Sashybo's Random Waffles

sashybo

Hi sazzle, thanks for the reply. Yes I think I took on too much and didn't know how to ask for help. The school really were awful and just made me feel like a nuisance, so I stopped asking questions - then one of the criticisms was that I didn't ask questions!

I will go to the meeting at work but really don't know what they expect from me.

Went to Pizza Express today using our Tesco Clubcard vouchers. OH started telling me what to do about work i.e. how I should be chasing up my reference etc and I ended up crying over my pizza. I know he thinks he's trying to help but it seems to come over as a lecture and I just don't feel I can talk about work without getting a row from him.

So we were both a bit depressed after that and I pretty much ruined our lunch out. Came home and had a nap on the couch. OH made me some tea and gave me chocolate and cuddles.

So still feeling down and just wish I could get out of this situation.

sazzle81

It's a vicious circle Sashybo. Your feeling this way because of work but you can't leave the job without something to move onto which makes you feel even worse.

My OH and mam are great ones for giving the advice that is more like the lectures right down to "just say to them..."
When I was in a way last year I had both of them telling me what to say to people and what to demand. But I just didn't feel like it would have acheived anything, yet another symptom of it all.

If I don't check in before (mega busy week at work) hope Tuesday goes ok.
To throw a few cliches in, everythig happens for a reason...it could be the first day of the rest of your life... etc etc!!
Sx

sashybo

Hi sazzle, liking the cliches. :rotfl:You're right, it's a vicious cycle just now and just need to get out of it - that's the problem.

Doubt we will be up to much today, just trying to relax and not think about work until I have to. Think OH is feeling bad that he made me cry so is being extra sooky with me now.:p

Might do some reading and rating on Dooyoo and Ciao if I can face it.

Have moved money from the joint account to one of OH's savings accounts for the factor fee and car savings. Only £20 for each but better than nothing and the car tax and MOT is due at the end of May. :eek: Pretty sure my click/survey money in my Paypal account will be going towards the excess for a new windscreen for the car.

Waiting on some click money going into my other bank account and that will be paid off my cc.

All blocked up with the cold after getting soaked picking the boys up on Thursday. Sinus pain is bad and was stopping me getting to sleep last night. Yuck.

sashybo

Well, have been busy this morning so far and have cleaned the bathroom, stripped the sheets off the bed and put a wash on and cleaned the cat litter tray. Made some Twinks hobnobs last night, not made them in ages and forgot how yummy they are. OH was very happy.

Also posted new reviews on Ciao and Dooyoo, so have been reading and rating there. Need to go and do food shop today which I'm not looking forward to, might take the recycling with me and that's something else done.

Got my meeting with work tomorrow and not looking forward to it. Hoping they won't be too probing but not sure what they are going to be asking. Got the Dr's on Wednesday morning and will probably be given a date to go back then.

Feeling very up and down at the moment, I want to be working, just not in the job I'm in now. Still waiting for reference for the admin bank.

sashybo

Went and did the shopping, spent £24 in Aldi's (£5.99 on a cat radiator bed) and £30 in Asda. Got a lot of veg in Aldi and should have enough food for dinners for the rest of the week now. Making cheese and onion pasties for tea tonight, nice and easy and tasty. Also did the recycling when I went shopping so that's out of the way as well.

Spoke to my manager at work and they are pushing for me to go back, really not looking forward to the meeting tomorrow.

Cats are not touching the radiator bed but it smells really plasticky/chemically from the packaging so maybe that's why. At least it wasn't expensive!

Feeling a bit better for getting out and doing things, today was the most I've driven in a long time. Have been feeling very anxious about driving recently and today helped me feel a bit better about it. I know I can drive but I panic and need to know exactly where I'm going and what lane I need to be in etc. Also don't like to have passengers in case I make a mistake.

sashybo

OH's cheque has cleared and we have paid off the Capital One card. :j :j So pleased as it had a high interest rate, now can concentrate on getting rid of the Barclaycard. After that has gone we just have the DMP debts, Northern Rock and car finance ends in November or December.

Feeling sick about this meeting as don't really know what to tell them. I'm sure it will just be an interrogation followed by thinly veiled threats about my contract being ended if I don't go back soon.

I really don't want to go back but have a bad feeling that I will have to. Admin bank still waiting on a reference from my present employer, what a joke. Don't think I can ask about the reference while I'm still off sick, that might be a bit cheeky.

Will just have to see what happens and get job hunting I guess.

sashybo

Meeting was as expected - interrogation followed by if the absence gets to 28 days they will dismiss me. So no pressure from work then. :mad:

OH saw a job online for me that looks quite good so thinking about applying for it. Will probably have to go back to work in the meantime though. Will see what the Doctor says tomorrow. Just wish I had something else to go to straight away.

Went round to see my mum after the meeting so that cheered me up a bit. Still feeling really tired and don't feel I'm sleeping well.

Thinking about making pasta with leek, mushrooms and pancetta for dinner.

sashybo

The doctor has signed me off for another two weeks and to go back to work after that. My work said that will take me over the 28 days absence leading to dismissal - so will have to decide what to do. Will probably have to go back next week I imagine but apparently my manager's manager is going to phone me back later so will have to wait and see.

Feeling quite down today. When the Dr asked me how I felt about going back to work I started crying. Really don't want to go back and now they are threatening me with dismissal it's just stressing me even more.

No plans for today, got a washing on but that's probably the extent of the housework that needs doing. If only I could afford to resign while I waited for the admin bank position. :mad:

SarahNeedle1872

Sorry your meeting was stressful Sashy.... If you're off work with an illness brought on by work, how can they dismiss you, even if you have gone over the 28 days? Surely there is some kind of 'duty of care' to make changes to your working conditions to enable you to come back to work? Doesn't seem very fair to me.... esp as you are still waiting for a reference for a new job :mad::mad:

Sorry I haven't got any suggestions though

(hugs)

Sx

sashybo

Thanks Sarah. I think it's because I'm on a fixed term contract and that's where the 28 days come from.

They are really pushing for me to consent to an occupational health referral but I'm not sure about it. I can't really see any way around this - will have to go back sooner than I and the Dr would like otherwise I'll have no job to go back to.