Oh Lordy, some advice here please!

LondonDiva

From a child protection point of view, please can you print off a number of copies. You must contact the school tomorrow and ask to speak to the head of year & then submit a copy of the print out each to the head teacher & head of year, asking that they put child protection mesures into action immediately. Bear in mind that you may not get full details about the outcome, but you can formally ask for assurrance that this was dealt with in line with school and local authority child protection / bullying policies.

While you would feel more comfortable speaking to a woman, that may not be the most practical or appropriate way to have this dealt with and it's important not to let your personal squeamishness about the matter distract from getting this child the help she needs. the Head / HOY need to be informed, no one at a lower level or just because it's less embarrasing.

You do also need to report this to FB and also take the time to see if any of those making horrid comments are friends with your children. If so, only you will know how best to speak to them about their friends / how people can be drawn into situations they're not comfortable with due to peer pressure. Your daughter obviously told you for a reason as she felt that 'mum' would step in to make it all right and your son was uncomfortable - this is to your credit, but you do need to follow up.

Sorry to come across so strong, but a lot of the cases at work involving child abuse / children going off the rails and requiring significant mental health/social services etc input would have something like this in the past. We often complain that social services / schools don't spot problems in time to prevent harm - here's a case of where the OP can step in to do her bit to protect a child (sorry a little sensitive at the mo, had a nasty case recently where people outside 'officialdom' knew things / there were pictures like in this case, but didn't want to cause ructions, or let someone know & next thing we know, there was a suicide attempt and a child a long way from a normal life)

LydiaJ

When you phone the school, say you need to speak urgently to the member of staff responsible for child protection. Every school has to have one, and they must have been trained to deal with these sorts of things. You may well get a much more helpful response than if you talk to the head or head of year.

daska

I'm going to get a bit more personal here. DS1 was subjected to bullying by inappropriate photos being taken of him which could have ended up on facebook etc. I contacted both his school and the school the 'offenders' attended and both insisted that I contact the police. The police then contacted the schools and actually went into the schools and talked with the lads about the potential consequences. It turned out that this was only the tip of the iceberg where DS1 was concerned and he had been subject to a lot of bullying which he, and other adults(!), had deliberately not told me about because of my state of health. End result was DS1 moving 200 miles away. While keeping mum about things like this prevents a small amount of personal embarrassment, bringing it to the attention of those that can help might stop a family disintegrating.

kazmeister

Just before Christmas my daughter came home from school with a letter about facebook as some children had accounts and were making nasty comments about other class members. The school acted quickly even though it had nothing to do with the them being outside of the 'gates' and I'm glad my daughter wasnt involved - she doesnt have a FB account as they are only in year 6 :eek:

DVardysShadow

LondonDiva wrote: »

From a child protection point of view, please can you print off a number of copies. You must contact the school tomorrow and ask to speak to the head of year & then submit a copy of the print out each to the head teacher & head of year, asking that they put child protection mesures into action immediately. Bear in mind that you may not get full details about the outcome, but you can formally ask for assurrance that this was dealt with in line with school and local authority child protection / bullying policies.

Bearing in mind the warnings about the likely illegal nature of the material and the current state of National Hysteria about Peado issues, printing it off and passing over copies is likely to be the daftest course of action going in terms of personal consequences.

DVardysShadow

shellsuit wrote: »

I wonder if I could get into my daughters facebook account ~ if I ask her to go onto it so I can print it off, then it all blows up, my kids will know it was me and they could have repercussions. (Your Mum grassed me up blah blah blah)

You will do yourself less favours by getting into her account without her consent than with. But printing off is risky for you anyway

omen666

All those posting that shellsuit should go to the school. I think that is the wrong advice here personally. Would take all to long and the school will take ages doing anything about it regardless.

As stated by one above report to CEOP. They have people on standby 24hrs a day and will deal with it asap

fsdss

personally i would not be printing off a copy of the photo - i'm sure its an offence to possess such materal of a child, with or without good intentions.

ring the police - i know that some specialist squads can access facebook and remove images before investigation commences

shellsuit

LondonDiva wrote: »

From a child protection point of view, please can you print off a number of copies. You must contact the school tomorrow and ask to speak to the head of year & then submit a copy of the print out each to the head teacher & head of year, asking that they put child protection mesures into action immediately. Bear in mind that you may not get full details about the outcome, but you can formally ask for assurrance that this was dealt with in line with school and local authority child protection / bullying policies.

While you would feel more comfortable speaking to a woman, that may not be the most practical or appropriate way to have this dealt with and it's important not to let your personal squeamishness about the matter distract from getting this child the help she needs. the Head / HOY need to be informed, no one at a lower level or just because it's less embarrasing.

You do also need to report this to FB and also take the time to see if any of those making horrid comments are friends with your children. If so, only you will know how best to speak to them about their friends / how people can be drawn into situations they're not comfortable with due to peer pressure. Your daughter obviously told you for a reason as she felt that 'mum' would step in to make it all right and your son was uncomfortable - this is to your credit, but you do need to follow up.

Sorry to come across so strong, but a lot of the cases at work involving child abuse / children going off the rails and requiring significant mental health/social services etc input would have something like this in the past. We often complain that social services / schools don't spot problems in time to prevent harm - here's a case of where the OP can step in to do her bit to protect a child (sorry a little sensitive at the mo, had a nasty case recently where people outside 'officialdom' knew things / there were pictures like in this case, but didn't want to cause ructions, or let someone know & next thing we know, there was a suicide attempt and a child a long way from a normal life)

Don't worry at all, you haven't.

I spoke to OH about it just before and he is worried as I am about the backlash this girl will get when they all go back to school on Tuesday.

I've been looking on facebook and with the new privacy settings (if anyone has FB they will know what I mean), it means I can actually look at both girls accounts as they haven't changed their priv settings.

The girl in the pic, well her 'wall' on facebook is awful. There are comments left from people calling her all the names under the sun.

Hopefully, if I can get to speak to someone tomorrow, they will be able to think about speaking to them first thing Tues morning.

That's if they do anything at all, but fingers crossed.

ceebeeby

I'm with the above - I don't see what it's got to do with the school. Needs to be handled by the police / ceops / facebook / her parents etc.

Poor girl - thank goodness someone sensible is lookign out for her!