little_h's big dreams :)

little_h_2

evening all

well. a very busy couple of days.

the wedding fair went fine. It was a very hectic day as I needed to do a few bits of paperwork to prepare for it, but couldn't physically do very much on Saturday, I was completely wiped out. Had a lovely evening eating curry and watching a very fluffy film about weddings - it was quite funny and certainly a cheap and enjoyable evening with my friend. I thought we had arranged to meet up for the afternoon, but she rang and asked about the evening so went with that instead.

I spent the afternoon flaked out on the sofa watching Death on the Nile. Not my usual sort of thing but it seemed to appeal and was quite good. I don't think I actually fell asleep but I did feel quite dopey! I then did a bit of practice to arrange some music for Sunday morning. And then I decided to have a bath I hardly ever do this but it was wonderful.

I have been reading a book on and off for a while called Romancing the Ordinary. Fairly self explanatory, written by a lady who recovered from a very serious head injury. It's about taking pleasure in very simple, sensory things. She talks in the intro about the day her sense of smell returned - it certainly made me think about things when I bought it back in July last year. It follows a calendar year and seems to be a series of brief musings on all sorts of lovely things to do with senses of taste, smell, touch etc. It took some getting into but now I am really loving it. So I had a read of this while I was in the bath, was only part way through January so will catch up a bit over the next few days I hope.

The wedding fair went very well on Sunday. As above, it was pretty hectic and I got a little lost on the way, but had put my foot down on the way so arrived in time. I got very stiff while playing, but had a couple of positive enquiries. Both were for the same date, which frustratingly I already have a booking for. But I have passed one on to my harping friend, and she is very pleased. I haven't heard back from the other one for definite yet, but this will go on to my normal agent and she has promised some commission if it comes to fruition so this is a nice surprise too. So you could say that everyone else has done very well from Sunday BUT on Monday I had a phonecall from another hotel in the same area, they have offered me a spot at their wedding fair in a couple of weeks, also no charge! So fingers crossed something comes out of this too.

Sunday's manager has also said there is a possibility of some themed Sunday lunches later in the year, so he will bear me in mind.

I feel very positive as a result

I have felt very very tired the last couple of days, and last night's counselling was exhausting. It was very useful but I really was just too tired so left a bit before the natural finishing point came.

Before counselling, I went to Mr S and chose a nice wedding present for ex hubby. I had been umming and ahhing about what to get as I am pretty strapped, but decided I did want to give them something. So I chose some lovely photo frames from their home range, on a promotion so bought a large one and 2 smaller ones. I found lovely wrapping paper and a nice card, and wrapped it up last night while wishing them well and thinking of nice things for them.

I wasn't sure they would appreciate it, but gave it to them tonight when I collected the dog. It had slipped off the front seat of the car so I suggested they open it to make sure it wasn't damaged, and they were very appreciative. I explained I had chosen a large picture frame for a wedding photo and 2 smaller frames, one for my friend's 4 year old daughter and the other for the bump. The colour scheme/style of the frames was to match their recently decorated house and they seemed to get it.

So I now feel a nice warm glow that I did something nice for them, they liked it and there are no hard feelings. Had a big cuddle with my ex hubby before I got in the car. Think there were a few tears in both pairs of eyes, told him he deserved to be happy and then left. I can close the door and hope that I will be able to be happy with someone at some point, if they come along. And if not, well, so be it.

The dog is here until next Friday now. I am very pleased about this. He is starting to moult which is less than ideal, but there are worse things to complain about

I have a work from home day tomorrow (thank goodness! I am exhausted so will be glad of a lie in!). I finished a big nasty job today at work so am feeling very pleased all round. I can get stuck into some other bits tomorrow and then am back in the office on Thursday so can finish everything off and hopefully leave with a clear conscience for a lovely week off.

Going to hoof off now, another rambling post! :rotfl:

Wordsmith

What a lovely, lovely post, Little_h. I'm glad the fair went well, and there are some very promising responses. The themed lunches sound interesting, and could be some free advertising for you, too.

