Pregnant, but seperated. He wants to get back together.

Pee

Since he is your husband, it doesn't really matter whose name the house is in.

I think you should have a half hour free consultation about finances should you choose to stay apart. I think you might find that you are in a better position than you expect.

On the other hand, you did get together very young and I wonder whether there was any curiousity involved in his one night stand? I'm not very sympathetic to the line I did it because I was drunk because I've often been drunk and never done anything I didn't think of doing sober. I may have said things I regretted but I thought them sober. Lots of people use this as an excuse, which maybe means the drink affects them in a different way.

I think his imput as a father is the pivotal point here, and the decider for me as to whether I would give him a second chance.

salesaddict

GobbledyGook wrote: »

He just felt that we were over so me and the girls moving into the flat seemed like the best option to him. He's no idea why he didn't think he should move out as he can't really explain why he acted the way he did. That's the thing I need him to work out and explain. TBH it was also my first reaction as well to get out to my childhood home where no-one could take it from me and it was safe. I think we both need to think about that one. He wouldn't have suggested I leave if I hadn't had the option of the flat.

The reason I'm staying out and finding somewhere else is because I want to find somewhere that is affordable for me without 100% relying on his help as I wasn't sure in the how we were going to get on and how long it would take to sort money and maintenance etc. The house we lived in is a 6 bed house that costs a blooming fortune to run, I couldn't afford it on my own.

We have been together since we were 17 and the house was bought after we married (at 19). The mortgage is solely in his name because I wasn't working at the time (I now work 2 days a week) so couldn't get a mortgage in my name.



I think I'm going to continue with our plan to sort out the finances and find somewhere for the girls and I to live and see what happens over the next few months. I do want my life back for me and the kids and I do love him, but I think I need to be sure that is for the right reasons and not just because it's all I've known. With the girls and the baby we'll see a lot of each other and I'd rather we worked out everything amicably then ended up back together so it being not needed than rush back together and end up with a bitter break up in a few months. It would be very easy to just get back together and try and forget everything, but I remembered in bed last night my Nana telling me that the tough things in life are usually the ones that are best in the end.

Thank you. I'll probably pester you more throughout the coming months as I'm scared of having a tiny baby to look after all by myself, but I've surprised myself by coping well with the girls myself so I'll be ok I think. It's just been good to let it all out and to think about the questions some of you mentioned that I hadn't thought of.

Thanks. Gemma

You are a very brave lady and I have no doubt that you will cope with whatever comes your way. I really wish you all the best and I do admire the courage you are showing. I will make sure to follow your thread in the coming months.