depression

Miroslav

CCStar wrote:

That is good if she is changing her lifestyle, maybe she will see what a decent bloke you are.

6 ft 9 in is very tall but I would see that as an advantage. I would feel very protected being with a person like that.

Sleep well and relax, you sound to be a lovely person.

I hope so. I do understand she may be very wary, I just hope in time, she'll see me as a good friend. It's what I want the most.

It can be an advantage being tall, in this case though, she's scared of that

I am a lovely person. That's not me being on an ego trip, you'll find it hard to find a male with less of an ego than myself, I just know i'm a nice person, but it's never really got me anywhere. Just like this girl, really really nice, gets used and abused. Life can be a bummer

Miroslav

flis21 wrote:

Hi All, Sorry I haven't been around for a while. Wow this thread has been busy the last few days. Can't get round to replying to everyone, but it seems people have been going through rough patches and I send Hugs to you all.

To Liz - I did actually start a depression thread in the Money Savers Arms section of this board, but one of the board gods moved it and merged it with this thread, so the board moderators obviously are aware of this thread and happy for it to exist here. If you are so concerned about it why not contact one of them instead of upsetting a group of people who are suffering as it is.

Well, I am having quite a good time at the moment, drinking a little too much (which I see is a common problem!!) but apart from that things are going fairly well. Really enjoying my new job, medication has solved my insomnia problem, getting 7-8 hours almost every night now.

Have my 'week one review' at work this morning, so feeling a little anxious, but I think things have been going ok.

It is wierd when I am going through a good patch I feel reluctant to post on here, as I feel it is 'rubbing it in' for those going through bad patches!!

One thing I did want to say to those on medication - do you know about the pre-payment prescription thing? I found out about it the other day on another thread on here. I take two meds every month and I have worked out buying the 4 month prepayment will save me about £5 every month and this way if I ever need a prescription for anything else it is already paid for!

Well, need to go and get ready for work now, but love to you all.

Good Luck with your review

Don't worry about 'rubbing it in' as you call it. It gives us all hope when one of us has some good news.

"In good times, in bad times, i'll be by your side forever more, that's what........."

As Stevie Wonder once sang

Miroslav

Good Luck to all today.

I know there are about a million posts to reply too, but i'm so tired, have a headache etc etc.

Today was a big day, tomorrow is a massive day. I've barely slept, knowing how important this is.

I apologise if I go on and on. This kinda thing only happens once every 5+ years to me..........when this goes wrong, you'll not hear anything like this again until the beginning of 2012 at the earliest

feelinggood_2

Morning Guys
Went to the docs this morning, didn't go aswell as I'd have hoped. She's given me a questionairre to fill in, about my moods and stuff. Going back in a week. She wants to start me on Prozac, but after having such bad reactions to Citalopram and Seroxat, I'm hesitant - and OH is dead set against it.
Feeling a bit emotional - I had a talk with OH, and confessed that he didn't actually believe that I was raped He now wants me to tell him all about it, but I can't do that. I've tried so hard not to think about the details. Was like being back there last night - all the emotions and everything came back, finally thought about 'what' actually happened.
I'm feeling sad and lonely, how come people are always absent when you need 'em most? It can't be helped, but it is bad timing!

Read thru all the posts, but my minds gone a bit like a seive, so I can't really respond :-/

Miroslav, just wanted to wish you well, hope things go well for you.

I'm still a bit hesitant to post here after yesterday, the lovely PM I got too didin't help.

jellycat40

Hi FG, can't believe that OH did not believe you.

I was raped 22 years ago and never once has my partner not believed me.

I had to go through it all again recently when I met my current partner and for the first time let myself really feel it. I can so understand what you were feeling. It is just like being back there in that situation so powerless and desperate you will do anything to make sure you survive.

Please be very, very kind to yourself today.