Well done on the present front with your ex. This must have been very hard for you, but it sounds like they know it was and are grateful for the way you are dealing with it all. You deserve someone lovely for yourself, and I am sure that one day someone will come along for you.

Enjoy the time with your dog, and your lie in tomorrow.

beanielou

What a lovely person you are.

little_h_2

thanks, I have my moments and am not normally so lovely :rotfl: (need a little devil smiley now!) my lovely colleague at work said I was too nice I had owned up to the counselling, he had asked why I was going, so after he said I was too nice, I said that's what the counselling was about, to toughen me up a bit! :T

I am very, very ready for my break from work.

I have resisted the chippy on the way back from harp pupil's lesson. I did give in and have wine but that will last til tomorrow at least.

I have promised myself a small portion of chippy chips for lunch tomorrow if I want them when I go past the chip shop tomorrow. And have a pizza (slightly ahead of payday!) planned for tomorrow night as I will be on holiday by then.

I have a list growing in my mind of things to do next week. Some nice/indulgent (no-spend/low-spend) things and some chores too. I must scribble these down tomorrow so I don't waste my days planning and not doing.

I had the harp photos back - there are some lovely shots, but there is no escaping the fact that i need to lose some weight. I saw on the MSE email today that there is a 3-month free WW trial going so am tempted to try this. But realistically I know that if I just be sensible and focus for a few weeks i can do it on my own.

The trouble is, cutting back on spends AND food leaves me feeling very deprived. My counsellor asked me what other pleasures in life there were and apart from spending time with family, or my dog (which is not regular), there weren't really any regular ones. I will have a think about this next week.

I would like to volunteer at the greyhound rescue centre but this is 20 miles away and will cost a bit in fuel. I also think I will get too attached to the lovely dogs and get upset. but i won't know unless I at least find out more.

little_h_2

evening all!

I am on holiday yippeee! :j So am catching corrie and just enjoying the thought of no work for a while :rotfl:

I went in to see my boss about something today, she asked to talk to me about something else when I was done and shut the door. Thought I was in for a pasting but she said that she was really pleased with my work since I came back from Christmas and the improvement in my work and myself/my attitude is very noticeable and I have done some brilliant stuff! :j :T

She said normally she would love to give me a payrise but current climate etc etc. This wasn't a big surprise and I am happy as things are, grateful to have a job etc. especially given I really was coasting for a couple of months last year. So I am feeling very chipper and glad my efforts have been noticed if not rewarded, as I really have tried my damnedest to put a bit more into things at work. She has mentioned it to our FD too which is good news. I like working where I work, it is a tough time at the moment but weighing everything up, it suits me and by and large I am well treated and happy there. I am glad I went back.

I am also weighing up changing my car. I have had to spend out on a few things in the last couple of months and while I know my car will go on for a while yet, I could get something cheaper to run and more fuel efficient. Something to investigate over the next few days.

In the mean time, I drove home beneath a beautiful sunset, my dog is here and has enjoyed his pizza crusts, and I don't have to get up early in the morning. I am defrosting some farm shop bacon for bacon butties for my breakfast. I have done a shred so feel less like a heifer. I feel good. I am thinking of ex fiance lots lately but no pressure on this. the week to come is all about me me me! :rotfl: in the nicest possible way

LittleBoots

:j:jholidays:j:jWhat a great feeling to be off for a while!
You are sounding in good spirits:). Saw your bit about volunteering at the greyhound centre, its always in the back of my mind to volunteer at my local cat and dog home. The only thing is I work shifts and couldnt commmit to specific hours. Its a shame, I've looked into volunteering a few times and it seems to be a lot harder to do than I thought, I can understand why they want commitment but theres not much out there for people who have a few hours to spare here and there. Well there probably is but not in the sectors I'd like:o.

little_h_2

I know what you mean. I have volunteered as a youth worker before, and now do Brownies once a week. I am lucky as my hours are relatively stable these days, but I agree that with shifts, its difficult. I need to see if they are OK with once a month as once I get going with harp stuff in the summer, I won't be able to manage any more So am hoping that a bit of walking will be OK at least.

choogirl

Enjoy your time off Little_h.

