Right Age Of Having A Baby?!

Thriftylady

I'm 30 and expecting my first. Physically, I feel like I'm too old to be having my first, ideally I would have done it in maybe my mid twenties. I kept thinking I wanted to have a career first, but the career never came, I've been stuck in a dead end job, and I really wish I had started my family ages ago, as I put so much of my life on hold in the hope of having a career.

Having said that, my OH just wouldn't have been ready five years ago, he's struggling with the idea as it is, so the choice wasn't mine to make.

funky-footprints

just picked my daughter up from nursery, of a class of 3 & 4 year olds Us mums range in age from 27 to 45 ( we had to guess 45 mums age as she wouldnt play !!) ! my son is in reception, he is 5, i am officially the only mum under 40 !! Im 32 !!

27 & 28 having number 1 & 2 ... 32 and pregnant with number 3!!

nottslass_2

i had my first at 18 and my second at 34. when i had my first i had no money,bad housing and ended up as a single parent by the time he was 2, (anybody who is or has ever been a single parent will know how tough that is) although i love DS and would never have been without him,it was hard at times. when no 2 came along i was in a happy secure relationship with no major money worries, so was therefor able to enjoy the joys of early motherhood , so i suppose its more to do with circumstances than age. although now youngest is now 4 and i would dearly like another i do feel that perhaps i'm getting on a bit now !

boltonangel

as you will prob have read in previous posts, i had my 1st at 18 (he's now 3 and a half).
i do not regret the decision at all, without having him when i did we would not have been able to get on the property ladder alone, let alone live where we live now.
workwise, we are both now in managerial positions and i feel we would not have got there if we hadn't had ds, as he gave us the motivation to do something with our lives.
we're considering a 2nd child, but are unsure whether to wait until we're in our late 20's, we're both 22 now.
on the other hand i don't want there to be too much of an age gap between ds and baby.

Stormybay

Interesting thread.......
I had my first at 22 and the last at 33 with a few inbetween!!!!
They are now 20, 19, 18, 16 and 10, and a grandson of 8mths.
I can honestly say that I've had a lot more time and patience for DD aged 10, but have no regrets about any of them, the very best bit is being a grandma and my eldest children are now my best friends.............I think you have to do what feels right at the time bearing in mind that DS (19) was the only planned one..........eeeekkkkkk

Spendless

boltonangel wrote:

as you will prob have read in previous posts, i had my 1st at 18 (he's now 3 and a half).
i do not regret the decision at all, without having him when i did we would not have been able to get on the property ladder alone, let alone live where we live now.
workwise, we are both now in managerial positions and i feel we would not have got there if we hadn't had ds, as he gave us the motivation to do something with our lives.
we're considering a 2nd child, but are unsure whether to wait until we're in our late 20's, we're both 22 now.
on the other hand i don't want there to be too much of an age gap between ds and baby.

What's your reason for wanting to wait until you are in your late 20s? Personally I'd say go for it. It sounds as if you both have good jobs, low mortgage and are not keen on a big age gap between siblings. You could always have your 3rd late 20s;)

shelly

Personally I'd say if you feel ready now then go for it. No-one knows what life has in store for them. I was 28 when hubby and I started trying, got pregnant in 2 months the first time but second time took 18 months, sadly lost both pregnancies and to top it all off I am having surgery for cervical cancer on Monday. After the surgery we won't be able to try for at least 6 months, by then I'll be nearly 31, not very old to some people but with my history its not good.
I know a woman who had her first then took 6 yrs to fall again. On the other hand some women fall quickly.

If you're ready go for it. Live for today because you don't know whats round the corner. If you leave it nature might not fall in with your plans.

Bargain_Rzl

This is interesting... I'm nearly 28, single, and not planning to have kids - probably ever.

I was incredibly broody at 14/15 and if I had been having sex at that age, I may well have been like Wanty and started very young. Now - although I'm very happy in my life - I am set in my ways of being single and childless to the extent that I cannot conceive (pun not intended) of ever having children.

I have no doubts whatsoever that if I met the right man, I might change my mind. Or indeed, that if I got pregnant accidentally (which, because of my values, would only happen in a serious long term relationship anyway) I would give my all to it and be grateful and thankful to have a child. However, I'd rather not. I like babies and children, I even get the classic female haywire hormones when holding somebody else's baby, but it still doesn't make me want one.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that biological clock is not the only reason for having kids sooner rather than later. Becoming set in your ways is like a big hammer that crushed the biological clock. So if you think, in the long term, that kids are important to you, perhaps younger is better.

I know these things aren't the same for everybody. I have a good friend who's 46, had her daughter at 43, and is a wonderful mum (and I know a lot of men of similar ages with slightly younger partners who have only recently started their families).

The funny thing is, when I was in the relationship I recently got out of, my mum told me on a couple of occasions that she hoped I didn't make her a grandmother yet as she wasn't old enough! I had to tell her, while reassuring her that I had no plans in that direction, that she was being a wee bit hypocritical as when she was my age, I was 2 and my sister was well on the way! If she didn't want to be a grandma at 52 she shouldn't have had me at 25 - I could have made her a grandmother at 42 should I have been that way inclined! :rolleyes:

Rzl xx

Josiegirl

Wow siamese! That is close, then the last ten years later! Had mine at 18, 20, and 21 then tubes tied. Have never once regretted it, occasionally get a bit clucky at 41 but then I remind myself that grandkids arent too far away:) There's no right or wrong age, guess it's when you're ready and if by some chance you aren't, well... you just have to be. As a solo mum for most of the growing years Lord only knows how I managed! Lots of love and crossed fingers I think. The boys are all doing well, are in steady relationships, with strong work ethics, don't do drugs and I for one am very proud of them.(and secretly amazed, what on earth did I do right? lol)

Miroslav

I was 6 weeks shy of 14 when my little girl was born, and my g/f was 14 herself.

My daughter is no longer alive, so I can't talk long term, but as long as you are loving parents, I don't think there is a right time.

If a child is loved, that is what that matters. Sure finances etc are important, to a point, but many children are born to financially secure people, who don't show enough love and affection.