Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

moo2moo

Ah. I'm guilty of too much frivalous pending on E-bay too. This weeks purchases have included two dog harnesses, one of which won't fit for at least 9 months but was new and a fiver instead of £16 and I did have credit in my Paypal account (see how well I justify these things). Other purchases included a pair of jeans which are a perfect fit but aren't VGC but rather knackered so have agreed to a partial refund as they'll do for work (just) and I have another 20 or so items on my watched list ending in the next few days, none of which I really need but its nice to get parcels through the post instead of bills. Clearly I have gift vouchers which could be used in store to purchase clothes of which I really don't need any apart from a vaguely smart pair of jeans but I know if I enter the shop I'll fall in love with a dozen other things and forget the jeans buying things I'll never wear in public because whilst gorgeous on I never go anywhere that warrants wearing them and I don't have the shoes, top, jacket etc. etc. to go with them anyway. Oh woe is me. I am a bag laydeeee.

No sign of the occupant of the hedge movving nor of chicks hatching and no way I can confine her either as shes sandwiched between disintegrating fence panels, cattle proof fencing and chicken wire in the middle of a v. spikey plant

Ugh and puppy has just eaten a slug. Expecting vomit at moment.

Double_Trouble

Ok just to warn you I am now lurking on your thread!

Eager_Elephant

Ooh haven't updated for ages, had a really busy week.

You may have seen on PAD that relative who lives with us had a TIA (very minor stroke) on Monday night. He was in hospital until Friday night so DH and I have been busy working and visiting the hospital so not much time to do anything else.

Relative is home but is very confused and forgets things I tell him 10 minutes beforehand - not sure if this is from the TIA or whether he might have the start of dementia.
He has been a bit iffy with his memory for a while but as we only visited him once a week you don't notice it but now we see him every day it is really noticeable.

I am so angry with his children but will post later about that. Let's just say they are money grabbing !!!!!!!

On the money front I have been making my PAD's nearly every day but I am not due my statement to show these until beginning of June so my debt has probably not decreased by much.

DH has not sold his car and today he realised that the temporary insurance has run out so he will have to ring them in the morning to extend it - not sure when he will learn. His credit card statement has come in and the payment is quite a lot so not sure how he will afford it! Anyhoo not my worry.

Have been keeping up with my scratchcard and doing some surveys but not many - should get back into the swing of it this coming week.

Think that's about it!!

EE

Eager_Elephant

So my rant ....

Relative who lives with us is not strictly speaking a true relative more a long term family friend.

He has 2 sons of his own who are a complete nightmare. They are both in their forties but don't really work - well they work cash in hand and claim benefits!! :mad:

All their lives they have relied on the bank of dad, one son received a police caution for blackmail/intimidation/money extortion as his dad did not want to press charges. In 2 years he took from his dad through threats £11,000!! :mad:

Oldest son got his dad to take out a loan secured on his house many years ago, son did not make payments so dad had to sell house before it was repossessed!!

And still the bank of dad gave money to both (don't think it was always willingly).

It has been known within the family that when relative died he had left his house to his 2 sons.

Well relative has come to live with us and has sold his house, his son's are buzzing round like flies as they are waiting for their money. Sale has taken 3 mnths so far.

House sale money is due on Tuesday and since relative has had stroke they have been to the hospital every day playing the doting sons etc. Probably worrying that if he was in hospital on Tuesday they wouldn't get their money.

Relative discharged Friday night, he got one call on Saturday from one son and nothing from the other. Not one of them has rung today to check on him but you can bet they will ring tomorrow to confirm they will be over on Tuesday to take relative to bank so they can have their money. GRRRR :mad:

I am not even sure that relative is fit to go to town to the bank, he is running to the loo every 10 - 15 minutes (fluid intake upped) and also he is still recovering from TIA and pneumonia so is very wobbly still and can't walk far. The toilet is approx 15 steps from his room and when he has walked back he has to rest!
But the car park in relation to the bank is 500+ steps so how will he manage? I am having visions of him collapsing in town or sorting everything and then coming home where he will be alone (DH and I are at work on Tues) and us coming home to fnd him fainted or something.

DH and I do not really talk to his son's so I can;t ring with my concerns although relative has said tonight that if he is not well on Tuesday he will tell them he can't go.

I have suggested he write a cheque but his handwriting is awful since the TIA and his signature has changed so not sure if bank will accept it hence why he wanted to do it in branch and get counter cheques.

Relative also has to go to estate agents as he has stood as guarantor for son's flat, he has not paid rent (as spent HB on alcohol) so relative liable as son now evicted. He needs to get this paid asap.

