to hun, it's as simple as that.

I said I had info on benefits you may be able to claim. I'm sorry to anyone else who has already had this info for any repetition. Bullet points hun...here we go...
- Depression alone can be grounds enough to claim Disability Living Allowance (DLA). Mental ill health is treated the same as any physical condition.
- You have to have been ill for (Ithink) 3 months and the illness has to be expected to last longer than 6 months ahead. This is so things like broken legs etc are not included.
- It has to affect your quality of life and the ability to function 'normally'. Can't sleep, eat, forget to take tablets, can't concentrate, etc.
- The mobility component is to help you get around and comes at 2 levels - low and high.
- The care component helps you with personal care & comes at 3 levels - low, medium,high.
- Phone DLA on 08457 123456 and ask for an application form for both.
- IMMEDIATELY book an appointment with your local CAB or DIAL to fill in the form. There may be a waiting list to see them and there are deadlines for the forms to be returned. Sometimes they can do home visits.
- Any payment decided upon, will only be made from the date that they put on the form they send you.
- I am very good at filling in forms and could write letters that would shrivel your socks hun but I got turned down. Save yourself time and heartache and take the monster of a repetitious form to the professional advisors who know just what wording to use. You have to be very particular and very detailed in what is written, you see.
- This benefit is not taken into account if you are receiving any other benefit, including Housing or Council Tax Benefits.
- You can be employed and still claim it.
- It will take them several weeks to get back to you. It is a long process and puts a lot of people off if they get turned down. My advice here is to APPEAL EVERY TIME! If you need help, it's worth persevering.
-It will take them quite a long time while so they can verify things with GP/Psycholgist/Psychiatrist/Drs.
- Please do not let your pride top you from appealing -your health is so much more important.
Ok...phew! If there's anything further I can add Bunnie, let me know or if you have any questions just post 'em up. Hope this helps angel.:)
Much love
Tiff xxx

flis21

Hi All,

How is everyone doing? I am ok. Anxiety has been a bit up and down at the minute, but am not crying, well apart from about my hamster, but that is allowed and I haven't cried this week about it. Feel ok at the mo, it is half term next week, so only have 2 more days of work, then a week off. Already have lots of plans, but mostly nice things to do (lunch with my Nan, day out with my Mum etc).

Going to see my doctor on Monday to talk about how I am doing. Part of me wants him to take me off the anti-psychotic, as I haven't been psychotic for ages, but maybe it is the tablets that are stopping me being psychotic?! I know I still need to take the anti-depressants, but maybe I could stop those. Well I am going to ask Dr about it and see what he says. On the other hand maybe if things are going well at the minute I shouldn't try to change anything!

Off to bed now, but my thoughts are with you all, particularly Rose, I hope you are ok. Good night.

Tiff_2

Sazbo wrote:

The straightners are definitely worth it! Probably making changes in small steps rather than too much at once is the wise thing to do anyway. It's about a 2 month wait round here too. So of course I use that as a convenient excuse But I'm much nearer actually doing it now than ever in the past. Getting support from you all on here has helped me edge closer to that goal. So a big thanks :T

Oooh Saz - you've done it now!:D
Tiff on the case! I will hound you from now and through my next lifetime if necessary until you make that appointment!:eek:
Angel, you have nothing to lose - what harm can it do? You say yourself that you know you'll have to do it sooner than later, so why waste anymore recovery time? Like they say in the advert, "You're worth it!" And you are.
I hope you do sincerely believe that we care about each other on this thread and support each other hun so...

