First day of rest of my life

Cialilerin

Have decided that the way forward is to really cut back and have lived by this for the last 15 days! I want to be debt free in as little time as possible. I have explained this to my family and they have all said they understand; THEY LIED:mad:
DH is officially rubbish! He has said he is on board and wants to be debt free as much as i want it! However, he forgot to mention that he doesn't actually want to make any effort whatsoever or to be inconvenienced in anyway at all.:mad: In the last 2 weeks, he has bought fish and chips for the kids and himself twice while I was at work, he buys the kids sweets after school on occasions, he has to buy lunch when he isn't working locally as he 'doesn't like packed lunches' and today he arrived home with a cake and cookies from Greggs, because apparently the kids need a treat (and the 3 pkts of choc chip cookies that I bought this morning for £1 weren't enough:mad:)

I have to accept that he is just a man (sorry to all the good men that support their partners with debt busting or even instigate it!!) and accept that I am on my own with this - thank God I have the support of all you to keep me going - THANK YOU :T

InaPickle

Poor you, Cialilerin! There must be nothing more frustrating than when you are busting a gut and don't feel like you are getting any support.

If you were to add up how much DH has spent on 'treats' this week and show him the figure and explain that this is money that you don't currently have, would that help, or would he feel that you were watching his every move?

If nothing else, I hope your rant makes you feel better. x

Cialilerin

Thanks Pickle, I did feel better after the rant.
I have given up trying to get him to understand. Dh has a strange outlook on our debts. Until I started looking after our finances, no one looked after them. We used to just look at what was in the bank and so long as we were able to take money out, we never cared, we certainly never thought about dd's etc coming out so regularly had to pay charges. Dh still has this mind set!!
I then sort of wised up and would try to look ahead, but while I was ill I would buy things etc and thought that as long as were able to cover the minimum payments, we could afford it. Obviously I now realise that was a stupid way of thinking but he just hasn't caught on yet. He still looks at the cc's and thinks that because we haven't reahed the limit, that we still have money. :mad:
So now I have to work things around his way of thinking - I will try and have all of our dd's taken out immediately after pay-day. That way when he checks the balance, whatever is in there will be the diposable income until payday. Not sure how this will work with making over payments but it's worth a go.
Anyway, rant over - again.
Have a good Sunday x

Herewego

I feel your pain my DH is no better, if he wants it hes having it he says well we have equity in the house if all else fails sell the house and pay the bills off.
He still wastes money but is not quite as bad as he was but thats because we avoid the shops at weekends, im determind to clear this debt then when its gone his cards are going or he can sort them out. This could be so much easier if he was on board but i guess lifes not meant to be easy, been trying to get him to give up smoking for the last 8 years when I did but still he sets fire to ££'s everyday just so he can smell like an ashtray.
Sorry rant over didnt mean to take over your diary, but i know where your coming from.
Maybe you should have another account with your bank where you can put some money that he cant get to if there is less take out you wont get left short I have to do this as DH manages to lose receipts they just disappear in his pockets then i get nice surprises when i look at the bank.

Polly_Wolly_Doodle

Morning C,
Yup i think men are in a little bubble too, for months i think i've come out of the cc fog and wanted to cut down but he does the food shopping and cooking and was carrying on spending on ccs at Tesco.
Now we have reached the end of the credit and limits are being reduced and he's been rejected for new ccs, he's finally (i hope) realised that he has to LOOK at what he's putting in a trolly and add it up as he goes along i think he's trying.
It's tricky we used to stock up at Costco, more economic to buy in bulk etc but NOT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY!!!
Ohhh don't start us all off on men!

PWD X

Herewego

MEN I cant complain anymore he has just changed a fuse in the lights its only taken 2 1/2 YEARS :rotfl:
Would have done it myself but couldnt reach even with a ladder

Cialilerin

We have everything in a joint account with the exception of the childrens allowance which goes into a separate account in my name. We have always use this for childcare but thankfully we no longer have this expense so this is my end of the month money
My Dh does have lots of good points, but money saving isn't one of them...

REDMADCURLS

Oh Cialilerin, here we go again.................same man!

All I can say is that I removed all access to cc's (there is a rant on my diary when he spent £100's without telling me, and in temper I threw them in the fire!) We have one in the house and he has used it twice since that night, total spend.........£20!

He does have access to cash as he collects it from customers but I am rigid in checking what he should have in his pocket and it has caused many disagreements when he can't account for £50.

This may not work for you but have to say, it was the only way my little cherub was going to get it and trust me, some days he doesn't!

Failing that, hit him over the head with a frying pan x

Cialilerin

Exhausted with everything else - may need to go straight to frying pan

REDMADCURLS

ANy judge would understand - as long as they are female but I will gladly be a character witness