I'm sure all this stress is not helping and may have contributed to the stroke?
On top of this both son's have been reported to DWP for benefit fraud and DH and I are getting the blame - even though the details DWP knew could not have come from us as we know nothing about the amount of money they are getting. More likely they have been mouthing off to 'friends' and they have reported them. One son in particular has been giving relative a hard time over it.

Anyway hopefully after Tuesday everything will be sorted and they won't even contact him again.

I think I'm !!!!ed off because relative can only do the basics such as toilet and washing but needs help with the rest (making tea, ironing, washing clothes etc) and this has fallen to DH and I.
We both work whereas the two son's don't and we have to do all this as well and we have 2 children to sort out.
When relative came to live with us he was quite well and could do everything himself except housework and now we are basically caring for him. I didn't realise it would be this tough - hopefully he will recover from the TIA and pnuemonia and get back to normal.

Then I'm worried that if he gets too ill he will have to go into a home and his son's will have to pay the money back but they will have spent it by then so he will have to live in a cheap nursing home.

God I am stressed.

EE

taxi73

No wonder your stressed and his sons sound awful.Does he want to give his sons money?If he doesn't then maybe the police should be called or will that cause too much hassle?

scoobylicious

What a nightmare for you EE almost a pity he has any money for his vile sons to fight over :mad:

moo2moo

If you lock the door when you go to work and leave the radio on will he even know that the sons are outside let alone be able to answer the door?

Eager_Elephant

taxi73 wrote: »

No wonder your stressed and his sons sound awful.Does he want to give his sons money?If he doesn't then maybe the police should be called or will that cause too much hassle?

Hi Taxi

I think the logic behind the selling of the house and giving them the money is so that they stop hassling him and he can live with us peacefully without demenads from them all the time.

The problem is relative does not really make his feelings clear, he would rather keep the peace so if that involves money so be it.

When we rented this house and moved in, he followed 1 mnth later and when we were visiting him during that month he kept saying that the day couldn't come soon enough to get away from all the hassle etc that his son's were giving him.

I actually feel really sorry for him, he must know his son's only want his money even though they have had thousands over the years!

Getting the police involved would not even cross his mind and again he would not want the hassle.

Since he has been with us they have rung a few times making demands of money but because we live out in the countryside they can't afford the petrol to get over to hassle him in person whereas before thay all lived in the same town so they did it in person.

EE

Eager_Elephant

moo2moo wrote: »

If you lock the door when you go to work and leave the radio on will he even know that the sons are outside let alone be able to answer the door?

Hi Moo

I mentioned to relative last night that I was worried about him leaving the house for both walking and toilet needs, he had brushed me aside but this morning he told my husband that he did not feel up to going out with his son's to sort the money so would try to do it over the telephone.

I came back from my opticians appt to find that he has rung the bank and they are happy to accept written confirmation of transfers needed so his son's are coming over in the morning to collect the letter he will do and to take it to the bank.

One son has taken this news very well and understands his father is still poorly but the other has been moaning constantly as though we have done this on purpose.

I'm not even sure whether the bank will accept his letter as his writing has changed considerably and it looks nothing like his usual signature.

EE

Eager_Elephant

scoobylicious wrote: »

What a nightmare for you EE almost a pity he has any money for his vile sons to fight over :mad:

Hi scooby

I know I am almost gutted that he managed to own his own house because he will have nothing to show for it.

As I already said they have had thousands over the years from him and I don't think they will be happy until he is penniless.

Of the money he gets from the house sale, his son's are getting some each and he will be keeping some for himself.
One son made a comment to my husband that he didn't know what relative was doing with the rest or who he was giving it to - implying that we were also receiving a lump sum. Obviously my husband made it clear that we are not receiving anything and that soon shut him up.

It sounds cruel but DH and I are taking bets on who will spend their money first :rotfl:
Oldest son is an alcoholic and has an alcoholic boyfriend. No being investigated by DWP for fraud as he is a member of a band with regular gigs and has been claiming JSA. Only worked a few days in his life and runs up debt at properties and then leaves. When investigation is finished they have said he is looking at paying back £20, 000+ so that will be the house money gone.

Other son is a criminal, loads of past and used to be a heavy drug user although says he is fine now. Partner is also a drug user plus they have 3 kids. They all love designer gear, eating out etc and want to move somewhere or set up a business. Again he has done a bit of cash in hand work but mainly claims IS because he has hurt his hand. Not worked for years! Also being investigated by DWP for falsely claiming he is too ill to work and also over the money (which he has not yet received). He is also looking at having to pay back £20,000+.

I am just so annoyed they are having everything handed to them on a plate but maybe these DWP investigations will be their comeuppance.

EE

I appreciate I sound bitter and twisted but all I can see is pound signs in their eyes and the fact they don't give a monkeys about their dad.