It was nice of your boss to give you some recognition, mine never gives me a pat on the back but I've figured that he would just tell me if there was anything wrong.

Enjoy the time with your pooch xxx

Wordsmith

What a great boss to give you this feedback. A lot of bosses don't realise what a huge difference it makes to people to be given a bit of praise and thanks now and again. Would be nice if it was accompanied by a bonus, of course, but the little glow of recognition is a big boost. And well done to you for making it happen.

Enjoy your week off with your dog.

little_h_2

cor it's been ages since I posted (well, comparatively anyway!)

will try and keep it brief, I am so tired that I can't concentrate on anything for long.

I had a fab weekend with my mum. The spa was fantastic and the food was out of this world. But sensible sized portions so not too much to feel too guilty about I had a 35 minute back massage which was agonising at times but in a good way.

Took my harp in for his service yesterday but something weird has happened with one of the pedals so rang them this morning to see about getting it sorted.

I popped to Bluewater to kill the time between harp drop off and pick up and had a good time. Well, mixed but mostly good. Feeling pretty crap about how I look at the mo, needing a good thorough sort out of the wardrobe so I can really get it licked and put my best foot forward.

On the plus side, I tried some jeans on in Gap as they had 25% off denim. I have had many of my most traumatic jeans trying on sessions in Gap changing rooms, but they have recently relaunched their range (again! clearly they know they are doing something wrong but can't get it right haha!). And I found some that fitted. Well, almost, but the right size in the colour I wanted wasn't in stock. So I will pop into town tomorrow I think and see if they have any there.

They had some nice ones in Hobbs too (which became much more reasonable with the £25 gift card in Red recently!) but were too big round the waist, and I know my waist will only get smaller. So I walked away.

I think I will take the Matalan frock back (bought a couple of weeks ago). I do like it but don't have anything else to go with it and a few things I bought from there after new year haven't washed very well. They were cheap enough so not too much of a trauma, but would rather spend my money elsewhere.

I added up what I had left to spend, spent a little bit more but this will go back to HMV. I bought 2 Davina fitness DVDs, plus 2 others. I didn't really need the others as well as Davina, but got tempted basically. Thought about it last night and decided to try Davina this morning and return the other 2 if I didn't like Davina.

Well, much as I love the Shred (weird, I know) I wanted a bit of variety so I have some choice, plus I wnated something a bit longer for when I have some time to spare. I did Davina's Power of Three this morning and it was excellent, will definitely do it again lots. This is a full hour but can be broken up. The other DVD has three 30 minute workouts so I reckon if I can stick to these in a week, I should be on track.

The sticking to it is the difficult bit! But all the indulgence over the weekend has left me wanting to sort myself properly. I have had some ideas regarding food/cooking so will try and get a plan together.

I am wobbling a bit. I have realised how deeply deeply tired I am. It was lovely to relax over the weekend but could have done with another couple of days, so will bear this in mind for when I go again. I am committed to lots of things on my harp and am feeling rather anxious about this, I want to do well but it will take a lot of practice.

I will have a chat to my teacher at my lesson on Thursday.

But really I think, I had a great January with no ex worries and got loads done. I have been seeing him more through Feb and been busy, and feel out of control again. Not his fault, but something about being around him makes me lose track of what I want and am working towards

So this week....I want to get the house back under control, do some meal planning, sort through all my old paperwork and photos, get a bit of DIY done, sort through my wardrobe properly with a view to capsule heaven (!) and RELAX!

Other news - the dog is snoozing away and has been for most of the week. it's lovely having him here and also means I get out twice a day and don't stay in bed all day as he needs feeding and attending to.