Right Age Of Having A Baby?!

pickle

I'm 39 and STILL expecting any day now (41 weeks...). I feel the time is right for me (and my husband). I wasn't willing to have a child until we were both ready. Any earlier would have been quite difficult but it depends on your own circumstances. I started trying at 35 (had a miscarriage and then difficulty conceiving) but I am only now actually about to have a baby. Things don't always work out as planned.

tru

I had my son at 19, daughter at 20. I'm 35 and can't even begin to imagine having a baby now lol.

I always feel like I don't deserve them. And this is really weird, but I've never felt 'ready' for kids

inkie

I had DD1 at 24 and DD2 at 27. They are going to be 10 & 7 next month. This was thr right time for us - we had been married 4 years. Best thing I did ever - becoming a mum.

rchddap1

Don't think there is a 'right time'. Depends on the people involved. I'm pregnant at the moment, and whilst I'm scared, it is about the right time for me.

nickinoo

I had my daughter at 30, personally it was a good age emotionally for me but finacially it wasn't so good as my hubby didn'y have a proper job. My daughter wasn't planned but she was the best surprise ever.

3 years down the line it's all good, he has a decent job & we are about to move to a nicer area. I sometimes feel like a grown up but not too often!

funky-footprints

My mil had number one at 17 and number 2 at 19, Dh's dad at only 19 worked and studied very hard, and dh and his brother had an excellent child hood with fantastic holidays, and both had a private education. There mum didnt work. To an outsider they were a perfect family who proved the critics wrong.

MIL walked out when dh left school, she says she had been unhappy for years, she wanted her boys to grow up happy, loved and safe, and once she felt they were old enough to look after themselves she wanted her time ! dh and his brother have both turned out well adjusted, successful boys and i think she should be proud of them. They both however knew that thier parents marriage was a sham and dh says he knew that from about aged 7, yet never actually thought his mum would go.

At 45 MIL remarried and had number 3, she says this child will have everything that the boys missed out on ? ? and is extremely overly protective, she says she is older, more patient and wiser this time round, but as a mum myself i think she is talking twaddle. Her daughter as an only child amongst other things is insecure, shy and immature. She is terrible at mixing and misses out on many things that i know my kids have. She doesnt know what the word NO or SHARE mean and apart from school she isnt out of her mothers sight. dh's mum has had to go back to work in order to afford the private school fees, at 54 she is exhausted, she has high cholesterol and is on blood pressure tablets, she pops every sort of pill from the health food shop to give her energy, better skin etc .......... her number 3 at 45 was definately the worst thing she could ever have done !!!!

I do feel sorry for girls of 17 or 18 that get pregnant, maybe because i know at 17 there was no way i was ready to commit to any sort of relationship. but i think with support and love anyone can make a good mum, being older and wiser doesnt make you any better.

Spendless

I know of 3 mums at DS school who had their eldest at 17/18. The women are now mid 20s. All 3 live with or are married to the father of the children and have had other children together. All 3 have bought their own homes and all 3 work, 1 in a very specialised job.

The only thing I would say about putting a restriction of 35 as a dead-line is sometimes life doesn't work out that way. Not meeting partner,relationship break-ups,financial problems, ill-health,problems conceiving, losing baby in pregnancy can all delay either when you start or when you finish your family.

Go for it when you feel the time is right. Good luck

emilyt

I had my first daughter at 18 and my second daughter at 21. Both daughters have the same father and yes we are still married . It is so good now because i am jst 38 and my eldest daughter is nearly 20. The youngest will be 17 soon. We get on really well and it is like having 2 sisters and people often think we are ( great ego boost). It just depends really on whether you want your career first and then have your children. Unfortunately i only ended up in what i call dead end jobs. I used to work as a care, childminder, cleaner. All the low paid jobs. Trying to encourage my daughters to get a career first.My friend is due to have her child within the next couple of weeks. She has no financial problems but then i couldn't cope with a baby now.Not 24/7 anyway. As long as the woman feels fit and healthy and has plenty of energy then any age up to mid forties i would say was ok.

siamesecats

i had my 1st at 18
second at 19
third at 21
fouth at 22
and fifth at 31:eek:

bobsa1

I was 25 with my first, 28 with second and 35 with 3rd. I get more tired now and need my sleep more.

I am calmer and less worried with no3 and we are in a better financial position.

No1 was planned but having a child was a shock and for a while it was a struggle as I was studying and working and had a baby. However maybe the shock factor was also down to being a first time mum and not knowing what to expect.

Given my time again I would probably have 1st at 28, second at 31 and 3rd at 34, a closer age gap would have been nice (but not to be) and I don't think I am too old at 37 to have a two year old. In fact at toddler things I'm an average age for a 1st time mum in this area!