depression

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

CCStar, sorry things are hard
I'm not the most useful person tonight, so I won't offer any pearls of wisdom hehe

Don't worry, I get days like that too

rose07

Hi everyone
hope you all ok?
i am shattered, and only two days into the job, im very emotional, practically in tears now and just utter carp.

i this might be why . . . .

work is very hard work, but the people are lovely, and its quite a relaxed atmosphere, but i am infront of a computr for 7 hours a day and eyes hurt and head, bones hurt too, but back very sore , and i miss you guys.

Last night was on the go for 17 hours, was at work till half 5 met my mate (who went away today) for a meal and then went out for drinks.

when i was out last night me and my mate was in a bar two guys were hassling us i went outside one of the guys followed me, he started to try and kiss me and i pushed him away, then he pushed me against a wall and trapped me , and well it just wasnt nice, reminded me of the whole attack again!!, (carp its only bout 6 days till the dates :eek: )
I am very upset.....

i didnt want my mate to go, im going to miss her, she was my talking buddy.

just now we all sat down to dinner, i just came downstairs and everyone was arguing (not what i need after a hard day), then my mum starts shouting abuse at me, she starts to shout at everyone, the she walks out on us, lots of banging. she came back, but now she still annoyed and her and my dad arguing, and she keeps saying she is going to leave us as she doesnt care anymore.:(,

I have my appointment to see my councellor tomorrow, i have no idea what to say, and i have noo idea if i will say anything, i am terrified, i feel soo empty right now, just wanna die, im hurting soo much, tiff why does it have to hurt, tears rolling down me face now.

i dunno i dunno, whats going on?

i am soz im just rambling here and that its all about me, i have been thinking about you all soo much and couldnt wait to catch up with you all, but my mum has just pushed me over the edge tonight.

i have read through all the posts but not enough energy to reply to them all.

Hi CCStar and Miroslav

wel done miroslav on yesterday, i hope you are proud of yourself because you should be. CCStar how r u?

hi feelinggood, how are you doing with you OH, i hope you dont feel restricted or pinned down by your oh as i seen he is alot older and just wondered if you were happy with the relationship?

Flis, hope your well?

Mrs A, hope you doing ok too?

Betty, how are you?

and tiff my huni, i will get around to replying to your post to me, just cant tonight as im hurting soo much, (but i have alot to say to you so prob tomorrow, u lucky thing)i will get round to all of you. you are all in my heart always.xxx

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

I knew him for 6 months. I should have seen the signs but as I was having a hellish time with my hormones, I blamed my mother and thought being married would solve it, or at least get away from home. I couldn't afford to live alone, and thought my husband cared, so felt I would have support and a home.

He never copes with me when I am low and he either goes quiet or rants. I can't cope with it when he does that.

I had a very bad period which made me feel very depressed early in our relationship and I needed him to reassure me. He didn't and I felt he didn't care. Ever since, I felt very insecure and he never really reassured me. I thought by being married etc it would solve it.

After we got married, he blew hot and cold with me. I felt happy to start with but him being all odd with me, upset me. He never did any cleaning and we both worked full time. I told him I didn't do ALL the housework and I am not a housewife. I felt tired and he was horrible to me when I wanted to goto bed early. Sex was a minefield and he frequently rejected me and never made a move.

He is still giving me the silent treatment. I usually go and see him but I don't want to. He has been a prize c*nt tonight and he's blaming me.

I wish there was somewhere I could go so I can relax away from here. I feel really tense. I really hate the way he is treating me

Well, it's not your fault. When we are going through bad times, we like to think someone will care for us. I mean, 'S' could be using me and will end up like all the others. When we are low, we grab what we can.

I'd maybe leave him be tonight, for a change. Has he had bad previous relationships?

feelinggood_2

rose07 wrote:

hi feelinggood, how are you doing with you OH, i hope you dont feel restricted or pinned down by your oh as i seen he is alot older and just wondered if you were happy with the relationship?