Louise

jellycat40

Just thought that I would let you all know that I have a docs appt this afternoon to see how she thinks my meds are working. I think that my mood is loads better, can be bothered with lots of things but and this is a bit but - I am tired all the time and I have completely lost my sex drive, even if I do get around to it - I don't arrive where I used to (if you see what I mean). It is as if my nerve endings have been bypassed!!!!

Other than that on a moneysaving theme to please those of us who think we shouldn't be here with out this element. OH and myself did a car boot sale yesterday (this shows how much better I am) and raised £200 and decluttered the house.

Money to be spent on Xmas.

Louise

feelinggood_2

Well done on the Car boot jellycat! I love wandering round car boot sales, never buy anything tho! Just go to have a nosey at peoples things :rotfl:

Good luck at the docs, hope she'll be pleased with the progress.

I did wonder why OH was so dismissive when I told him, now I know. He didn't apologise for not believing me either. he said he thought I'd probably led them on and it wasn't really rape.
I really wish I never told anyone you know. When I told my mum, she was really upset that not only did she let it happen to me, but also I felt I couldn't tell her. Would have been better for everyone if I'd have kept it to myself.

jellycat40

My Mum still doesn't know!!! I told my Dad at the time and he said well at least that was all they did!

At the end of the day you have to live with the assault and it is better to let those close to you know. How could anyone believe that rape can be caused by someone being led on? At the end of the day you could have all your clothes off and change your mind, if you are still forced to it is rape. You can say no at anytime. A real man will respect this. The animal that attacked you is not a man.

You may need more help with this. Have you told your GP? You could get some counselling. I don't know what is available in your area but there must be a womens group that could point you in the right direction. If you contact an abused womens group they will be able to tell you who locally could give you support.

Good luck with this and remember I am here if you need me.

Louise

Bunnie1982

*hugs for all*

Have been away over the weekend, glad to be back though.

Went to my job interviews on Friday, they went ok. Would love the one job but would hate the other job.

Hubby wanted to go to Blackpool on Saturday so all Friday night I cried because I didn't want to go and because I felt so anxious, it then took him about 40 minutes to persuade me to get out of bed the following day. Was it as bad as I expected? No it was worse, I felt panicked and anxious for about 70% of the time, had panic attacks and regularly stood completely still and cried.

Was glad to get home

Yesterday I spent the day with my parents which was nice and I felt that they started to understand a bit more what I have been going through and they were very supportive.

And then today....the beginning of another week, the same as any

Miroslav

feelinggood wrote:

Morning Guys
Went to the docs this morning, didn't go aswell as I'd have hoped. She's given me a questionairre to fill in, about my moods and stuff. Going back in a week. She wants to start me on Prozac, but after having such bad reactions to Citalopram and Seroxat, I'm hesitant - and OH is dead set against it.
Feeling a bit emotional - I had a talk with OH, and confessed that he didn't actually believe that I was raped He now wants me to tell him all about it, but I can't do that. I've tried so hard not to think about the details. Was like being back there last night - all the emotions and everything came back, finally thought about 'what' actually happened.
I'm feeling sad and lonely, how come people are always absent when you need 'em most? It can't be helped, but it is bad timing!

Read thru all the posts, but my minds gone a bit like a seive, so I can't really respond :-/

Miroslav, just wanted to wish you well, hope things go well for you.

I'm still a bit hesitant to post here after yesterday, the lovely PM I got too didin't help.

:T on making the doctor's

Sorry your OH didn't believe you All of my ex partners (3!) have all been either raped or sexually abused, 2 by their own fathers It's not something people would make up. I've been accused of making things up before, like when I was sexually abused when younger, and it bleeding well hurts!

I don't know your OH, but maybe he wants you to talk about it, to help him understand? Maybe he's scared? He could just be being horrible and checking out if he still believes it is untrue, but you never know. However, if you don't feel able to talk about it, don't. I wouldn't force anyone to talk about their pain, but i'd make sure the person knew I was there, if they needed to talk.

I hope things go well for me too. I'm used to things going wrong, so no doubt very soon, things will.