depression

Miroslav

Bunnie1982 wrote:

*hugs for all*

Have been away over the weekend, glad to be back though.

Went to my job interviews on Friday, they went ok. Would love the one job but would hate the other job.

Hubby wanted to go to Blackpool on Saturday so all Friday night I cried because I didn't want to go and because I felt so anxious, it then took him about 40 minutes to persuade me to get out of bed the following day. Was it as bad as I expected? No it was worse, I felt panicked and anxious for about 70% of the time, had panic attacks and regularly stood completely still and cried.

Was glad to get home

Yesterday I spent the day with my parents which was nice and I felt that they started to understand a bit more what I have been going through and they were very supportive.

And then today....the beginning of another week, the same as any

Hope you get the job you want :T

Sorry Blackpool was no fun Glad you are back home, where it feels a little safer.

Good to hear parents are supportive too Hopefully it will last.

Miroslav

Okay.........

The last 14 hours have been MASSIVE for me, and I mean MASSIVE

A girl has agreed to meet me, although she is known to cancel ALOT, so I reckon it won't go ahead

Today, I went and registered with a dentist, which is a big thing for me.....well what isn't, but it went well. Going to get some work done, and we spoke about whitening etc, and when I get a job and save some money, I can get it done.

I really want it, and he said it is very possible to get what I want, over time.

So, a decent 14 hours......tick tock tick tock tick tock, the clock ticks until disaster strikes!

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Well done on the Car boot jellycat! I love wandering round car boot sales, never buy anything tho! Just go to have a nosey at peoples things :rotfl:

Good luck at the docs, hope she'll be pleased with the progress.

I did wonder why OH was so dismissive when I told him, now I know. He didn't apologise for not believing me either. he said he thought I'd probably led them on and it wasn't really rape.
I really wish I never told anyone you know. When I told my mum, she was really upset that not only did she let it happen to me, but also I felt I couldn't tell her. Would have been better for everyone if I'd have kept it to myself.

I would question staying with a partner like that. My husband has his faults but did believe me when I told him about the one time I had an older man try it on with me when I was 10. He was 40. It was just a passionate kiss but felt it wasn't right. It did give me screwed up ideas about whether men could just be friends. Luckily my mother believed me when I told her and she gave him such a row! I would have felt really dreadful if everyone had blamed me.

I don't blame you for being upset. If it is any consolation, I believe you and think these sub humans should have been dealt with. Describing them as animals is too good for them.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote:

Okay.........

The last 14 hours have been MASSIVE for me, and I mean MASSIVE

A girl has agreed to meet me, although she is known to cancel ALOT, so I reckon it won't go ahead

Today, I went and registered with a dentist, which is a big thing for me.....well what isn't, but it went well. Going to get some work done, and we spoke about whitening etc, and when I get a job and save some money, I can get it done.

I really want it, and he said it is very possible to get what I want, over time.

So, a decent 14 hours......tick tock tick tock tick tock, the clock ticks until disaster strikes!

Well done for registering with a dentist and for what you have acheived.:T

If she cancels, it is not the end. I am sure you can rearrange. If it is meant to be it will happen!

Horasio

Bunnie1982 wrote:

*hugs for all*

Have been away over the weekend, glad to be back though.

Went to my job interviews on Friday, they went ok. Would love the one job but would hate the other job.

Hubby wanted to go to Blackpool on Saturday so all Friday night I cried because I didn't want to go and because I felt so anxious, it then took him about 40 minutes to persuade me to get out of bed the following day. Was it as bad as I expected? No it was worse, I felt panicked and anxious for about 70% of the time, had panic attacks and regularly stood completely still and cried.

Was glad to get home

Yesterday I spent the day with my parents which was nice and I felt that they started to understand a bit more what I have been going through and they were very supportive.

And then today....the beginning of another week, the same as any

Hi Bunnie

I am sorry you felt panicky in Blackpool, you didnt go on any scary rides did you? Seriously, what triggered them?

I hope you get the job you are wanting.

Horasio

I feel a lot better today.

The cold is going and I have felt more like doing things. Colds that make you feel odd, scare me. I have a fear of feeling bad in front of people. It goes back to school, when I felt bullied, ganged up on and excluded I was at a low ebb. No-one ever bullied me when I felt good.

I shouldn't have said I felt good. A noisy neighbour is off work this afternoon and going to make a racket. Why can't he be at work? I really hate it here:mad:

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

Morning Guys
Went to the docs this morning, didn't go aswell as I'd have hoped. She's given me a questionairre to fill in, about my moods and stuff. Going back in a week. She wants to start me on Prozac, but after having such bad reactions to Citalopram and Seroxat, I'm hesitant - and OH is dead set against it.
Feeling a bit emotional - I had a talk with OH, and confessed that he didn't actually believe that I was raped He now wants me to tell him all about it, but I can't do that. I've tried so hard not to think about the details. Was like being back there last night - all the emotions and everything came back, finally thought about 'what' actually happened.
I'm feeling sad and lonely, how come people are always absent when you need 'em most? It can't be helped, but it is bad timing!

Read thru all the posts, but my minds gone a bit like a seive, so I can't really respond :-/

Miroslav, just wanted to wish you well, hope things go well for you.

I'm still a bit hesitant to post here after yesterday, the lovely PM I got too didin't help.

Hi

Have you tried Prozac before? I tried Seroxat and I ballooned up and got more emotional. Prozac is better.

I am sorry you got a nasty PM. If it was abusive, I would report it. I notice this thread got brought up in another 'what is acceptable on this forum' thread but I think she realised the error of her way. Don't let one sad person stop you posting.

You have a lot of issues to work through, and you are young and don't sound to have much support from your family. No-one can offer medical advice or solve it for you but talking over things can do nothing but help if people are as caring as they usually are.

Bunnie1982

CCStar wrote:

Hi Bunnie

I am sorry you felt panicky in Blackpool, you didnt go on any scary rides did you? Seriously, what triggered them?

I hope you get the job you are wanting.

I am fine with the rides, it was the volume of people that triggered it and also people doing stupid things


Glad to hear your cold is going

Horasio

Bunnie1982 wrote:

I am fine with the rides, it was the volume of people that triggered it and also people doing stupid things


Glad to hear your cold is going

I hate crowds too and it is their life if they want to be daft. Doesn't stop you worrying. I bet the lights were pretty.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Hi

Have you tried Prozac before? I tried Seroxat and I ballooned up and got more emotional. Prozac is better.

I am sorry you got a nasty PM. If it was abusive, I would report it. I notice this thread got brought up in another 'what is acceptable on this forum' thread but I think she realised the error of her way. Don't let one sad person stop you posting.

You have a lot of issues to work through, and you are young and don't sound to have much support from your family. No-one can offer medical advice or solve it for you but talking over things can do nothing but help if people are as caring as they usually are.

I've not tried prozac before, but I am considering it now. I've been on seroxat a couple of times - every time I was SH'ing alot whilst on it, and getting a lot of suicidal thoughts (and a few minor attempts). Citalopram really messed with me, didn't know if I was coming or going, don't remember that much. Remember walking to the doctors one day (the only time I ever left the house) and I was standing on the kerb of busy road thinking I could throw myself under a lorry or something. I'm still thinking about SH'ing occasionally, and thinking about suicide, but its managable. I don't want to go back on meds if its going to make me worse.

I married OH for all the wrong reasons. He does love me, he just can't really cope with me like this. He says I shouldn't feel guilty, but how can I not when I know my depression makes him miserable?

Still feeling miserable, I'm missing my friend