14 month old refuses to sleep for mummy.

elektra-2007

If he sleeps for dad straight away id have a cuddle downstairs and send him on his merry way with his dad, he knows it upsets you. Once he knows you not desperate to put him to bed he might change, he can sense a battle with you. On the days you have to put him to bed coz dad isnt in, id simply do it very quickly no fuss and ignore his crying. As for day time naps..leave him to it dont try, if he falls asleep on your lap fine, If not just leave him till bed time. I wouldnt bother battling with him, toddlers are mega stubbern, and it will only stress you out.

mrsa

My suggestion is that you put him back in a cot. I understand you said the crying started before this change but I think this is the first step to getting this sorted.
You said you did controlled crying when he was little so I strongly suggest you do this again. But now he is a toddler and not a baby so be prepared that YES he will cry and scream and YES it will be alot harder than last time. You really have to be prepared. And never give up.
I have 2 boys who both always have slept through. Because there is no other option.
After a few rough nights you will wonder what the problem ever was. .
Good Luck.
x

HopeAndDriftWood

You seem to shoot down everyone's suggestions, but I will say this anyway.
I'm also a nanny/qualified NN, and I think its a lot harder to look after your own kids.
Your husband won't stand for nonsense, and won't let him watch kids TV. Your son has learnt not to misbehave for him. You need to follow suit, whether it be by smacking or just by being firmer then you currently are. You might not be a soft touch, but your son clearly sees you as the softer touch, and feels he can play up.

If you aren't willing to be stricter, you need to implement a routine.

Penny35_2

chickywiggle wrote: »

difference is hubby doesn't read him a story and is more physical (too much so in my eyes) when DS is 'naughty'. I prefer to use time out then a smack.

he pins him down by the dummy and won't physically let him move after we have done 8 episodes of crying (leaving it longer each time) sorry but I do not agree with this method and refuse to do it.

You must be so frustrated hope you sort it out.

Have to say if someone pinned me down by my dummy and physically would not let me move you would not hear anything from me, same as smacking.

I really hope you dont adopt dads methods.

I would stick to your methods, he is only a baby afterall.

shellsuit

From reading your posts, it seems Daddy won't take any crap, that's why he doesn't play up for him, but you are softer with him (and that's not an insult!), so he pushes you to see how far he can get.

I'd knock the kids TV off for a start and I'd also leave him during the day. If he's tired he will sleep, if he doesn't sleep he's obviously not that tired.

What diet does he have? Is it the same on the days you and his Daddy have him? Could he possibly be eating or drinking something which is giving him that bit more energy when you have him?

If I didn't agree with the way my OH was with, with our baby (the holding down etc), I would be having words and I'd have it stopped ASAP. Baby must be confused as he doesn't have a constant set routine.

I'm shocked that smacking has been mentioned though, he's only a baby!

mumslave

I do find there is a window with some kids, where if they dont go to sleep in time as such, they become over tired. As an insomniac adult, there is nothing worse than trying to get to sleep when you are well passed the tiredness level, with babies it seems they eventually pass out more than fall asleep, once they get over tired. I used to put mine down the very second they showed any flicker of tiredness, to try to avoid getting to the over tired stage.

dtc04

SaucySecrets wrote: »

You seem to shoot down everyone's suggestions, but I will say this anyway.
I'm also a nanny/qualified NN, and I think its a lot harder to look after your own kids.
Your husband won't stand for nonsense, and won't let him watch kids TV. Your son has learnt not to misbehave for him. You need to follow suit, whether it be by smacking or just by being firmer then you currently are. You might not be a soft touch, but your son clearly sees you as the softer touch, and feels he can play up.

If you aren't willing to be stricter, you need to implement a routine.

Couldnt agree with you more about it being harder to look after your own children. I can get any of them to sleep at work, but dd1 refused to nap at all after 6 months! :eek:

Zazen999

OP - you're very defensive!

jamesb1239

chickywiggle wrote: »

am a qualified NN

he pins him down by the dummy and won't physically let him move

Well personally from those two parts of your post chickywiggle I am quite astonished, as a qualified Nursery Nurse I can only assume that you have done some work on Child Protection (how to identify it and what to do about it) and in my view and i'm sure the view of many others that is nothing other than Child Abuse.
A child will test boundaries and compared to daddy you are a soft touch whether you like to hear that or not. You have received lots of good advice on here but appear to have brushed off everybodys comments.

My opinion is that your little one no longer needs to have a nap and is of that age where they need intensive stimulation (not put in a buggy and took round town kind of thing) and they need to tire themselves out. None of the methods here will work instantly as it will take several days for them to fall into a routine you just need to persivere with anything that you try, as a point of call why not contact your health visitor for a referral to a sleep therapist who will come and discuss the problems with you and your OH and work with you to solve them.

I will probably get shot down for my views expressed here but it's my opinion.

grey_lady

Just been reading the original post, and I wondered does daddy tire him out more by more active playing on his days?

I dont think you should do what your husband does if you feel its to extreme but it could be confusing in that you, your husband and your childminder have quite different approaches/boundaries where it comes to nap-time. E.g he doesnt have to nap when he's with the childminder and that's fine, he does with daddy and he does/doesnt with you?

If the controlled crying worked when he was 3 months have you read Gina Ford's the contented toddler years? I know that you said you don't want a routine "we agreed no fixed routine " but it might be worth keeping an open mind about routines.