little_h's big dreams :)

Souk08

Hon feeling ARRGGGHHH for you. If he's so unrelaible that you are living in fear then I would personally give these folk a quick call and give them his new address. You shouldn't have to but he sounds a total flake so this might be the best way and stop the fear?

Hugs whatever you do.

And aye relationships can be great but only when you know that you're great and what fabulous things you deserve. You're on the right road X

mineallmine

Hugs hun.

Whats that phrase:-
if you always do what you always done, you will always get what you always got.

I think you need a different tack with those letters. Ignore what you ex is saying. I would do several things:
1. If the post is unopened I would put it in an envelope - get this sent by registered post - and return it to the sender.
2. If the post is opened, I would write a letter to them (again by registered post) saying that person no longer lives here and hasnt done since XXX.
3. Go onto mps online (google it) - its the mail preference service - and get his name removed for any sales stuff from your address.
4. Have a cup of tea

We had tax people knock at our old house - really serious stuff. Its only when those people know he is not there that they should stop.

Also - I would say its a clear message from the heavens,universe,whatever you believe - that the Ex is definitely now an Ex. Period.

Sending you hugs :A

Edit: boy do I fancy a bag of chips right now!

little_h_2

believe me, I am not just moaning about it and leaving it to him.

They are being returned to sender with 'Not known at this address' on each time and I am logging the dates and the addresses on the back of the envelope - googled it which confirmed it was a DCA

I don't want to ring them tbh, they are not nice people and the last thing I can deal with now is grief over the phone when it is not my issue.

ex is apparently ringing CCCS each time. I looked at some of the rules/regs on the DFW board and they are in breach of at least one of the terms as the debt has (apparently) already been rolled into an IVA so they shouldn't be contacting me.

I am going to fill in a mail redirection form and get him to sign it when he comes next week.

my brother is training to be a solicitor and I have a couple of legal eagle friends, but tbh I don't want this company having my name anywhere near my ex's records.

there has been no doubt that he is staying ex for about the last week now. and today's events are only reinforcing that, especially his responses. I don't hate him but am fed up with the whole thing!

This afternoon was a shocker with work, think everyone has been on the grumpy juice today. And the Brownies were hyper beyond belief!

We are planning a comedy night for Comic Relief for them for next week - they are already doing some fundraising at school so we don't want to ask for any more money from parents, so we are going to focus on the comedy instead :j should be a good night! Some of them are very shy but there are some real comedians in the pack so hopefully everyone will have a few laffs

I caved in and bought wine tonight. Someone has been looking out for me though, and my favourite pizza was on BOGOF and one of my favourite wines had 20% off. Although I am not clocking up the AF nights, a bottle of wine now lasts 3 nights and I only finished last month's gin bottle last week. Feel better that I feel in control of my drinking again

Tomorrow should be ok at work, boss is off and some of today's protagonists will be doing other things. I am looking forward to getting home tomorrow night and having a lie in on Saturday morning

Harp newsflash - had a great practice session this evening. My lovely vicar has come back with a date for a concert, should be September time. This will be after my Italy course, so I am looking forward to putting together a great gig for my friends and family and helping to support the church and vicar that have led to some wonderful things for me (and those are words I never thought I would say!)

Lastly - I have FINALLY taken 2 bags of stuff to the charity shop today! They have been in the back of my car for about 6 months! :eek: And I managed to fix my car radio which put itself on the blink a couple of days ago, all by myself! :mad: but :T

Shoe_Gal

Good advice there - take care of you :A

little_h_2

It has been a beautiful morning here. I decided to bite the bullet and try going in on my bike today. I feel very odd about riding after a long break, and find all manner of excuses to go out even on a short journey, which is silly as I love my bike to bits. It is a different mindset required though, and it's risky, and my life is very much safety first at teh moment as my finances are so pressured.

So I left it in the lap of the gods/goddesses/universe/whoever/whatever is up there, as to whether today was the day. I haven't ridden since last summer, and suspected my bike would need a little go on the optimate (trickle charger for the battery). However I didn't get round to this all week. I got all togged up this morning, and went to the garage. Bike wouldn't start not surprising but felt very sad.

But at least I know that I now really want to go out for a ride and the time is right, even though for whatever reason someone didn't want me to go out today. I never ignore this, and if I get a strong feeling not to ride, I just don't. Whenever I have ignored this before, something has happened and I am lucky enough to have another option at the moment even if it has 2 wheels too many

At least I can do the supermarket shopping tonight. I have a £3 off over £30 voucher for Mr S so will go there. Their sugar free tonic is nice and goes well with Gordons, their own brand coco pops are the best, I like their own brand washing powder etc and their own brand earl grey tea (caff and decaff!) and lots of the things I buy are no more than Tescos and sometimes slightly cheaper than Waitrose.

my Asda is a bit scary and my Tescos isn't great either, so I am afraid I put comfort above moneysaving here. Going to the supermarket is one of life's pleasures for me, I worked in one in my teens for a long time so just feel comfortable in them weird I know!

I have had my pizza/wine blowout now, so will be buying stuff for sensible cheap dinners for the rest of the month. I am confident I can stay well within my budget this month, even with buying some dog food which I will need to get.

I must sort out my BT and then will feel back in control of the finances.

Work is better today, nice and quiet and I am ticking off little things from my to do list which is good :T

Souk - forget to comment on your relationship comment. Thank you for this, I know you are right. If it happens, great. But as you say, only if I am OK on my own first. There is a sniff of something with someone very unexpected, and I think seeing that film the other night made me realise I have a long way to go before I even think about it!

Wordsmith

When the time is right, the time is right, little_h. Go with your intuition. (Was talking about relationships, but it's the same as you said with the bike - if it doesn't feel right, you don't do it.)

little_h_2

Thanks the last thing I want is to take the old baggage into anything new, so think I will just leave things for a while. If it's meant to be, it will be. And it is just a sniff at the mo!

LittleBoots

little_h wrote: »

Thanks the last thing I want is to take the old baggage into anything new, so think I will just leave things for a while. If it's meant to be, it will be. And it is just a sniff at the mo!

Well said! :A

Shoe_Gal

LittleBoots wrote: »

Well said! :A

From me too! :j

little_h_2

afternoon all,

had the most amazing musical weekend! this is going to be a long one (and more than a little disjointed, but helps me to put things in writing)!

Friday night - did supermarket shopping, was pleased with what I spent and am sorted for the month. £60 including £11 on razorblades and £14 on gin, should only need a couple of top ups on milk/sandwich stuff/fresh stuff :T

but was shattered when I got in, it was 8 o'clock had GnT and too much wine and then couldn't sleep.

Saturday morning I ended up v stressed as I knew I had loads to sort out for the afternoon and was going straight to a wedding fair from my harp buddy's house so had to get organised for that too. I didn't feel great, still an emotional wreck plus the alcohol. I am drinking so much less now that when I go anywhere near the amount I used to drink in an evening, it knocks me for 6! :eek:

I managed to calm down a bit by doing a 30 min Davina workout then had a nice shower and treating myself to the full Queen of Sheba routine - body scrub, proper body lotion, perfume the lot.

The afternoon was AMAZING - we had a proper jam session, trying new stuff and recorded our Killing me Softly jam. It was a bit disjointed in places (but this was only our second ever time playing together!) but there was some great stuff in there so hope to edit it a bit and can then pop it on myspace so will feel all proper! :j We also tried Make You Feel My Love (Adele did it recently although it's a Bob Dylan song) which was incredible, but we had run out of energy to record that so had dinner and a little wine, and watched Juno. I have never seen it and loved it

Couldn't sleep again on Saturday. This is a disaster for me, I am normally good with my sleep, and now my tummy is off as well. This means stress levels are high (has to be really bad before I am off my food) so I need to be really careful.

Wedding fair went by on Sunday, definitely a good thing to have both of us doing it. No bookings but lots of details exchanged which was good and hopefully somebody will remember us when the time comes.

I drove home with the city of London in my rear view mirror, surrounded by the most gorgeous sunset. I was in a very melancholy mood so put a Nina Simone CD on in the car (one of my favourite singers ever) - have fallen in love with the Night Song which has the wonderful lyrics "Where do you go when you feel like your brain is on fire, Where do you go when you don't even know what it is you desire" so played it over and over again. Did I say I was an emotional wreck :rotfl:

The bad news is that I have injured my arm, I think through playing. It is very sore and I am worried sick as I have a concert this coming Saturday and a wedding next Saturday and another wedding fair on Sunday. I have booked an appointment with a recommended osteopath for next week, and will try to rest it as much as I can.

Got home last night, was shattered beyond belief and couldn't face cooking. Pizza again loved it but it sat heavy on my stomach as I went to bed really early. Not enough sleep again and now I am really tired. I'm keeping going with coffee today but I was hoping to get some exercise in tonight in the hope I can wear myself out a bit body wise as well as brain wise. My hand/arm is extremely painful today but hopefully I can manage something energetic at least. I don't know whether to try or not.

Work is crazy. I have a meeting up north on Thursday to prepare for, plus lots of other things going on as well. A few things left over from last week's shocker. A few big characters to manage on Thursday. We are travelling up for the meeting on Wednesday afternoon so hopefully I will have some time in the evening to get round to my granny's for a quick cuppa.

I have got to do something to change my lifestyle. I work silly hours full time and travel a long way to work (or I do 3 days a week at least). I live alone in a big house which needs a lot of cleaning/maintenance. I don't really have any social life to speak of. I have a second career which is starting to take off, but need to spend more time doing this - getting an hour's practice in an evening feels like a total luxury but this is the minimum I need really. I feel like I am stuck in the wheel and there is nothing left energy/time/money wise for fun stuff, and by that I mean a social life with friends or family. I feel like life is passing me by and I am old before my time. I am lucky in so many ways, but have to force myself to remember the little things are what is important

I have been thinking seriously about more music as I know what I want to do with this now. I would get into uni and possibly even music college, but the thumping debts mean this is not a financially achievable right now.

To calm my brain a little, I am going to do some sums to see if there is any juggling that could be done, at least so I know what I would need financially to survive on some different levels. Maybe I need to think about selling up again but my roots/emotional ties to the house are important right now.

OK I have managed to depress myself now so will stop! :rotfl:will leave it as a post though as I like to look back at things.