Sashybo's Random Waffles

sazzle81

Hi Sashybo - hope you are feeling better today, and it's the weekend so no work!!
I'm thinking of retraining in midwifery. However, I trained as a teacher when there was shortage of teachers only to find that where I live there isn't a shortage so jobs are incredibly rare! I'm worried that I would spend 3 years training to find that the shortage was over and there were no jobs going!!
I do fancy going back and doing something at some point. Wish I'd followed my gut when I was 21 and started a medicine degree after my first degree. It was the thought of spending more time at uni that put me off. If only I had I would be finished by now.
Hey ho. Perhaps when the debts gone I can be a little clearer about what I want to do and find something to study!

sashybo

Hi Sazzle, yes feeling a bit better and trying not to think about work. Hope you decide what you want to do, I'm still hoping for a lottery win!

Just had a relaxed day today although had to go food shopping and spent £50. :eek: But did buy quite a lot and should have all dinners sorted for next week.

Went to see my sister and the kids last night which was hectic as usual. The twins are 18 months and a pair of giggling loonies. They are fascinated by my OH because he's so tall and took turns sitting on his knee. :rotfl:

My younger nephew is 3 and was just being his usual mad self. He insisted I read him 4 stories and watch Scooby Doo with him. Oldest nephew was staying at his dad's so will have to go back soon to see him as well. Cheered me up a bit seeing them, really need to make the time and effort to see them more.

sashybo

Doubt we will be up to much today, really should get some housework done I suppose. Just chilling out on the couch with OH and the cats, OH is playing the PS3 while I'm on the laptop.

Watched Terminator 4 last night and thought it was really rubbish compared to the other films. Really wasn't impressed with Christian Bale's acting either. :eek:

OH made me baked makerel for dinner with mashed potato which was lovely. The cats were mooching about trying to get some though. :cool:

Got my £3 through from Lightspeed and requested another £2 from clicks. Need to get OH to call the joiner to get a quote for the hall flooring, want to get it done asap since we have the money ready.

sashybo

Off work today, feeling ill. Felt bad as soon as I went to bed, mostly at the thought of getting up in the morning and going back to work. Just the thought of work makes me feel ill and I was crying about it again. OH told me to stop winding myself up but just feeling really down about it.

Just want to run away. Can't even just leave because we need the money. I feel bad that I'm stressing OH out as he is being TUPE'd in April (for the 2nd time in 2 years) and has been told his job role will be changing this time. He's really not happy about it and talking about looking for a new job now.

Have got a headache now as didn't sleep well, so might have a lie down in a bit.

On a lighter note, OH called and told me he has exchanged £10 of tesco clubcard vouchers for Pizza Express vouchers so that is something to look forward to. He is worried about me but more worried that I will just chuck the job I think and is trying to cheer me up.

Still not heard from the admin bank and am starting to panic a bit. I need to know that I will be leaving this job soon or I will crack up.

Just re-read my post - Doom and Gloom or what!

sashybo

Well, pretty much convinced I will need to go back on anti-depressants now. Phoned the Dr's for an emergency appt and the first one they can give me is tomorrow morning. Felt like crying just having to explain my symptoms to the nurse and just have a sick feeling in my stomach and a tight feeling in my chest all the time.

Worried about how work will take it if I'm signed off since I'm on a fixed term contract. I will already be facing a disciplinary due to absence. They will probably try to get rid of me and that's really the last thing I need. But I can't face going to work feeling like this either.

Also worried that my OH will be angry with me, he really doesn't like the word depression and worried he will think I'm faking to get out of going to work. That makes him sound awful but he was so nice to me last night and I feel terrible as I'm causing him more worry.

Sold a book on Green Metropolis this morning so will need to get that packed and sent soon. Not much more to add, think my mum is coming round later to see me and need to do some housework.

sazzle81

Hi Sashybo,
sending you really big hugs! Sounds like you are not having a good time of it at the moment. You have done exactly the right thing in getting a drs appointment and don't feel any regrets about needing antidepressants.

I don't know much about emploment law but I'm not sure if they can get rid of you if you are signed off, could you ring citizens advice or someone similar??

I know exactly where you are coming from with worrying about what OH will think. Mine is exactly the same. I remember this time last year I was very depressed and would wake up in the small hours of the morning and lock myself in the bathroom so he wouldn't hear me crying.
Depression is bad enough without the worry that people think you are faking it to get out of going to work. Just bare in mind something a good friend (who works in HR and is usually the one doing the dismissals and disciplinaries)
DRS DON'T SIGN PEOPLE OFF FOR NO REASON.
If they do sign you off then you've got a pretty good reason for being off.

I read a really good book last year about living with depression and it talked about getting out for a 2o minute walk as often as you can. Coud you do that when you go to the post office?

Fingers crossed for the bank admin job and that you hear soon.
Sx

sashybo

Thanks for your reply sazzle, nice to hear from you. Think I will check out the acas website and have a look at CAB as well. I'm pretty sure one of my cousins specialises in employment law as well so could also ask him if I need help with anything.

I'm glad you understand what I mean about OH, he's not a bad person but he just gets funny about depression. He was diagnosed himself about 2 years ago and was off the anti-depressants as quickly as he could. He was really not interested in taking them at all. I think he is worried but he expresses it by being angry with me - why can't I just get on with it etc. The problem is I have been getting on with it for months now and it's not going away.

I might try and go to the post office later but another thing that worries me is that I live very close to my work. I worry about going out incase they see me and think I'm faking being ill.

sashybo

Ok, the Dr has signed me off for two weeks but says she doesn't want to put me on anti-depressants straight away as it's my job that is causing most of the problems. I've to go back and see her in two weeks to get a date for going back to work. Hopefully the time off will do me some good. Not looking forward to telling my work though, they will probably want me to go in and see them.

Sent the book I sold off today, used the online postage thing which was quite handy as it just prints off the postage for you, you stick it on and just shove your parcel in a post box.

Feeling quite tired and not been sleeping well. Was freezing this morning, the cold gave me a banging headache on the way to and from the Doctor's.

Seeing my mum yesterday was nice and cheered me up a bit. OH seems to be calmer with me and wasn't upset about me going to see the doctor, which I was surprised about. He told me he wished I would speak to him if I feel bad which was really nice but I don't like to worry him.

I've been promised some pancakes later as we didn't make any yesterday. OH makes very good pancakes.

sazzle81

Hi Sashybo
I'm pleased that you got signed off for two weeks. Hopefully it'll be time to get your strength back up and get your sleeping pattern sorted. A time to regroup if you like.

Your OH sounds very similar to mine - I know you were saying you don't like to worry him but perhaps not talking is worrying him more? My OH is dreadful for taking any sort of tablets - he's very suspicious of them and also drs. Think it's a boy thing!

Hope you got pancakes!

sashybo

Hey sazzle. :hello: Yes, I'm glad I have some time to relax and think about things without the worry of coping with work.

I think you might be right about my OH, he is a terrible worrier but doesn't show it and I only find out when he explodes over a little thing. He hates going to the doctor as well, always have to nag him to make an appt - you're right, it must be a boy thing.

Yes had pancakes which were yum. But I had to make the batter and get everything ready before shouting him into the kitchen to do the actual pancake making. Shocking. :eek: He says sous-chef, I say slave. :rotfl: Guess who also gets to do the washing up?!

Hope you're enjoying your time off.