Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

Seaxwyn

Oh sorry to hear about this EE. It sounds a very complicated situation. Whatever the rights or wrongs of what he is doing he is not behaving like an adult, which makes it very difficult for you. I can't give any advice except try not to let it get you down. It's not about you, it's him acting out his infantile needs. Try to rise above it.

pippo

Oh e-e..
what a lot of emotional blackmail you are putting up with!

Good for you for not 'begging'

You say you want to get away from it, so need to work on how to do that, if you woke up tomorrow and a miricale had happened...is that what it would be?.. no DH?

You are an able lady.. & kids are resilient... so if he quits his job... well that's up to him.
& relative ..well he'll survive as well.. the reality may not be pleasant... but the future may be more rosy if you take a stand now.

Sending kind thoughts
Pip
x


PS
Call your local 'social care direct' if you think he is serious about life ending threats.

taxi73

Have to agree with Pippo here...am so sorry that you are going through all this but remember you do not have to stay..there is always a way to get out xxx take care xx

Eager_Elephant

Thanks guys for your support - just need someone to sound off to. My best mate is getting married next year - I dont want to put her off married life!!

The problem I have is that there is no proof only my suspicions which is why I am only 90% sure. I guess I'm worried what people would think if I had it wrong.

It could be worse I suppose, I slept on the sofa last night which seems to have shaken him up a bit. When I got in from work he asked if I had been to the solicitors.

He did not go to work today claiming he is still ill from Monday which he is a little bit I suppose and his antibiotics don't appear to be working.

He also had the cheek to tell me that I am making him ill, I told him that he was making me ill but I didn't shout about it - that soon shut him up.

He says he wants to talk tonight so we will see what happens. He asked me earlier what was going on so I explained how I felt, and he said that I kept bringing it up so I reminded him that he had asked me the question and if he didn't want to know the answer he shouldn't have asked me.

EE

Seaxwyn

Hi EE, did you have the talk? I hope you can manage to talk about it and let him know your feelings. Whether he is having an affair or text flirtation or whatever, it is not a reflection on you.

Eager_Elephant

Well we didn't have the chat the other night but we kind of talked yesterday but we are stuck in limbo.

I think he had a dodgy text, he says he didn't and as he has now deleted the text no one can prove anything.

I slept on the sofa again last night, DH said that if I slept on the sofa last night then I wasn't welcome in 'his' bed ever again. I told him it was fine.

Not sure where we go from here??

EE

moo2moo

Can you shuffle the children around so that you can sleep on a bed? A sofa isn't any good long term. Beyond that I haven't a clue. I keep finding myself in the same position. I'm not the one being a twonk but I seem to be the one being shoehorned out because of it. There are days when I want to take the DDs and run but then my stubborn side kicks in and I figure he ends up with everything whilst the only thing I have left is my dignity. Still at least I have that.

Eager_Elephant

Well things are continuing on as normal except there is no physical contact and I am sleeping on the sofa!

Have checked up on the girl who keeps 'poking' DH on Facebook - omg she is really pretty.

Why when he chats/texts/flirts with these women does he pick them with fake tans and dark hair when I have a natural tan and have blonde/brown hair??

This morning he had typed a resignation letter for work, I told him not to be so stupid and ripped it up. I said nothing further to him and he has gone to work. If he quits it is his problem not mine.

Eager_Elephant

My life goes on and I need to sort my procrastination (sp?) out :rotfl:

I nearly missed the deadline for my parking ticket appeal, it has been sat in my box of things to deal with for 1 month and still I didn't sort it until the last minute.

In future I am going to deal with everything as it arrives as I am fed up of panicing at the last minute - hmmm this reminds me of Seaxwyn who also likes to procrastinate :rotfl:

My car insurance is up for renewal next week and the quote I have been given is higher than last year and I have not claimed. Have done a few quotes online and there are some which are much cheaper so I am now on the phone to my insurance company to see if they will drop the price.

If they don't I will cancel the renewal and get a new policy on Friday when I get paid as they all want a deposit up front.

I have hardly any money in my bank account and I haven't even sorted the passport yet. Will have to go back and check my figures because I should have had enough money.

Also I need to sort out all the renewals for the club I deal with, I have about 300 to do, shame the kids are off as I really need to do it this week.

I also need to get on top of the housework as it has been somewhat neglected over the last few weeks :rotfl:

I am also behind with reading the newspapers each day, I have about a weeks to catch up with. I have a quick skim in the morning but don't have a chance to fully read it - well I would but I come on here in the evenings - maybe I will resist until I have read the paper.

EE

Eager_Elephant

Balances as per statements:

Barclaycard - £7672.14
Amazon - £2282.93
Abbey - £760.31
Paypal - £375.97

Total - £11091.35

Reduction - £55.80

I can't really complain as I only made a few extra payments, I have some extra money but I need that to sort out the kids for school such as shoes and stationary etc.

If I keep at this rate it will take 16 years to pay back :rotfl:

After this weekend I will be able to see where I am because I will have brought the school stuff by then.

EE