Not really thinking that much about the relationship, just panicking about Germany now. And thinking about Mr X, still can't get him out of my head. He probably thinks I'm mad, I'm just rather keen on him :rotfl:
Still feeling bad about the self harm, can't believe I did it. Feel so guilty, trying to think of an excuse to tell OH if he sees.

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

Hi everyone
hope you all ok?
i am shattered, and only two days into the job, im very emotional, practically in tears now and just utter carp.

i this might be why . . . .

work is very hard work, but the people are lovely, and its quite a relaxed atmosphere, but i am infront of a computr for 7 hours a day and eyes hurt and head, bones hurt too, but back very sore , and i miss you guys.

Last night was on the go for 17 hours, was at work till half 5 met my mate (who went away today) for a meal and then went out for drinks.

when i was out last night me and my mate was in a bar two guys were hassling us i went outside one of the guys followed me, he started to try and kiss me and i pushed him away, then he pushed me against a wall and trapped me , and well it just wasnt nice, reminded me of the whole attack again!!, (carp its only bout 6 days till the dates :eek: )
I am very upset.....

i didnt want my mate to go, im going to miss her, she was my talking buddy.

just now we all sat down to dinner, i just came downstairs and everyone was arguing (not what i need after a hard day), then my mum starts shouting abuse at me, she starts to shout at everyone, the she walks out on us, lots of banging. she came back, but now she still annoyed and her and my dad arguing, and she keeps saying she is going to leave us as she doesnt care anymore.:(,

I have my appointment to see my councellor tomorrow, i have no idea what to say, and i have noo idea if i will say anything, i am terrified, i feel soo empty right now, just wanna die, im hurting soo much, tiff why does it have to hurt, tears rolling down me face now.

i dunno i dunno, whats going on?

i am soz im just rambling here and that its all about me, i have been thinking about you all soo much and couldnt wait to catch up with you all, but my mum has just pushed me over the edge tonight.

i have read through all the posts but not enough energy to reply to them all.

Hi CCStar and Miroslav

wel done miroslav on yesterday, i hope you are proud of yourself because you should be. CCStar how r u?

hi feelinggood, how are you doing with you OH, i hope you dont feel restricted or pinned down by your oh as i seen he is alot older and just wondered if you were happy with the relationship?

Flis, hope your well?

Mrs A, hope you doing ok too?

Betty, how are you?

and tiff my huni, i will get around to replying to your post to me, just cant tonight as im hurting soo much, (but i have alot to say to you so prob tomorrow, u lucky thing)i will get round to all of you. you are all in my heart always.xxx

Hi Rose

Sorry about what happened with the guy. You're not having much luck at the moment

Sorry to hear about your mate leaving too I'm gonna be distraught if and when 'S' leaves.

Sorry to hear times are hard. Alot of us are going through bad spells, and it's good to have this thread. It's not the same as being happy, but it helps me to type some things, even if I get no answers or solutions. I mean, I'm not any happier, but I know i've let off steam!

I am proud of what I achieved. It's still very early, so still she may not want to know me, but i'm gonna call her my friend, as she said we are......i'm used to getting hurt though, so this time will be no different. I'm just waiting until I do.

Take care, speak soon!

feelinggood_2

I don't know if I can do this

Horasio

I feel so worn out. I can't eat. I need to relax.

The b/stard has finally gone to bed

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Well, it's not your fault. When we are going through bad times, we like to think someone will care for us. I mean, 'S' could be using me and will end up like all the others. When we are low, we grab what we can.

I'd maybe leave him be tonight, for a change. Has he had bad previous relationships?

I said goodnight, so I could relax and not run into him later.

Yes he has had bad relationships. I care about him but his cr*p to me wasn't justified.:(

rose07

feelinggood wrote:

I don't know if I can do this[/QUOTE

whats wrong FG? course you can do it
are you worried about going to germany?
i hope you ok hun, you say you have self harmed i hope you ok and keeping care of them.
remember we all here if you need a chat.
xxx

Horasio

You sound to have had a very demanding day, Rose.

(((Big hugs)))

That man sounds to be a w*nker:mad: