Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

please-let-me-be-lucky

I completely believe there is no right or wrong, just what is right for the couple/family/woman at the time. You should be proud they feel they can turn to you and the support you are giving. I'd way rather be in your position than be kept in the dark like GF's mum.

Big hugs Xx

Eager_Elephant

Thanks ladies for all your comments and support.


I am pleased my son was able to tell me although I do wonder whether he would have told me if he was not away at Uni. I think he might have as she would have needed to stay with us and he is quite honest and open with me about things.


I think I have mentioned before that I was 15yrs old when I had my son and my god it was tough but now I think I have done really well in life so it turned out ok in the end but luckily my parents supported me (although of course they were angry to start with). I think the fact I have a strong personality has helped.


I did think that if they wanted to keep the baby she would have to live with us as I doubt her mother would support her plus she is an alcoholic and her step-dad is wheelchair bound and they rely on DS' GF a lot to do things like housework etc. It wouldn't have been ideal but we would have worked through it no matter how hard it got.


I know it will all work out in the end.


I am worried about tomorrow as she her abortion is classed as late pregnancy abortion - she is about 13 weeks at the moment and I know tomorrow is going to be horrific for her and this is why I am worried for her mental state.
I am not sure when she found out she was pregnant but between xmas and new year I took her to the GP for stomach pains (she was staying at mine at the time so miles from her GP). I am assuming they did a pregnancy test then but maybe not. I know her appts with the hospital have been over the last few weeks - to be honest I assumed that once the decision was made you would get it all dealt with within the week otherwise it makes it more complicated.


Thanks again for your support.


I will be back when I can.

mummytogirls

Thinking of you today EE xx

sashybo

Oh EE, have some dodgy hugs :grouphug:

Must have been such a shock to you. Just echoing everyone else here in that at least they felt able to come to you and that you would support them.

Hope things go ok today.

Sun_Addict

Thinking of you today and hope everything goes ok. It must've been a hard decision for them but the right one I think. My DD had to have a termination 4 years ago as she was on epilepsy medication and there was a possibility the baby would be deformed. Plus the relationship with her BF was rocky, in the end they split up. It was the right decision for her although I'm sure she must think about the baby she might have had, I feel for her when DS brings his two round.

Mr SA was only 19 when we had DS. We were both living with parents. He didn't tell his parents until the day I went into labour. They were fine about it (although very shocked as you can imagine) I don't know why he didn't tell them. I kept wondering why we stopped going to his house once I started to show!

Everything always works out in the end. Big hugs xx

crazy_cat_lady

Hope that today has gone as well as it could have done for everyone EE. Thinking of you and the family.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope today has gone as well as it could have. Hugs Xx

Savvy_sewing

Hope your all ok today. Thinking of you all.
Take care

Eager_Elephant

Thanks again for all your support.

I was coping well until they asked her to complete a funeral form - once I read the questions I just burst into tears. Thankfully I managed to pull myself together and not cry again once the form was completed.
I hadn't even thought that she would be given options about a funeral.


I asked GF how far along she was and she said 16 weeks - she had first been to the hospital 3 weeks before to discuss this abortion and they told her she was 13 weeks then. I can't believe it took 3 weeks to get the process done.


On the drive home I thanked her for telling me as I knew it was hard for them, she thanked me for going with her. I mentioned them not telling me before as I could have supported her with all appointments and she said that my son wanted to tell me from Day 1 (when they found out) but she wouldn't let him as she did not know how I would react and was scared. My DS had told her I would be supportive but she was not sure and obviously due to her anxiety that made it worse.


She stayed at mine last night and today I dropped her at work - I thought she should try and take some time off but she said she felt ok and wanted to carry on as normal.


The hospital offered to send the discharge letter to her house (doctor had not yet done it and was busy on maternity ward) but she declined as her mum might open it but also where would she keep it as her mum might find it in her room. I offered to have it at mine but she said she was fine not to have the letter.
I just find it so sad that she is scared of her mother's reaction and can't tell her (sorry for repeating myself).


We had a chat about contraception - turns out she was on the pill but for some reason it did not work. She has looked it up online and quite a few people mention falling pregnant on it.
We discussed options and they had given her a leaflet about a new family planning clinic where you can drop in so we are going to go along next week together to sort out something more long term.
It felt odd having the chat with my DS' GF but she doesn't have anyone else and I can't risk her falling pregnant again.


I am hoping long term she will be ok mentally - I do worry about her.


Thanks again for your support.

Bobarella

I am so sorry for you having to deal with such a sad situation. Huge hugs.