Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

pennywisepoundstupid

Hi EE, sending you hugs, oi agree that you are just trying to control the situation you are in, hope OH gets the extra hours.

take care.

Eager_Elephant

DH took his paperwork in to the new job yesterday and handed in his medical questionnaire :eek:

New manager emailed to say that he had ticked that he needed aids/adaptations and what did he need - he rung her and asked for a screen cover to make it darker and she was fine with it.
She also mentioned that no one had applied for the job (which she knew which is why she offered it to him but then was told to advertise internally) so providing no one applies by tomorrow then they will offer him the job so fingers crossed that tomorrow he gets the call :T

Should hopefully start in 2.5 weeks when CRB back so likely to be a 1 week gap between employment so no big loss.

I have written the letters for DH to send to some of his creditors and when I did the FS to send I realised that he has been paying £480 per month to his debts :eek: - his non-negotiable household bills were £475pm plus his acupuncture - £40 per week and it's no wonder he had no money and I had to sub him.

All debt direct debits cancelled and once the other DD's have left on 1st then will move rest of wages to a spare account of mine until DH has managed to open an account.

So taking all that into account means that DH will be able to fund himself in future and he knows this is it and he can have money on his pre-paid card and when it's gone it's gone - he says he realises how serious this is.

Piquant_2

Without counting chickens, if nobody has applied up until now the hours for OH are looking promising. You've only got to wait until tomorrow, not long at all.

It sounds like he's realising how much debt he has and if he's accepting a pre-paid card, that is very promising too.

I do hope things are on the up for you now EE, you deserve a huge run of good fortune!

Piq

Eager_Elephant

DH got the call on Friday at 4pm :eek: to say he had the extra hours :T

Not sure why she waited but of course DH started worrying but I did point out that if on Tues no one had applied it was unlikely they would and the manager was probably busy - after that he was fine.

DH has also managed to open a new bank account with Lloyds (he has a debt to Halifax but I am hoping it will be ok) as they were fine about the ID etc whereas Natwest said they would not accept his bank statement as proof as it ran from mid month to mid month and they wanted full months :mad:, well I'm sorry I can't force Barclays to do that.

So hopefully this week he will receive all his info and online stuff as need to move money from old bank account on Tuesday once all DD's have come out.

DH is also thinking about what he can do on his 2 spare days a week - possibly making rabbit/ferret/chicken cages as he is very good at this and has made most of ours plus we have a source of cheap wood. This would be good as would bring in some extra money and would keep him busy.

Everything else going well, money is ok and have managed not to spend hardly anything on personal spends.

Also got a letter out of the blue from CSA - they have reviewed my ex again and he has to pay £35 per week :T, not sure who asked for the review as if I don't they leave it so maybe ex did (out of the kindness of his heart ). Checked the figures and he is earning £40pw extra - so I expect that he will cut back and then ask for a review so I lose that money again :mad:
Hopefully will get some money as DS desperately needs some new clothes - if I don't get any money then I will just pay from my account but it would be about time his father paid as I have had no money since July as he has soo many other children :eek:

Eager_Elephant

DH :eek:

I guess he is still learning. Checked his facebook and he had been in contact with a man about a dog :mad: and also someone to enquire about some bricks :eek:

I confronted him and he said he was just interested in the price of the dog - I told him the price did not matter as we would not be able to have one for over 5 years and he price would be different then :mad:

The bricks are because we have a converted cat run which are baby chickens/turkeys live in and the wood on the ground has rotted so he thinks he needs to build a brick base :mad:

I asked him why he thought this and had not discussed it.

Seems he has too much time on his hands and keeps thinking up things to do which of course cost money:eek:

Yesterday morning I moved the last of his wages to my spare account and told him he had no money as what was left is needed for acupuncture and also in case he does not get paid next month...... and then not more than 20 minutes later he asks where is debit card is, I told him that I have it. He needs it to get bricks :eek: . I told him he had no money but he did not believe me - I should have let him take the card and when he got to the cash machine he wouldn't have been able to draw out any money :rotfl:

So I gave him my bank card and he drew out the money :eek:. Admittedly he got a good deal but that £20 had better uses and who cares about the cat run, it's been up for years and never fallen down.

I really am beginning to lose my patience with him.

He is moping around and I gave him a list on Monday so he didn't mope and he only did 3 things (one of which was lunch :eek: and the other was something he wrote) due to some news he received about a family member.

I did not say anything but yesterday he did nothing again from the list :eek: and he is in a foul mood.

The news he got is quite shocking - DH was abused by his half brother when he was about 5, at the time the brother was banned from their house but nothing else happened. When I met DH he was friends with his brother and they used to take drugs together :mad:, a few months into our relationship he admitted that he had been abused by him so we cut all contact and DH went to the police and gave a statement. They interviewed him and then said there was not enough evidence.
DH has had numerous counselling sessions over the years and I thought he had dealt with it as well as he could.
He has just got in contact with his brothers ex-partner who had two kids together and she has told him that his brother abused their son when he was little and also tried to assault his daughter a few years ago. Both are now in their 20's.
They also went to the police and nothing happened but she also admitted that the brother was a paid police informant (a few times she went with him to the police station), we had suspected this because when his gang stole a yacht everyone went to prison except him.

Surely though a person cannot be a !!!!!phile and get away with it just because he is an informant.

So DH is struggling to cope and wishes he had not told her what happened to him and I am not sure what to say.

pennywisepoundstupid

Well done on moving his money so he has enough for accupuncture.

As for the stuff with his brother:eek:, really have no decent lady like words that i could type.

Sending you hugs, you are coping incredible well.

Piquant_2

I don't really know what to say, but want you to know I am here.

That is shocking that something so serious is not followed up by the police. What faith will those children have in them in the future.

You are doing well in at a very difficult time, OH will have less time to spend money when he's working again. Although sometimes you must feel like you are pushing water up hill. Don't give up, you are in control, it will get better.

Piq

Eager_Elephant

Thanks Ladies - I only have 1 other person to talk to as no one else knows. Luckily I am seeing my friend for lunch today.

The worst thing is he has 2 children with another woman and she has a son of her own and they all live together. They range in age from 7 - 15 and it was partly because of them we went to the police in case he tried it again!!

Not sure what to do about it, I think we are meeting up with the ex partner and hopefully her children (my DH's niece and nephew) so maybe more might come to light.

Normally once they start abusing children they don't stop so I am quite worried about the children especially as the step son is quite withdrawn/shy and the others are really naughty and little !!!!!!s and they would be too scared to say anything.

pennywisepoundstupid

Have you tried contacting social services and letting them know about you concerns.

beanielou

Not got a clue what to say TBH.