Sallyx's Sink or Swim, Swimerdy Swim Diary ;)

sallyx

Morning all

Had a reasonable nights sleep and well lots to do today so thinking positive.

right better get organised,

sammy115

Are you feeling any better Sally...

It doesn't matter who does the dumping. At one point in your life you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with this man. You had a child by this man...you are bound to mourn the passing of a dream (for want of a better word). When I got divorced I felt it was worse than death (apologies to anyone who has lost a loved one) because you had lost someone but they were still there!

Have you considered counselling...I found it invaluable after I divorced....

Quirkylass

Hello Sally, Weller here

Sorry to butt into your diary but have been reading about your problems and feelings and just felt I had to post.

Just because it's a relationship that has broken down and ended does not in any way mean you are not suffering some kind of loss and therefore you are perfectly entitled to grieve, to wonder "what if", "what now", etc etc, "should I have done this", shall I do that", "what shall I say to B" the list goes on and on and every day you may face a new challenge, a new dilema to take on board and it will, just the same as me, take a lot of time for you to begin feeling that you are stronger for it and can tackle any thing life throws at you. Some people re-adjust quite quickly and easily, others don't but it does not make you any less of a person whichever one is you.

I think from the little I know that you have made the right decision for you and B, it just takes time to learn to be by yourselves, despite what your Ex -OH may not have contributed to the family unit. He has still gone and will stay gone because that is what is best for you and B and B, in time, will see how much more happier her lovely Mummy is, sadly without her Daddy but as long, I think, that you don't stand in the way of B having some sort of a relationship with her Dad (NOT THAT I EVER THINK YOU WOULD), you will be able to monitor it and then, if needs be, make the right decision for her. Hopefully it will not come to that and her Daddy will do what is right for her and continue to put her first, if he is any sort of a father he will.

So have the bad days, cry your tears, etc but in your heart of hearts you know you have done the right thing and whilst I know it is lonely, believe me I do know, take comfort in the many friends you have on DFW and don't make the mistake of staying away like I did. Don't bottle it all up, rant, rave, do whatever makes you feel better and all you can do is take one thing/day at a time and deal with it. And then the next day, start all over again even though you are still greiving for the loss of someone, and it doesn't matter who made that decision, its still a loss, you have lost your OH, you have lost the future with him and the past you had with him but it was the right thing for you and B and it does get easier, please believe that.

Again, apologies for intruding and lots of love xx

hypno06

Quirkylass wrote: »

Again, apologies for intruding and lots of love xx

Never ever apologise for intruding!

babyhead

(((hugs)))

have recently found your diary and wanted to send u some hugs. hope u are having a positive day today!

beanielou

What a lovely post weller.
Lovely to 'see' you & I hope life is trating you well xxxx

Bunnyinthelights

Sal,
Nothing really to add because everyone has pretty much said it and I agree.

Love you dear friend, please dont think you are alone and I mean it 100% when I say CALL ME if you are having one of those 2am moments again.

x

SuzySu

See Sal....you are surrounded by some wonderful people on here. Please don't sit with this...some of the more nutty ones (yes you Bun) are pretty much available even at 2am so even if you just send a text to get it out of your head, you will feel better for it.

System

Stay strong Sall, cruel to be kind perhaps? Try and keep those black clouds at bay. Take care missus x

Verbatim

Are you expecting your ex back this weekend? I couldn't see if that was a definite arrangement. If so can you put him on the sofa? In his mind is he just working away from home? Does he realize that in your mind he is your ex? I hope you can stay strong if you will have to explain your feelings and intentions at the weekend. You're doing a great job Sally. Hang in there.
V