OH Advice please.. bit long!!

LegalBlonde

Totally agree with you Thorsoak. There are so many posts lately ranging from what do I do about my OH, I want to earn more money, I want to save money on food, I want to do this great idea, with little information or immediate disagreement from OP that sometimes I want to say - what response did you want us to give you??? Did you want validation that you are right and he is wrong???

But sometimes you don't really get a straight answer so there is only so much you can do.

woof_12

Right problem are:

Why lie about her ringing when she did not... excuse to see her????

That night he went to friends due back midnight... back in 40 minutes traffic too bad.. said he called mate to let him know he wasn't coming... Never called mate.. why lie

third why txt her and then delete txt if it is only to ask what to get me for xmas? and why ask her anyway????

woof_12

:jforgot to say thanks for advice anyway

LegalBlonde

woof_12 wrote: »

Right problem are:

Why lie about her ringing when she did not... excuse to see her????

That night he went to friends due back midnight... back in 40 minutes traffic too bad.. said he called mate to let him know he wasn't coming... Never called mate.. why lie

third why txt her and then delete txt if it is only to ask what to get me for xmas? and why ask her anyway????

Woof, you KNOW there is only one person who can answer your questions and he ain't on here.

LegalBlonde

woof_12 wrote: »

:jforgot to say thanks for advice anyway

Woof you are more than welcome and I know you are in a tough position but my questions still stand - what could we possibly say to help you, what would want him to say if you did confront him, what possible solution can there be apart from talking to him about it?

woof_12

Update:

Spoke to him about it all....

he does not know why he lied still can't give me an answer just seemed a good idea at the time

did attempt to go to his friends but can't answer why the phone does not show that he called him to cancel

just asked her for advice for present as seemed a good idea!!

after 2 hours of discussions it turns out he is deeply upset that I could even think that there is something going on and is so hurt and angry!!!!

cue no more talking and now no talking at all... must admit the quiteness is nice!!!!

Thanks for listening x

jess1974

Op i think you should take him to the cleaners....

nickyhutch

I never understand why anyone in a relationship with valid questions like these to which they want an answer to can just have a conversation about it and not get those answers! For goodness' sake, you've been with this man for 16 years. Sit down, have the talk again, and when he shrugs his shoulders, or says "I don't know", tell him that's not good enough, doesn't answer your question, and that you want an answer.

woof_12

nickyhutch wrote: »

I never understand why anyone in a relationship with valid questions like these to which they want an answer to can just have a conversation about it and not get those answers! For goodness' sake, you've been with this man for 16 years. Sit down, have the talk again, and when he shrugs his shoulders, or says "I don't know", tell him that's not good enough, doesn't answer your question, and that you want an answer.

believe me I have tried the calm / shouty / happy / sad person and after nearly a month that is all I am getting!!!!

nickyhutch

woof_12 wrote: »

believe me I have tried the calm / shouty / happy / sad person and after nearly a month that is all I am getting!!!!

So why are you with someone who wont or can't communicate with you? If he knows this is so important to you (and it is, if you're still asking him about it a month later) why isn't he making the effort to explain what he did?