Right Age Of Having A Baby?!

crutches

((((((((((oh miroslav)))))))) you are such a good parent.Your daughter was very lucky.

i had children at 18,21,23,29,31,35.(stopped now lol!)
all the right ages.

miroslav has it exactly right.

lady_fuschia

I'll probably get slated for this, but I will qualify it! I have always felt like I would never dream of having kids younger than 30. Its a personal thing obviously. One thing that does irritate me is how there are so many news stories claiming that women are "Selfish" for leaving pregnancy until their 30's and wanting to establish their career and lives and "have it all" before having kids. My main reasons are that I would like to be on a good wage, own my own house and be able to give my kids the best life possible. I also want to make sure that I really do want children, and also that I have a chance to do things like travelling, going out, having all night parties etc whilst I'm still young, without having to compromise my children's well-being. I don't think that's selfish at all. If I'd had a child between 18-22 (regardless of not having a steady relationship or place to live) I would have had to drop out of university. Between then and now there is no way I could have supported a child- I can hardly support myself!
Yet everywhere I turn people are telling me "quick have babies before we run out!"

I know there's a fertility issue here- but my maxim when people ask has always been
"I'd rather regret not having children than regret having them."
Besides, there's always adoption. Having children young because you want them and feel ready is one thing, but I worry that too many women are starting to have them before they are really ready because of media scaremongering about biological clocks.
Rant over!

janthemum

I had my two at 23 and then 25.i probably will get slated for this but IMHO I feel early twenties is best and over say 35 it is selfish on parents behalf to consider kids. Im 38 now young at heart but feel how could I have a child now as when kid wasnt even at secondary school i would be 50 and this would be so unfair on them. Sorry just my opinion.

roversbabe

I'm 32 and expecting my 1st baby - whatever is best for each person. 32 is right for me!

I'll probably get slated for this but roversbloke is 43 - this is NOT too old to become a 1st time dad and I know he'll be a fantastic dad.

rb x

wigginsmum

janthemum - why do you think it would be unfair on the kid to have older parents? I think older parents can be brilliant parents - it really depends on the individuals and their circumstances.

lady_fuschia

I'm 25 and the idea of having kids now would just be out of the question. I've only been with other half 2 years, I haven't really got on the career ladder and are nowhere near financially stable. I would also secretly resent their taking over my life because I'm not psychologically ready for the commitment kids require. I actually think it'd be pretty selfish for me to have kids now to be honest.
Some mums have kids young and that's fine- but I think too much guilt tripping is directed at mother's who decide to wait- maybe they just wnat to give their kids a better life?

Nurse_Bambi

I'm nearly 35 but don't feel ready. I wish I had 5 or 6 more years before I even had to start thinking about it. The reason is that I've travelled, had fun and studied and just started a new career.

I'm with someone but our 6 year relationship is a bit rocky at the moment, it could go either way... We do both want kids and I'm not sure whether to hang around, sort our relationship and then we'd start trying next year or move on and start trying to find someone else before its too late. its sad really.

Murtle

I'm 30 and feel too old. Funny isn't it just the incredible wide spread of ages and readiness, I guess it's one per person. I always wanted 4 children!! Ah well, life is full of surprises. My OH is not even ready for children now, maybe he never will be!!

funky-footprints

Murtle 30 isnt old !!!!!

But i do think that mums over 40 something are pushing it, but i only have that opinion from taking a back seat and watching my mother in law fall apart at every hurdle at her attempts to make a perfect parent.

Murtle

funky-footprints wrote:

Murtle 30 isnt old !!!!!

But i do think that mums over 40 something are pushing it, but i only have that opinion from taking a back seat and watching my mother in law fall apart at every hurdle at her attempts to make a perfect parent.

No it's not old or too old in general, but too old for me. I guess my priorities have changed and it doesn't feel right anymore like it used to!