PICK UP THE PHONE!
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

feelinggood wrote:

Its just a guy who seems to inspire me - he makes me think about things, helps me understand. I like who I am with him. No future tho

Hi fg - you minx!;) I swear that I was about to ask you what his name was after your last post angel. Glad to know Tiffster's not totally off the beaten track!:rotfl:
It sounds like an honest relationship and that's wonderful. I don't know the reasons hun, but I'm sorry it can't go further. At least you've got someone to talk to hun and never say never - Destiny has a way of interfering! hope you're well hun.
Much love
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

can_it_be_different wrote:

Hi all,

Kind of been a lurker on this site (picking up money saving tips) for a while now but have decided to make a post here because of some other issues (and it is not really related to money so not sure if it is relevant or not)

But will try anyway. Basically I am feeling and have been feeling very down and depressed for months now, and just seem to have nothing to live for bar my family. I am not contemplating anything serious I am just fed up being alone and sad. I live in a small remote area on the West Coast and it is a place where everyone knows everyone and no way am I going to see Doctor as I know them well. Not sure it is anything a doc can help with anyway.

The thing is I see myself as a nice, intelligent young and fun guy - but never feel fun when I am alone and lonely. But problem is I was bullied all through school life and have severe confidence problems, and don't go out much. It means that I have no real friends - mates but no friends. And do not particularly get on with the people who go out around me as they were the ones I had issues with during my school years. Although I am in mid 20s now.

It may not sound right but I need someone to care for and to be cared for by, but just cannot find that someone. Tried online 'dating' sites but it is difficult living where I do as it is not easy to get to population centres. Do you think it is not good to actively look for someone? I thought it may just happen but it never has.

Just being alone makes me so sad and I do not know what to do. I am contemplating moving to a big city just so I can get away from baggage and reminders at home and get myself out among people but not sure if this is such a good idea. Any opinions

Sorry if this post is anappropriate but any guidance appreciated - even pointing me in direction of a better medium for my issues.

Hi cibd Welcome - come on in hun. I'm glad you posted and I'm sure the wonderful people on here will be of great support to you...but until they get here, you've got me.;)
Positive point - you have described yourself in a positive way angel and inspite of bullying problem (we've all been there ), you are still looking forward and for solutions.
I'm sure you know that your dr would not be able to say anything to anyone, or even leave a message at your house asking you to call him - drs can be wonderfully inventive about ways of protecting your privacy. Is there no way you could give him the chance to do his job? You may find that he'd be incredibly flattered and relieved that you could approach him - that's what he's there for.
Have you confided in your family hun?
Online dating ? Not tried it myself angel - personally I think I'd prefer to see what's in the can first before buying There is nothing wrong in actively looking for a relationship as long as it's not used as a means of escape. I like to think that the right people find each other almost accidentally. You'll be at work, or doing whatever leisure activity you like, or even on the bus - you just never know. Wouldn't it be better to look for someone who shares what you already like?
It almost sounds as if you're saying 'I do want to move.' The best advice I can think of right now is to set up something to move to first,like a job angel, especially if finances are a problem. You sounded to me to be really keen to move on to new pastures and don't know how to get there but tell me if I'm wrong ok?
Would you have a job that you could transfer to another branch? If not, find a job via your jobcentre to move to and at least that means that you won't be moving to nothing. A job will at least give you somewhere to fit in while you find your feet in a strange place. I think you should feel proud of yourself for thinking of it and for posting on here.;) I don't think anyone would want to stay around people that bullied them. Funny thing is, the bullies tend to move on with their lives whereas their victims can recall every minute.
Please reconsider talking to your GP angel - you may be surprised at what he can help you with, especially if you're depressed. If all his patients in your community felt like that hun, he'd be unemployed! He has a duty to protect your privacy and sometimes knowing a patient well can be a big advantage. Would he want you to be feeling like this?
Please post again and let us know how you are getting on. Maybe counselling can help with the bullying? NHS do that.
No-one, on here especially, will tell you that you've posted in the wrong place - we're the good guys and you're welcome here. I hope this helped.:)
Best wishes Tiff

Sazbo

Tiff wrote:

Oooh Saz - you've done it now!:D
Tiff on the case! I will hound you from now and through my next lifetime if necessary until you make that appointment!:eek:
Angel, you have nothing to lose - what harm can it do? You say yourself that you know you'll have to do it sooner than later, so why waste anymore recovery time? Like they say in the advert, "You're worth it!" And you are.
I hope you do sincerely believe that we care about each other on this thread and support each other hun so...

