OH Advice please.. bit long!!

LegalBlonde

16 years!?! Talk to him now!

woof_12

Don't trust him now unfortunatley due to him lying to me.. done it before but he always gets found out!

Didn't get anything for xmas

don't want to keep going over it as have nothing else proof wise..

but it is niggling at me!

woof_12

LegalBlonde wrote: »

16 years!?! Talk to him now!

tried and got the your the only one for me speech!!!

wannaberich1

I'm having a similar issue with my OH and a girl that he works with, she texts him and he deletes it then denies it was ever there (Even tho I saw it)

I think you need to sit him down and explaing exactly how it is making you feel and that it is totally unacceptable that he is talking to another woman and then denying it to you as it is making you really suspicious, also tell him that if he had any respect for you at all he would a)not be hiding the fact that they talk or just not talk to her.. Ask him how he would feel if it was the other way around and you were talking to another man behind his back... it's seems to have worked for me so far...

Try not to worry, sometimes when a tiny bit of doubt creeps in to our minds it can take over.. I hope you get this sorted out OP as it's not a nice situation to be in.

Take care xx

mumslave

right so he doesnt do anything about the house all day despite being at home

he lies to you

he never bought you anything for xmas

you dont trust him

so you are with him because?

LegalBlonde

I am sorry Woof and I don't mean to judge you and come across as harsh but I can only go on the info you are giving me.

(a) You have been together 16 years
(b) You suspect something with the cleaner, he says you are the only one for me
(c) HE DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING FOR XMAS (Full stop)
(d) He has done it BEFORE!!! and got found out
(e) You don't trust him

What can we possibly say in that case? It appears that no matter what he tells you, you won't believe him?? Never mind no xmas present, never mind him doing it before (!!!!) but it seems that you will only be happy if he admits to you that he has done something. It appears that if he says anything else you won't believe him anyway ???

I think you need to tell him that this situation has made you realise that since he has done it before, no matter what he says you can't trust him. I don't know what you said at the time but if you said you can forgive and forget etc you need to tell him that you have now realised you obviously can't.

Is he there right now??? Do you talk about if often??? I just can't imagine the day to day life of a couple where "he has done it before but is always found out."

woof_12

mumslave wrote: »

right so he doesnt do anything about the house all day despite being at home

he lies to you

he never bought you anything for xmas

you dont trust him

so you are with him because?

he works from home and sometimes and and about

yep

yep but I didn't buy him anything either

yep

dunno!!

emsywoo123

mumslave wrote: »

right so he doesnt do anything about the house all day despite being at home

he lies to you

he never bought you anything for xmas

you dont trust him

so you are with him because?

I'm expecting the L word to be mentioned
But :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:at your direct analysis, love it

woof_12

Sorry Legal blonde prob didn't make my self clear.. I meant lie to be before and I found out...

We split up 10 years ago for 6 weeks but it was my decision to take him back and up until this incident I was ok with life...


ps we often don't buy xmas presents and use the money for holidays instead saying that I got diamonds for my b'day !!!

Money_maker

If he were to post on here, OP, what would his take on this be?

Sounds like you need some professional guidance. You dont even like him - do you? I would never advocate abandoning a marriage unless there really was a problem but it doesn't even sound as though you have a relationship.

So sorry I cant help.