Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

Seaxwyn

The elderly relative sounds a pain in the neck - good luck keeping your cool at the theme park!

moo2moo

Relative does sound incredibly irritating. You're a braver woman than me. I'd have exploded by now. Its one thing putting up with OH but quite another putting up with his family.

Can loan you a hybrid Newfoundland if you like. Shes 5 months old and already just over half my body weight. Even on the super duper calorie crammed puppy food for greedy oiks shes troughing over a kilogram of biscuits a day and trawling round everyone elses bowls in the hopes of getting leftovers.

Kinda like the idea of a dirty weekend away with the OH apart from the dirty part. WOuld be nice to get away from it all and have some other sucker pick up his wet towels from the bed or the floor or wherever they've been dumped. Where do you fancy going? Incidentally its atad over a year since my 10th anniversary. OH got a v. posh watch.... me... I'm still waiting (v. patiently I might add) for a greenhouse. Apparently its not very romantic or special or a lasting memory... but it is what I want and every time I escape into it I'll think fondly of him in the house dealing with the fall out that is two teenage girls screeching away over nothing.

Eager_Elephant

Well day out at theme park went really well, relative came on some of the rides which narly gave me a heart attack with worrying about him. On the drive home we stopped off at a pub for tea and did not get home until 10.

Thursday I had some mystery shops to do which went well. Only problem was that I had to go into a Travel Agents and pretend I wanted a cruise - had been thinking about this for our anniversary anyway so after coming out of there I thought a cruise would be a great idea for us :eek:. Luckily once I got home and worked out the price for the time of year we want it was over £2000 so logic kicked in and I realised we can't afford it.

Also went crabbing which was fun although obviously I can't touch the bacon or crabs which made for an interesting afternoon. Even continued to crab during a thunderstorm!!

Friday I was at work so took relative to meet up with his sister-in -law (my DH's aunt).
Aunt is a bit of a nightmare, we have always got on fine but last year she was all positive for relative to live with us but when it actually happened she was right !!!!! and said she could not come to visit anymore. Also she has decided to forgive DH's brother for all the abuse he has said and done over the years just because he apologised and had counselling. As we and him do not get on it has divided the famly big time.
So now she has decided to visit and stay with other brother but needs to stay one night with us, she wanted to stay two but brother we don't talk to has conveniently booked a table for a meal on the next night so she can't stay.
Then when I saw her she had the cheek to say that she did not want any trouble between everyone and she wanted to keep the peace by spending time with relative, DH's middle brother and oldest brother. She did not even mention DH and when I said something she looked shocked. !!!!!!!!

Anyway she is going home tomorrow and has been playing happy families with DH's brothers :mad:

Saturday I had a big family BBQ which went brilliantly, loads of drink left over so DH will be happy.

Sunday we went to a show with our geese which turned out fine but DH annoyed me big time. We had agreed previously that he would get up at the same time as me so we could get everything ready and then collect the animals. I got up at 7 and nudged DH, he didn't get up so I came downstairs and got the picnic and drinks ready. I also sorted some washing out and then got all the paperwork to take with me. By now it is 7.45 and I was hoping to leave by 8. I woke DH up and he proceeded to go to the bathroom for 30 mins, I could hear him clipping his nails and all I could think was !!!!!! it does not matter that he has long nails today :mad:
By the time he was dressed I had sorted everything including getting DD ready even though it was his turn :mad:. We collected the animals together and went to the show. I was so narked, why can't he get up?

I was also ill on Sunday afternoon so when I came home I had a bath and went to bed, DH was left to sort the children so they didn't go to bed very early so as a result they have been really grumpy.

Yesterday and today DH has not gone to work as he is ill so I have told him he can't come to the zoo with us :rotfl:. I think he thinks I am joking but if he can't be bothered to go to work he can't come out with us!!!

I gained weight last week, only 1lb but that's too much. I have not done Shred since Tuesday night as not had the time and now am feeling poorly (might be the stress).

I have also forgotten to pay my Barclaycard again so need to sort that again this month. I can't do DD because the payments comes from an account which doesn't always have much money in. I also need to sort my parking fines which must be done by 21/8.

Now I'm pondering on housework - is it right for me to do all the housework as I only work 2 days or should DH help at all? I'm thinking he should help in some ways, for instance the washing basket was overflowing so what did DH do? Yup he walked right past it for the last few days until I put some in the washing machine!!
He leaves all his rubbish over the lounge :mad:

Good job I haven't booked anything for our anniversary as I don't know if we will make it that far :rotfl:

Lets hope things get better

EE

Eager_Elephant

I take some of the above back, while DH has been off today he has emptied the washing machine and dried the washing in the tumble dryer!!

Wonders will never cease!!

EE

Eager_Elephant

Have paid my Barclaycard but the statement has already been printed so now I have another £12 charge. I will have to see whether I can set up a standing order every week so the payments get to them before the statement is due. Hmmm, decisions decisions.