PICK UP THE PHONE!
Much love
Tiff xxx

Thanks Tiff! I'll consider you to be officially on my case I very nearly made the call today... um, but then I didn't But I will honestly do it soon.

Apologies all for the short post, but I desperately need to crash. Think I'm getting a sore throat - everyone at work has a cold right now... :rolleyes: But just wanted to say hi and I'm thinking of you all.

Rosie - hope you're doing ok today hun. Don't forget we're here for you. Miro - I'm sure there'll be no problem about your text as fg said she was probably glad to know that you were concerned for her. Hi also CCStar, flis, fg, bunnie and welcome cibd.

I'll bid you all good night and take care. Much love, Saz xxx

Tiff_2

Miroslav wrote:

:wave:

Can someone find me something to punch that won't hurt
Flatmate and I aren't getting along again. Had I not found out by accident, I wouldn't have known she was meeting 'S' for lunch today, instead of her going to the funeral. So I sent a nice text message saying I was thinking of her today as I knew it was going to be hard, and if she wanted to talk tomorrow, then i'd be there for her.

I got no reply from 'S', THEN I find out flatmate is meeting her for lunch, instead of 'S' going to the funeral, so my message was not needed at all, so she hasn't replied, and is instead probably thinking i'm a total barnpot!

To make things worse, when I heard, I had even more doubts over meeting her tomorrow, told my flatmate I was thinking of cancelling, and that I would tell 'S' once i'd thought about it, so I was on my way to an appointment, walking part of the way with flatmate who was going elsewhere, and flatmate goes "I'll tell her" in an angry voice, so I now have no idea what she is going to say.

I've text flatmate, telling her to say nothing, but she hasn't replied, so i'm left hanging!

I bumped into flatmate again, as routes clashed........I just looked at her, nodded by head sideways and walked on.

:wall: :mad: :wall: :mad:

I've had my 1st counselling assessment today, and the lady said I should meet 'S' but now, flatmate may have ruined it, or my stupid SMS may have :mad: :wall: :mad: :wall:

Hi Miro:hello:
Congratulations on the counselling assessment angel!
Things are getting very confusing here -I don't mean your posts or anything, but it seems to me angel, that in every relationship that you're around at the moment, is made up of 3 people. Hun, I can understand why, but it's 1 person too many.
Sending S that nice text msg was perfectly okay. Very thoughtful. It looks like purely and simply angel that she just changed her mind about going to the funeral. Maybe your flatmate didn't tell you S wasn't going because she'd assumed you'd hear that from S.
I've kept up with your posts hun and this is what happens when there's a go-between in the relationship... it ends up like Chinese Whispers. And we all know what it's like to think the worst and have a totally different ending to what we expected. You said yourself that she often can't text people back as she has no credit.
If you can angel, find the strength to be in this relationship, whatever it turns out to be, with just you & S. You've had the ice broken so you can do this. You've already talked to each other directly. You're sensitive to what she's been through and you've impressed her. You can't define any relationship at the very beginning hun and if you overthink it or put down too many guidelines, you'll stifle it. This is the same for everyone Miro. You're doing nothing wrong. Try not to panic so much - easier said than done I know.;) maybe flatmate doesn't want to be in the middle now? We can all get snappy with people we care about when we're stressed. Sometimes we become the victims of our own imaginations.
Text or phone S in the morning angel and simply say 'Would you like to meet up at....?' there's no harm in that. I do feel for you hun but there's no recipe here and if you don't try flying solo once in a while, you'll miss out on a great adventure. Relationships have to grow angel - they don't come ready made. And we're all afraid/nervous at the beginning.:o
If only it were as simple as it doing what it says on the box!:rolleyes:
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that all goes well. Just take it as it comes hun.
Tiff xxx