little_h's big dreams :)

little_h_2

evening all this will have to be a quick one as I have my greyhound staying with me and he is enjoying a cuddle, every time i start typing he looks most put out his cuddle has stopped :rotfl:

nothing doing on the house front, no great surprise really. I will keep it on the market but am not expecting anything. I keep trying to be positive about it but it is a bit exhausting really, I am trying to be positive about so many things at once!

Today I worked out that even if I stay here, if nothing else changes then I can be debt free by August 2013 which is when I need to buy my ex out of the deed of trust on my house. By that time I will have some good equity in the house and will be able to afford to remortgage for whatever is owing to him at the time.

It would be a long slog and lonely if I stay on my own, but a big part of me thinks it's maybe just better that way for a while :j

This has at least made me feel that I can stay here and have some sort of end in sight. I do love my house, it isn't cheap but I feel settled here and having moved around as muhc as I have, that is worth a lot to me

thrifty_fifty

Onwards and upwards little h. You'll get there.

xx

chevalier

hi little h, wow what a read. So sorry that you ahve had such a rough year.

But well done on not adding to the debt, but adding to the house and getting it ready for sale.

Have you ever done an SOA to see if there are any ways that you can cut back, but you haven't thought of yet?
chev

little_h_2

ooh new posters :j hi there

chevalier, I have an SOA (done thanks to the DFW forum last October), I decided not to post it in the end.

I have whittled it down a treat and the only room for maneouvre now is my food and fuel budget - hence the driving a bit slower :-/ which is working ok sometimes and less so at other times :rotfl:

I made £60 from my ebay sales - most on slightly used posh brand makeup again, unbelievable what people will buy covered my original outlay in one case so that was good!

I'm looking towards christmas now. I spent a very enjoyable afternoon last weekend hunting for edible things to make and am going to have a dry run this coming weekend to practice. my office will be very grateful! This should be minimal outlay and will satisfy my desire to bake and to give gifts so should be good all round

the dog is here til the weekend and then I have plans to hit Bluewater on Saturday for a window shopping session with a friend. Plus I have clubcard vouchers to use in Pizza Express before the end of the month. Should work well as we are both skint and trying not to eat toooo much so will try out the new diet menu :rotfl:

little_h_2

a free weekend! yippee! doggies to play with! yippee!

today I am going to have a quick practice at some xmas baking, do some music practice and then head to my mums to do some dog sitting for the afternoon.

I went to my work do last night, it was wonderful. I had to leave early to get back for the dog as he is staying til today. It was the first party i have been to in a long time where I was sad to go.

I didn't have anything to drink but had found a fantastic frock and skyscraper heels for an absolute song in New Look (less than £30 for both), and so I felt really great. so much so that I was first in the queue for the limbo dancing :rotfl:

it's frrrrreezing in the house and outside but it is really beautiful outside.

my thoughts are turning to motorbike racing lately. it will be a while before i can do it again but it's nice to think about the day coming when I will be able to start up again.

little_h_2

evening

a busy couple of weeks coming up and an unpleasant few days.

started some counselling with my ex fiance as there is a lot to resolve. I am not sure if I still want to be with him or not.

We have seen a bit of each other the last few weeks but then last night everything came to a head again as another chasing letter came to my house. despite him supposedly having sorted them all out, despite him having told me that no letters would come to my house as no one had my address.

This has dredged up things from almost 6 months ago, and I am feeling like a fool for thinking/wanting to believe that he had changed. I still have the feeling I am not in the full picture and this is making me cross enough to find the strength to trust my instincts this time.

finances wise, things are pretty rubbish, had a problem with my car last week resulting in a bill for £170. this has swallowed a months bill savings and I have to order heating oil at the end of the week which will be a small fortune especially as the fuel prices are so high at the moment.

this has re-focussed me on my debt free mission. I had wanted to lose a couple of pounds anyway so the tightness on the money front is helping me to work towards this goal too. At the moment most of my unscheduled spending is on food, and this is showing in my bank account and on my bum as i can't get in my thin jeans at the moment :mad:

so i am having my january cut back ahead of christmas as well as after! :rotfl: i will indulge (in a budgeted way) over christmas - mum and dad have given me some money for food as they are coming here so i can do my domestic goddess thing for people who appreciate it but until then, i am on strict rations!

i should probably feel more miserable about it than i actually do. but i am once again realising that when my ex is around, all control over my eating and drinking and music practice goes out of the window and i end up feeling guilty about eating/drinking too much and not getting things done that i need/want to do.

i'm rambling now. i will stop

satchmo1

Hi Little, sorry to say this, and I hope you can truly hear the message, but here goes.......... DON'T trust him, leopards don't change their spots, and he will never (repeat.... never) change. If you get back together after what he has done to you, he will think he can always do that and you will take him back. One of my beliefs is that you get the behaviour you put up with! So, if you put up with, i.e. take him back after, lying cheating stealing, you'll get lying cheating stealing in the future.

You can control your own finances, even if it takes a long time, you can't control anyone elses behaviour.

Sending you big love, and prayers that you protect yourself xxx

little_h_2

thanks for posting, satchmo1, and welcome.

it is very difficult accepting this when you love someone and believe the best of everyone. it has taken a while but i think i am getting it through my little head now

I have been very ill this week, plus coupled with a narrowly averted heating crisis, I am in a very different place now to where I was a few weeks ago.

it's all very cathartic but I am now ready for a lovely Christmas with my mum, dad and dogs, and can't wait to cast off 2010 and get on with a whole new year.

hypno06

Here's to a fantastic 2011 all round. Look after yourself xxx

satchmo1

Hi Little
Glad you're in a better place now, and very glad the heating disaster was averted. Well done on getting through a terrible year, and here's to a fantastic 2011 for you and all MSE-ers.
Satchmo x