Just remembered had some bad news last week, my childminder is emigrating to Canada next year - !!!!!! am I going to do? :eek:
Sorry for swearing but there were only 2 childminders in my area, 1 I had a falling out with but she has now moved away and the 1 I currently use.

Will worry more at the end of the year.

EE

taxi73

Sounds very stressfulfor you at the moment..hope things improve.
Do you have a nursery that little one can go to?
Social services ..keep a list of registered childminders and nurseries

Eager_Elephant

taxi73 wrote: »

Sounds very stressfulfor you at the moment..hope things improve.
Do you have a nursery that little one can go to?
Social services ..keep a list of registered childminders and nurseries

Thanks Taxi.

Unfortunately DD is 7 so she has a childminder after school 2 days per week. There is no after school club as there was not much call for it.

Maybe I should be a childminder?!?! :rotfl:

taxi73

may be worth going to look at SS register as they have the list and there must be other 7 year olds in afterschool childcare in your area...best to sort sooner rather than later incase there's a waiting list..

Eager_Elephant

Well.........................

I'm 90% sure DH is having an affair (either physical or emotional). As you all know we have been here before but have had Relate counselling and I thought that on our good days we could get there.

Since the first 'incident' I have never trusted DH and it is usually well founded. Although to be honest he has always denied it until 6 months later when he admits it.

Since we went to Relate 2 years ago DH has been trying to earn my trust (his words) although there have been some arguments along the way.

First thing of concern was on Facebook he had a friend who 'poked' him on a regular basis, too regular for me - maybe 5 or 6 times a day. I mentioned it to him as Facebook has been a big issue in the past. I threatened to email her and tell her to !!!!!! off - DH got all defensive but I left it as the lady has left his place of work.

On Tuesday night I discovered that his Facebook updates were being sent to an email address I can't access whereas before they had gone to an Outlook account. Nothing sinister in the one I saw but what about the ones I haven't??

Yesterday we were out for the day, DH got a text, he read it and when I asked who it was from he told me it was from E (an acquaintance - male). He had his usual guilty look on his face so I asked to look at it as I suspected it was not from E as DH had seen him that morning and what he claimed was in the text was what he had already told me when he came back from their meeting.

DH flew off the handle and refused to let me look at his phone (another usual tactic). Later in the day DS told me that DH had been using his phone in the toilet. He kept his phone on him all day and then after he had gone to bed I checked it and he had deleted all messages.
Unfortunately he has a new phone so I can't check calls made and from.

I accused him of an affair yesterday but he did not mention it later that night. This morning he got up and pretended that everything was ok I however could not. I have seen all these signs before.

DH is now claiming that he does not want to be treated like a child and therefore he does not have to show me his phone, and if I don't trust him it's tough.

I mentioned that I don't trust him which he knows about and he said he is trying to gain my trust. I said that to be able to gain my trust with everything in the past then he should let me see his phone to prove me wrong and so the next time I have my suspicions I won't automatically think he is guilty. He said he was not a kid and that was the end of it.

We went to town this morning and when we got back we had planned to go out for the afternoon. DH decided that if we had to pretend we were a happy family he wouldn't come.
Now normally I would beg him to come and promise that everything would be fine but I have had enough of that so I asked him if he was coming and if he wasn't I would go alone. He said he didn't want to come so me and the kids went out for the planned afternoon.

While driving along he sent me texts and called me a spoilt brat and then a pretentious madam. I rung him and offered him one last chance to come with us but he said no. He then sent me a text telling me not to come home.

Anyway me and kids had a lovely afternoon, helped by the fact that there was no mobile signal.

When we got home he admitted that he was peed off with me as he didn't believe that I would go without him - especially as it was a place he wanted to go.

Now he has turned the issue round and blamed me for not wanting him to come so that's why he didn't come.

He disputes my allegation of an affair but of course he would and now is making me out to be the baddie.

I am trying to remain calm for the children but I don't know how long I can continue like this for.

All his actions today have been ones I have seen in the past although last time he was caught out with a text he snapped his sim card in half so I couldn't read the texts. His aggressiveness towards me (not physical) was also the same as before when he emotionally cheated but he says he is angry because he is wound up that I don't believe him.

Not sure what anyone can say to make things better but wanted to document it as i expect we will fall back in to life again and all will be forgotten until the next time - well forgotten by him and I just act the mug and let him get away with it.

We recently discussed me divorcing him when DD is 16, I have mentioned it before but he has always dismissed it. This time he realised I was serious so he wouldn't eat any food, said he would quit his job and insinuated that he would end his life.
In the end I promised that all would be ok and so life has carried on as normal.

But my life is not ok, I feel like I can't express my emotions to him as he always brings his depression into it.
I don't trust him and have not done for 8 years so what hope is there. If my house situation was not so complicated with relative living here I would have left today but obviously I can't.

God what am I going to do?? I know we have a parent/child relationship but despite trying I can't seem to get away from it.

EE

moo2moo

Aw pants. Don't know what to say other than I'm here for you, as are many others, whenever you want to rant away.

You can't stick around for the sake of the relative. OH is a grown up and can take care of him.